How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town Page #8

- Are they Japanese?

Sure, yeah. Yeah, Japanese

girls, yeah, totally.

- Chinese girls.

- No.

- Okay.

- No Chinese.

Yeah, okay,

no, no Chinese girls.

- Hey.

- Bruce.

So, you still wanna

do this thing?

Great okay, cool.

Maybe, maybe lose the pajamas,

get more cleavage,

like, sexy, cleavage.

Like, right now.

Hi, so I think we found a way

to keep the orgy going.

- I don't know.

Vintage vinyl, all sale's final.

This is Chester.

It's back on.

Seth's place.

- Tonight.

- Ding-dong.

Ding, ding, I'll be there.

Good afternoon, mayor.

Nice to see you, Heather.

So, there's no delicate way

to put this,

so I'm just gonna

come right out with it.

We're having an orgy

this evening,

and we could use some

additional pensises,

if you would care to attend?

Oh, absolutely.

Do you guys have

your own anal beads, or...

Is this more

of a blowjab kind of thing?

So, where shall

we fornicate, Bruce?

Yeah!

- Cocktail?

- No, no thanks.

Boys?

There's my guy.

- Hey

- hey.

I'm so glad

that you could make it.

I'm really glad I could come.

I'm even happier when you do.

...Are you okay?

- Got a little...

- Yeah, I'm good.

Why is my living room

like a whore dungeon?

What are you guys doing

with my mom's pashminas?

- She loves those.

- For the orgy.

What orgy?

This is a party.

Yeah, yeah, it's a party.

It's a party

for your penis, bro.

I don't want a penis party

for my penis.

I want a party party for me.

Hey, where you going?

I'm gonna go play

some video games.

Does anybody

want to play with me?

No, maybe later, man.

Maybe later.

So, do you wanna go somewhere?

It doesn't bother me at all

that you ejaculated quickly.

That is a sign of a man who

has his priorities straight.

But there is

something else that...

Why don't you finish that drink?

- For you...

- Yeah?

That might tickle

your fantasy...

Oh, and there it is. Okay.

Polly, can I...

can I talk to you, please?

Guess what? I want you to know that

I think that you're kind of...

We're sort of in the middle

of something here, sport.

Uh, yeah, give me a second,

okay, Spencer?

I just want you to know that

I think you're really beautiful.

And that I just... I think you're

f***ing amazing.

I... I screwed up

the other night, okay?

It's fine.

You know what, Chester,

it was, it really was nothing.

No. It's not fine. Okay,

and it wasn't nothing.

And you weren't bored.

This is worth doing.

Yeah? How do you know?

'Cause I'm scared shitless.

Whoa, I declare

this orgy officially...

Begun! Yeah!

- Adam. -Do you know

where Cassie is?

- No.

- I think she left town.

- Without saying, goodbye?

- Wouldn't she?

B*tch.

Guess you don't

want to go to Seth's either?

What at... I was at Seth's.

What do you think?

Really?

Heather was the one

that told me...

How do you not know about this?

I want you inside

of me right now.

- Come here.

- Things are progressing nicely.

Oh, this is my cue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What, yeah,

take this off. Yeah, just,

yeah, yeah, whatever.

Yeah, now we're better.

Yeah.

Come on, guys. Come on, let's

ease up on the kissing.

Come on, guys,

let's use our mouths

for the greater good here.

Bruce.

Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

- Bruce!

What? What?

It's a goddamn f***ing orgy.

If you've got a hole and you're not

using it, then you're being selfish.

Clearly, they're

having a moment.

Well if they're having

a f***ing moment,

then they should take this f***ing

romantic moment to a room.

Yeah, come on.

Room. Room.

No, no, I didn't mean it.

I didn't actually...

I was just just saying it!

I was just just saying it,

like, in the heat of the moment.

It wasn't sexy... ow, f***!

- Hello?

- Hey.

You left without

saying, "goodbye"?

F*** you, Judas.

Are you kidding?

I saved you.

From losing your virginity

to f***ing Bruce.

You would really, really

want to hold that against me?

I trusted you with that.

You know how hard it is

for me to trust people?

Yeah, sorry. You should

just get the f*** over it.

- When did you leave?

- Just now.

Okay, come back.

I can't. I'm on the lam.

The book people

are gonna come after me.

My career's over, life's over...

why don't you just write a book?

Yeah, what am I supposed

to write about?

A... a virgin who plans

an orgy for a bunch of prudes?

And then out myself

to the entire world

in the process?

That's not bad, actually.

You said your careers

over anyway, so it saves you

from having to remember

a bunch of bullshit lies

all the time.

These people don't want me here.

Adam just came looking for you.

Yeah, I saw him last night.

You did? So, you know

about him and Heather?

What about him and Heather?

Stop the orgy!

Heather?

- Do you have something

you want to say? -No.

How nice of you to join us.

Are you gonna tell

them, or should I?

What's going on, here?

My money's on gonorrhea.

Gentlemen, the uh,

the only reason

that Heather

wants to sleep with you,

the only reason that this whole thing

is happening in the first place,

is because Heather Murray,

is trying to get pregnant.

And she doesn't want your DNA in the mix.

Yeah, I get that.

No, not... that's not

what I'm saying.

First of all, I have dead

sperm, apparently, okay?

That's not... the point is,

this whole thing

is based on a lie.

All right?

And Cassie who we slut-shamed

out of town years ago,

now, she's leaving town

again because she's a virgin?

Huh? How does

that make sense?

And, and what, we're doing this

to prove that we're not prudes?

You know what?

I'm a prude, okay? I am.

I don't... I don't wanna

have sex in front of anybody.

I want it to be me

and one other person.

Nobody watching,

no... no toys, no lubes.

Just vanilla.

That's me, I'm vanilla.

As for the rest of you...

I mean I don't even know

how you could have sex

in front of... look at this.

You know how much confidence it takes to

lay naked like that on somebody's couch?

- You ever been in this house before?

- Yeah, never.

And yet it's like he lives here.

Good for you. But you know what?

Be yourself, all right?

Everybody just be

themselves and be honest.

Is this all true, Heather?

You want us to impregnate you?

Nobody ever has to know.

All I've ever wanted

was to be a mother.

And they say that it takes

a village to raise a child...

- I'm down with it, shh-sh...

- Me too.

Would we have to help

raise the kid?

No I just need your sperm.

Don't care.

Do that you gotta do.

But I'm... I'm out.

- So, who's first?

- Me.

- How about you go third?

- What? Oh, come on!

Gus is gonna go before me?

You don't want to have

a Samoan baby.

How is it that no one

in this town knows what I am?

- I'm Indian.

- No, you're not.

Dot, not feather.

Actually, you people make

really beautiful mixed babies.

- I'm first.

- Okay.

Oh, okay.

All right, yes.

Here we go, let's do this.

Let's do this, here we go...

- what? -Nothing, I thought

you'd be smaller.

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