How High Page #4

Goddamn!

Okay, but,

what's his name?

I Need Money!

- Doesn't talk. How come he?

- I Need Money, he's a mute.

When we first hooked up,

he wrote on a slip of paper

I Need Money.

I said, Sh*t! Me too,

and we started makin' it

together after that.

- Where he stayin'?

- Harvard.

Lovell House.

Second Floor,

right on the couch.

But he's smoking in our room.

That's not legal.

Just be cool,

And you might have some fun

this semester.

Stupid.

NWA? Kid, what do you

know about that?

Yeah, yeah.

I love N*ggers With Attitudes.

Nobody--

I repeat, nobody...

- drops the N-bomb up in here.

- Nobody.

- That go for you too.

- Hey, I am down with you, man.

You East coast,

I Far East coast.

I'm from Wisconsin.

Yo, fresh and funky.

Dean Cain wants to

see you in his office.

Don't be late.

Gentlemen, this institution

has graduated...

countless

Fortune 500 C.E.O.'s,

and 6 presidents.

Hey, Dean...

where's all them fly-ass

women the chancellor

was talkin' about?

I mean, so far,

I only seen some stuck-up,

nerdy-ass-lookin'

women out there.

Aah!

You were dropping Chee-tos...

You were dropping Chee-tos...

on an original 18th-century

handwoven tapestry!

You mean, this carpet?

This is out of

my personal collection.

I got this in

my travels to Nepal!

Man, I know the b*tch

that make these rugs.

You know Juanita.

- Yeah, I remember that b*tch.

- It means the world to me!

Now, as I was saying,

here at Harvard...

we have very high standards.

Any student on a scholarship...

must maintain

at least a 2.0 average,

or you will be expelled.

It's good to know

we have the support

of the faculty, Dean.

And don't you worry.

Me and Jamal here,

- we're all about good grades.

- Is that right, Mr. King?

Hell, motherfuck--

I mean, yes, sir,

Dean Cain, sir.

Slam, slam, brother

My brother

Is that the one

that you want

Slam, slam, brother

My brother, is that

the one that you want

Now, how is carbon dioxide

changed into oxygen?

Plants, dick!

God ! You guys!

Jamal. Jamal. Jamal.

Sleepyhead, wake up!

I got somethin'

for your ass.

Come on, gentlemen!

Pick it up if you want to be

part of this squad!

Taxi!

Whew! What took

y'all guys so long?

Coach, I have not lost

an oar run in three years.

I'm wonderin'

if this guy cheated.

Cheated?

Man, f*** you!

Why is f***in' Dick Butt-kiss

over here always ridin' me?

Dick Butt-kiss?

Did you hear that, Coach?

He's cursing!

Bart, I think you'd better

go open up the boathouse.

But, Coach!

Bart!

I don't think

you wanna see this.

You, here.

Come here. Come here!

Nice comeback

on the Dick Butt-kiss.

I wish I could have said that.

His parents have been

driving me crazy, making my life

a misery for years,

but they give lots of money

to the university.

I have to go to those

lousy cocktail parties.

She has lousy perfume,

and he has a lousy toupee.

Anyway,

you keep throwing zingers

to this jerk-off,

and you're gonna

make the team, son.

And let that

be a lesson to you!

This is the last time!

All right,

rookies, push-ups!

Get down!

Yo, what's up

with the fast stroll?

Can I holler?

Hi.

The role played...

by the African-Americans

in the history of this country...

has been largely unnoticed.

Of course,

history is the record

of an account of the past,

but the issue here is,

who is recording the account?

If it's Snowflake, Whitey...

Paleface,

Peckeoods, Cracker,

well, we got Cleopatra

looking like Elizabeth Taylor,

Jesus looks like a hippie in a dashiki.

But if it's one of my proud

black people that's doing

the recording of the account--

Yo, Silas!

Well, we might have

Moses looking like...

this fine black man

right here.

But black people

don't get any credit.

I'm sore as a motherf***er, man.

Who invented

the air conditioner?

A black man.

What's up, dogs?

Yo, son,

I'm sore as a b*tch in here.

And you know what else?

I'm gonna have to knock that

Bart character the f*** out.

Once again, a black man.

Can't this wait till

after class? You're supposed

to be in here anyway.

This is Black History.

Black History?

Man, it look like

all the black students that

was in here are history, nigga.

- Shh!

- You tellin' me to shh?

F*** history.

Oh, that's right.

- F*** history.

- Yeah, f*** history.

I'm Mr. Moses. I expect you'll

be ready for your quiz tomorrow.

Quiz, my ass!

The white man teachin'

Black History, anyway,

that's some bullshit.

I'm goin' to lunch,

take a nice long sh*t.

That's the kind of attitude

I like to hear.

And, uh, where are you going?

Um, we didn't land

on Plymouth Rock.

Plymouth Rock landed on us.

Ooh, all right!

Malcolm X!

I'm glad someone's

appreciating the knowledge

I'm dropping on you today.

What about you two?

Why don't yo walk out

and protest with your brothers?

Walk out on me! What are

you doing sitting there?

You look like Whitey.

You look like a couple

of goddamn Uncle Toms!

Walk on out!

That's right,

get up and move!

You should lynch me!

Lynch me for what my people

have done to your people.

Stand up for your rights

Move on up! Move on up!

Go, go, go, go.

Hey, what's up?

Stop!

Bicycle, bicycle

Hey, what's

going on here?

He took my baby!

Stop!

Bring my baby back!

Bike, bike

Not my baby! Oh, God!

Oh, please, God!

Come back!

Bicycle, bicycle

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle

Bicycle

Oh, no!

Oh, my God! My wheels!

Oh, my horn!

Please dont back up!

Please dont back up!

Hey, you!

Where's E I m and Third?

What?

Don't go forward!

Not forward!

- That's not yours!

- Look at these, bro!

No, don't putem in--

Oh, my baby!

Can anyone tell me the name

Of this plant? Bart?

Oh, yeah. It's a, uh,

hanging rubber plant.

It's indigenous to the wet drylands

of the Northern Hemisphere.

Yeah, right, Bart.

Would you bet money on that?

Or is that like below

the Dooster Principle?

Yeah, I'll bet on it.

How about an S.U.V.?

I got three ofem.

And the survey says,

"You lose."

It's a neem plant,

Professor.

Oui. It is,

but how did you

know that, Silas?

I had this

nasty-ass rash once.

Put a little

neem plant on it,

cleared it up in an hour.

- I even smoked it before.

- Well, that figures.

One thing it doesn't cure, though?

Bein' a spoiled little b*tch.

I'd like you all to do

an experiment on a plant,

something that

may benefit mankind.

And if you devise

something groundbreaking,

I guarantee you

an "A " in this course.

Class dismissed.

Good work, everyone.

Keep up the good work.

Thank you.

So, he likes plants, does he?

I see still waters run deep.

Please believe.

But wait till you see

my presentation.

You gonna love me after that.

So, Lauren,

you might as well tell him now

and get it over with.

What?

You know.

How you said...

you're startin' to see Bart

for the shallow bastard that he is,

and eventually you're gonna

leave his ass for me.

Allah.

This semester in Women's Studies,

we will discuss...

how women are objectified

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