Huckleberry Finn Page #6

downright dishonest.

Well, your stealin'

yourself from Miss

Watson, ain't you?

Now stealin' is stealing, Jim.

Well, there is stealin'

and there is stealin'.

But this here is stealin'.

The King was right

about one thing.

Nobody's lookin' at you

like you're a runaway slave

no more. Now are they?

Besides, only a couple

of days from Cairo.

Cairo.

(WHISTLES)

Why, that...

Money in the bank.

Here, you hammer up

the rest of the posters.

I'm gonna do a little

advance promoting.

God rest ye merry gentlemen,

good tidings to you all.

One and all, good tidings.

Hip, hip, hip, hip

and all that rot.

Whiskey, your best.

You must be the Reverend Wilks

all the way from England.

My condolences.

From England, rather,

but Reverend Wilks.

Uh, condolences?

Condolences for what?

Your brother just died.

That is if you was the

Reverend Mr. Wilks,

your brother just died,

leaving all that money.

Money?

Children! Forget the signs.

Forget the posters!

What?

Gentlemen, we are about to

raise the curtain on the

most lucrative engagement

of our careers.

You might even say we

were born for these roles.

We're not gonna perform

here in Barrytown.

The stage awaits a few

miles downriver in

Jackson's Landing. Come on.

Now remember, Bilgey,

you're deaf and dumb.

Yes, yes, King.

(SHUSHING)

Fine. And you?

Rather, I say.

Very good. And that's all

you say, so remember it.

Huckleberry, I have

a bad feeling about it.

And this time,

they've gone too far!

Don't worry. Everything's

gonna be just fine.

If anybody comes nosin'

around here, you just get in

there and moan and groan.

Let me hear you.

(MOANING)

(GROANING)

Jim, this is the last time.

Soon as I shuck these two,

I'm gonna cut right

back to here and we'll

be in Cairo tomorrow.

All right, Huckey, I'll be

waitin' for you. Now you be

careful now, you hear?

I won't be long,

Jim, I promise.

KING:
Percival,

let's get going.

Goodbye, Jim.

Come along, dear boy.

Quick, let's get going.

Jackson's Landing is

just around the point.

You row, Bilgey.

Farewell, fellow voyagers.

Parting is such sweet sorrow,

that I know that the good

Lord in his kindness,

will guide your ship

up the river of life.

Bless you, bless you,

bless you.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Bless you, bless you,

bless you, bless you.

My poor afflicted

brother here

is expressing our

profound gratitude

for our safe arrival in

this haven of the New

World after our tedious

pilgrimage all the

way from England.

Sheffield, England? Amen.

Bless you, bless you,

bless you.

Howdy do, howdy do. Hello,

hello. Howdy do. Bless you.

Can any of you kind

people tell us where

Mr. Peter Wilks lives?

MAN:
I'm sorry, sir.

(SHIP HORN BLOWING)

The best we can do is tell

you where he used to live

as of yesterday morning.

You mean,

our poor brother is gone?

(CRYING)

If only we had a

chance to see him.

It's too much to bear.

(SHIP HORN BLOWING)

(SOBBING)

Reverend Wilks?

Yes, alas it is I.

My name is Lot Hovey.

Deacon Lot Hovey!

Oh, how often has

Peter written of you

and your dear wife.

Margaret.

Margaret!

Of course, dear Margaret.

And what of my

nieces, poor darlings?

What of them?

I'd be honored to

take you to them.

Lead on, Deacon, lead on.

Your uncles are here.

Mary Jane, Susan, we are here.

Poor child.

There, there, dear girl.

There. Uncle is here.

Oh, Uncle.

Don't cry.

Yes, yes. Come to

uncle, dear, that's it.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, Uncle.

That's it. Yes, uncle here.

Don't cry. Come,

come. Don't cry.

(WOMEN CRYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

Oh, yes. Well, Brother

William was just

singing a fitting hymn

for this solemn occasion.

Oh, Reverend Wilks,

could we hear it?

ALL:
Yes, Yes. Yes.

Oh, please. Please.

We want to sing.

Please, please.

Please, Reverend, please.

Well, well, all right.

All right.

Gentle, little souls.

Into His hands,

into His hands

Someday we must come

Someday we must come

Into His wonderful,

wonderful hands

Into His heavenly,

heavenly hands

Into His wonderful,

heavenly hands

Someday we must come,

someday we must come

Into His hands,

into His hands

Someday we must come,

someday we must come

Into His wonderful,

wonderful hands

Into His heavenly,

heavenly hands

Into His heavenly,

heavenly hands

Into His wonderful,

heavenly hands

Into His heavenly,

heavenly hands

Into His wonderful,

heavenly hands

Someday we must come,

someday we must come

Someday

We must

Come

Amen

So, when we received

your dear father's letter,

we departed our parish,

haste post haste,

taking our young ward

Percival here with us.

Ah, he's such an aid and

comfort to us on our journey.

(SLURPING)

(CONTINUES SLURPING)

Oh, dear, the only time I get

to hear him is when he eating.

(BURPS)

But our main concern

is for you dear children.

Left all alone.

Oh!

Uncle Harvey.

Hmm?

We almost forgot.

There's a letter.

Father's last wishes.

He wanted us to give

it to you immediately

upon your arrival.

But with...

Completely understandable,

my dear.

Go fetch the letter!

Your dear father's last

wishes must be carried

out forthwith down here.

Because he would not

be happy up there

knowing that things weren't

going right down here.

(GASPS)

You're very considerate,

Uncle Harvey.

My calling. Besides, your dear

uncles want to unburden you

of all concerns.

God rest his generous soul.

Oh, I'm explaining

to Brother William that

your dear father has willed

this house and

its furnishings,

plus $3,000 in gold

to you his dear daughters

and he has willed

the tannery worth $7,000

and another $3,000 in gold to

poor afflicted

William and me.

The gold is hidden in

two sacks under some

bricks in the cellar.

William!

Has just expressed a sentiment

with which I heartily concur.

We cannot accept

one shilling of your dear

father's beneficence.

Oh, no, it's all for you.

It certainly is for you.

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, it's all

yours, dear nieces.

But we will go down in

the cellar and fetch it

to protect it for you.

So that he may

rest cold but joyful.

Those dear, good souls.

Rather!

(EXCLAIMS) Be careful.

You idiot!

(SHUSHING)

You look over there.

I'll look down here.

(GRUNTING)

Here, here, here.

These here bricks look loose.

Oh, forget it.

Golly dang.

It sure beats

The Royal None Such

all howdy, don't it?

Shut up, you idiot,

this is only the first act.

We must play it till

the final curtain.

This house alone

will bring $10,000

not countin' furnishing.

Yeah, yeah.

Then there's the tannery.

Yeah, yeah.

And this $6,000.

Where's the other one?

Here, here.

There it is.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

By the time this play's

over you and I will

be gentlemen of leisure.

It's providence,

Bilgey, providence.

Being relatives to rich dead

men and representatives

of foreign heirs.

There's the line for us.

No more small time

bilkin' hayseeds.

We found our calling.

This time tomorrow,

we will be rich.

Far away from here.

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