How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town Page #9

How do you do that?

Your tongue, it's like

an Olympic athlete.

I'm gonna give you

this ice cream on a cone.

And what flavor am I?

Tiger tale.

No, tiger tale is disgusting.

Do my lady bits

taste like black licorice?

I love black licorice.

Oh, god.

Cassie.

Oh my god, I'm so glad

you came back.

There's so much stuff

I wanna say about last night,

I shouldn't have... okay...

- If you wanna talk first,

that's fine, too. -F*** you.

God, I've been wanting

to do that for so long.

I mean, if this is part of some

sort of, uh, big-city foreplay

I'm... you're gonna have

to walk me through.

There's a musk.

So, have you f***ed anyone, yet?

- No.

- Okay.

Well, where should we do this?

Do what?

The sex.

We're going to bang.

That's okay.

I'm offering you

farm-fresh, free range,

grade a p*ssy here.

Yeah, you don't have to do that.

I'm fine.

Fine? What... what is this?

What is this?

What's your deal?

Are you not attracted to me?

You're okay.

I'm sorry, what sort of bar

are we comparing me to,

porn stars?

- Mostly, yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

I hate to tell you this,

sweetie, but,

those women

aren't actually real.

What's so real about you?

That's it.

It's on.

- Oh, f***. This is so nice.

- This is just so nice. -Oh, I'm not

gonna make it, I'm not gonna make it.

- Not gonna make it. -Okay.

Okay, 218 x 4 million.

What?

I don't understand that.

- Just focus. Add.

- Focus on what?

You know what

my dad used to say,

"life gives you lemons,

you make lemonade."

Absolutely, bro.

A whole jug of it.

- So, that's that, then.

- Yeah, that's that.

...That's... what's what?

Let's make some lemonade.

Yeah, absolutely. Sure.

So,

what... what's happening?

If you got a hole,

and you're not using it...

- Does that hurt?

- The piercing, no.

It's good.

You sure it doesn't hurt?

- Mm-hmm. Whoa!

- Oh, ah!

- Can we just play video games now?

- Yeah, absolutely, we can.

How is it?

Well, the stinging has subsided,

so that's something.

I'm sorry.

I just really had to hurt you.

Oh.

Well, mission accomplished.

Do you know why I was afraid

to come back here?

Because I didn't want

to see you happy.

Well, you sure fixed your wish

with that one.

What about you?

Are you happy?

I'm tired.

All that stuff I said last night

about forgiving you,

that was shitty.

It's not your fault

that I married Heather,

or I stayed in town,

it's got nothing to do with you.

I'm the reason

that nothing happened

between us.

I guess I should be

asking you for forgiveness.

So...

I'm sorry.

That's what I was gonna say

before you...

Slapped me in the face

and kneed me in the balls.

I'm sorry, for, um...

All of it.

How's your balls?

Mmm.

Still intact, I guess.

It's not like I'm gonna

be using them for anything.

Ever.

Can I see?

It's not really my best feature.

Oh.

You know, it doesn't feel

that useless to me.

Cassie, I...

Yeah?

Did you get some lube?

All I could find

was some apple butter.

Yeah, sure, fine.

F*** it. Whatever.

...We don't have to do this.

No, we're gonna do this,

come on, come on.

- Let's just do this, all right?

- Yup. Here we go.

Oh, whoa, hey,

what are you doing there,

- captain?

- You need to be erect.

I can get myself erect,

thank you very much.

- Be my guest. Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, watch this.

Geez.

Oh, look at that.

...Oh, f***.

Uh, Auschwitz.

Uh, uh, Dachau, dacha...

- Uh, bergen-belsen. Uh, terezin.

Uh... -wait, what?

- What are you saying? What?

- Those are

...concentration camps.

From the holocaust.

Why? Is that too dark?

Too much?

- Yeah, it's a little much.

- Okay.

What is the appeal, here?

I mean, you just die and then

you do it all over again.

Yeah.

That's what I like about it.

When Mario dies,

he doesn't rage against

the world,

he just picks himself up,

goes back to the start

and tries again,

until he figures out

how to save the Princess.

Seth?

What's your plan?

I mean, you can't really just

stay in your mother's basement

and play video games

for the rest of your life.

What other life am I gonna have?

I'm the town loser.

Well, to the town, yeah.

But, who are you to you?

I mean, they all see Clark Kent

but...

I'm pretty sure

there's a Kal-El

hiding in there somewhere.

I'm ready

to have sex with you now.

It's not so squishy this time.

Yeah.

Adam?

Yes?

Adam Mitchell?

Uh-huh?

I think of you fondly.

I am...

Quite fond of you as well.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, thank you.

Don't mention it.

Okay.

Okay, you just...

You're over thinking it.

Just do it.

I just don't want to hurt you.

You won't.

Stop being such a f***ing p*ssy.

Look, this is new for me.

All right, I gotta need

some positive reinforcement.

Look, I'm sorry.

Would you please f*** my bum

with your beautiful,

manly penis?

- Hmm?

- Okay.

- Good. All right. Okay, here we go.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- There you go.

Oh.

Oh.

...Oh, oh.

Okay.

Ooh.

...Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

- F***!

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, keep going, Chester.

- Oh, I'm going to go.

- Chester, keep going.

- Keep going!

- Oh!

Oh.

- Oh.

- Oh, yeah, boy.

- Thank you.

- Over here.

Fill me with baby juice.

- Whoo!

- Do it!

- Do you wanna flip around,

or something? -What?

Sorta go where like

we can't look at each other,

just to be fun,

just to switch it up.

- No, no, no. This is perfect.

- Okay.

Just like that.

- Yeah.

- Oh, my god.

- Yeah.

- What are you doing?

- Adam?

- Hmm?

- Hey.

- Hmm?

Look at me.

Everybody looks weird

when they come.

- Just look weird with me.

Okay? -Okay.

- Chester?

- Yeah?

Please don't put your penis

inside of anybody else.

Can we play video games now?

- Yeah, let's play video games now.

- Okay.

That, um...

That went a lot better

then in high school.

Yeah.

And nobody had to run

down the street

without any clothes on.

Yeah.

It's okay.

I'm over it.

Adam?

Adam, everyone can see you.

What are you doing?

Something I should have done

12 years ago.

- Come on.

- Whoo! It's so cold.

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