How High Page #6

Yee-hah!

Look out!

Timber!

That statue was priceless.

It means everything to our family.

Will you stop your

damn sniveling, son?

Buck up, Bart!

Buck up!

Yo, do you think

they gonna find out

we stole the Dooster statue?

Hell, no.

Oh, my God.

I knew it.

You guys stole

the Dooster!

They do what?

Fellas, I think it's time

we all sat down and kicked it.

No, no,

I'm not kicking anything.

I have a pledge meeting to go to

and haven't greased myself up.

God, I just don't get

you guys.

There's a lot of things in life

your ass just don't get.

Yeah, like p*ssy

and respect.

I heard that.

See, the system

is geared to put...

most of the wealth

into the hands of a few.

Rich weapons,

poor schooling.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Yeah, for sure.

Y'all don't know sh*t.

I'm gonna learns you, though.

I'm gonna learns you.

Dwarves, midgets,

motherfuckin' unicorns.

Them motherfuckers don't wanna

see a black man make it.

Yeah.

Know what I mean?

For sure.

Know what I mean?

And I'll tell you

somethin' else.

Oh, what you missed this

You got to bear witness

Catch a ho and another ho

Merry Christmas

Yes, I smoke sh*t

Straight off the roach clip

I roll sh*t, fold the blunt

at once to approach it

For sure.

Forward motion

Make you sway like the ocean

Forward motion

Make you sway like the ocean

The herb is more than

just a powerful potion

What's the commotion

Word up, young M C.

You're just in time

to help cheer us to victory.

Young MC.

Bart, you know,

I think you keep

getting funnier every day.

You ain't gonna be laughin'

in a minute, motherf***er.

Jamal. Bart, I've decided

since you and Jamal

are my two best athletes,

I want you up against Yale.

Ah!

You can't just

change the line up!

That's against the rules!

What rules? Who cares?

Do you guys care

about the rules?

No.

There you go.

In the far lane, we have Yale.

In the near lane,

we have Harvard.

On your mark, get set--

And they're off!

It's a clean start.

What are you doing,

Hip-Hop Hooray? Paddle!

Paddle like a man!

Shoot the J!

Get diggy with it. Something.

They're blowin' Harvard's ass

out of the water.

Jamal, what is your ass

doin' rowin' a boat?

- You supposed to be in class.

- Who the hell

is that woman in the sky?

- I don't know.

- What's the matter?

- You been smokin'

too much ganja, huh?

- She's huge!

I guess you might as well

come back home and live with me.

- Oh, hell, no!

- Did you cuss at me?

Row, motherf***er, row!

Yes, Dean Cain.

Am I to believe this is correct?

Jamal and Silas

have gotten all A's?

I'll call you back.

How you doin', Dean?

How you doin'? How you been?

I see you're

checkin' out my gear, eh?

- Pretty tight, right?

- Actually, it's rather baggy.

No, man.

It's fat, dope, cool.

It's BUFU, man.

Bill, what has happened to you?

Sit down and take off those glasses.

All righty.

Tell me,

how is Jamal doing?

Oh, fine.

He's coming along.

Now, listen,

Jamie's father is having

an upcoming election,

and it won't look good

if she's involved with someone

from the lower class.

Isn't Jamie a freshman?

All right.

So you want me to tell Jamal

to stop seeing Jamie.

Well, I could that,

but he'll tell me, Hey, man--

F*** you.

F*** you! F*** you!

Point well taken.

I need you

to help me get proof...

that Jamal

is diddling Jamie.

Oh, I see now, yes.

It's all good, yeah.

I'll go holler at him, son.

Oh, yeah.

Bill, did you

just call me son?

Hmm?

Word.

Word?

Stroke, smoke.

Stroke, smoke.

Good.

Stroke, smoke.

Stroke, smoke.

Stroke, smoke.

Hey, Dean Cain think

he can kick me out

the school that easy?

- He got another thing comin'.

- What an a**hole.

Hey, Coach, thanks a lot, man.

I owe you.

Ooh!

Listen, Jamie.

Me and you cannot see

each other no more.

No more datin',

no more foolin' around.

None of that.

It stop. That's it.

Yes, it's probably better

If we stop seeing each other...

for the sake of

my father's campaign.

If he lost the election

and it was my fault,

gosh, golly,

that would be so hard on me.

I don't think I could

live with myself.

Look, baby, maybe it would be

better if you went to school

somewhere down south.

I think you should

go down south first.

This guy's a real a**hole.

I cant.

I cant do it, all right?

Bring your ass over here!

We got work to do before

Dean D*ckhead gets back.

Please!

Come on!

Aren't you worried about

getting kicked out?

For this? He ain't gonna

never find out. Relax.

What happened to bird?

Crazy shitting everywhere?

Crazy sh*t, all right,

and it will be everywhere.

- With that, they just won't sh*t.

- Yeah.

They're gonna blow up.

And, as for you two,

ever since

you arrived on this campus,

there's been several mishaps.

Now my instincts tell me it's you,

but I can't prove it-- not yet.

But I know if

I give you enough time,

pretty soon

you're going to slip up,

and then I'll be able to send you back

to your miserable existence.

What the hell

Are you wearing?

- BUFU!

- BUFU?

Buy us, f*** you!

Get out!

Out! Out! Out! Out!

Buy us, f*** you.

If the chancellor throwin'

a Halloween party,

wait till Harvard

see our Halloween party!

Yeah, but if Dean Cain

find out about this sh*t,

he gonna be mad

What the f*** is he gonna do?

We've got the Ivory.

We're gettin' straight A's.

We've got this motherf***er

locked up.

They look like they got money.

Oh, he kinda cute.

Girl, we gonna get paid!

Ooh, how you doin'?

For real!

End-table ass!

Hella Back!

Where the party at?

We're tryin' to get a party on.

We havin' a party--

costume party

at the Lovell House.

Please bring your ass

and titties along with you.

- We want all the ho's

out here to come.

- Did you just call us ho's?

- I meant that in a good way.

- Oh, okay.

Bring all your horny friends.

There you go. Just bring all the ho's.

Y'all gonna pay us, right?

- I don't hear nothin'.

- Yeah, we got dough.

Yeah, we got dough.

If not, our best friends got dough.

And if not,

they best friends got dough.

Yeah, we down with that.

Ballers and stuff gonna be there?

Ass, titties, ballers.

Go, girl, go!

We gonna be there.

All right!

Popcorn player.

I got one more delivery

to make.

Guess who used to be black.

Dean Cain.

But he is black.

Like a polar bear,

but I got a recipe...

that'll inject some ghetto

back in his ass.

Got some more beer.

What did you do to yourself?

Oh, oh, the Fox Club.

They put me in a shopping cart

and shoved me down a hill.

Thank God I fell out

before I hit the freeway.

What the f*** you doin'?

Put the milk back! You're not

supposed to steal from us!

Why are you always taking

violent tones with people?

Man, shut up

before I kick your ass.

As human beings, we should

be able to talk this out,

not resort to violence.

How you gonna talk

when you shuttin' up?

Fine! Fine!

You want some violence?

You want a piece of this?

Come on! I'll show you

some violence! Come on!

Rate this script:2.0 / 1 vote