Hud Page #3

And take a chance on starting

an epidemic in the entire country?

This whole country is run on epidemics.

Where've you been?

Epidemics of big business price fixing,

crooked TV shows,

income-tax finagling,

souped-up expense accounts.

How many honest men you know?

Take the sinners from the saints,

you're lucky to get Lincoln.

I say let's put our bread into

some of that gravy while it is still hot.

You're an unprincipled man, Hud.

Don't let that fuss you.

You've got enough for both of us.

This afternoon's been a regular b*tch.

- You out of poop?

- Just having a breather.

Go back to the ranch and grab a nap.

No, I'll hold up my end of it.

Yeah, I guess you would.

Granddad.

I found your longhorns near Idiot Ridge.

Government's gonna have a hard time

trying to inspect 'em.

Those big horns'll

never go through a chute.

There ain't many left, are there?

No, they're dying out.

I just keep 'em for old times' sake,

to remind me of how things was.

Everything we had come from their

hides:
Our furniture, our ropes,

our clothes, our hats.

Granddad, let's turn 'em loose.

No, Lon, that wouldn't be the thing to do.

They gotta go with the rest.

- Granddad.

- Oh, why, thank you, Lon.

I shouldn't have brought you here

after the day you put in.

If the picture's any good,

I'll wake up, don't you worry.

Looks like you're the only one who ain't

got someone's knee to pinch.

Oh, I think I can stand it.

You wouldn't think they'd pay 65 cents

to come here and do it.

They can go up in the hayloft

for nothing.

Come on, you miners, '49ers,

let's all join in and sing that old favourite,

Clementine.

Just follow the bouncing ball.

You gonna get your mouth around that?

Gonna try.

- Hi, Hud.

- How are you?

- Is that Truman Peters' wife with Hud?

- I think so.

- Want me to call him over?

- No, just leave him.

Got a half a buck?

Hey, come on back.

You gonna give me the change?

Hey, hey,

let's make a party out of this.

This not-too-natural blonde

here is Mrs Truman Peters.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

Wild Horse Homer Bannon

as he used to be known.

And this gangly youth over there

is my nephew, Lon.

You may have just noticed,

my daddy hasn't asked us to sit down.

He doesn't want to socialise with me.

He's fussy about

the company he keeps.

You're a married woman, Lily.

That doesn't go down well with him.

He's a man of high principles.

Doesn't believe in any loose living at all.

Isn't that right?

- Granddad.

- Homer, you OK?

Get me... Get me home, boy.

Roll down that window a little, will you?

That's good. Place back there

seemed a little short of air.

Maybe you just got too much sun today.

Well, whatever.

No need to pull such a long face about it.

I feel better now.

When we get home,

I'm going to fix you some Sal Hepatica.

Yeah, that'll settle me right down.

He dropped right off.

He's beginning to look kind of worn out,

isn't he?

Sometimes I forget how old he is.

- Guess I just don't want to think about it.

- It's time you started.

I know he's gonna die some day.

I know that much.

He is.

Makes me feel like somebody dumped

me into a cold river.

Happens to everybody:

Horses, dogs, men.

Nobody gets out of life alive.

- I'll give you a hand upstairs.

- Lon'll take care of me.

Suit yourself.

Goodnight, Hud.

Thanks for the game, boys. You can

have another shot at me next pay-day.

- Got a cigarette?

- Yeah.

Don't keep me on the porch

like I'm selling something.

All right, come on in.

- They're a little squashed.

- It's all right. They'll do.

- I see you got things fixed up some.

- I try.

Looks pretty good,

except your sweet potato's got the blight.

I can't seem to get one started.

They need love and care like all of us.

I'll keep it in mind.

Could I have a match?

Well, what have we got here?

"Jiffy Portable Hairdryer."

"Triple screen."

Automatic toaster.

You been rustlin'?

I go in for those prize contests.

"How Shinette Shampoo

changed my life," in 20 words.

They give free trips to Europe.

I end up with the fountain pens

and the binoculars.

Won me a turkey raffle once,

but it was fixed.

I got friendly with one of them girls

picking the numbers.

It figures.

How much you

take the boys for tonight?

Twenty dollars and some change.

- You're a dangerous woman.

- I'm a good poker player.

You're a good housekeeper.

You're a good cook.

You're a good laundress.

- What else are you good at?

- At taking care of myself.

Shouldn't have to,

a woman looks like you.

That's what my ex-husband

used to tell me,

before he took my wallet,

my gasoline credit card

and left me stranded

in a motel in Albuquerque.

What did you do to make him take to

the hills? Wear your curlers to bed?

Ed's a gambler.

He's probably up at Vegas or Reno,

dealing at night,

losing it all back in the daytime.

Man like that sounds

no better than a heel.

Aren't you all?

Don't go shooting all the dogs

'cause one's got fleas.

I was married to Ed for six years.

Only thing he was ever good for

was scratching my back.

- Still got that itch?

- Off and on.

Let me know when it's bothering you.

We're injecting these cows and horses

with specimens taken from your herd.

In three to six days, we should

know what we want to know.

Move on in there! Get in that chute!

You all right, Lon?

She kicked you into the fence.

You skint your head a little.

Boy, you caught a lick.

Back to work.

Boys'll be on you for a week, if you quit.

No need to rush him. You all right, Lon?

- You've had it, Fantan.

- Get him to bed.

All right, Jack, back to work.

All this time I thought you was skinny.

You weigh a ton.

I can't seem to get my head on straight.

- I think I'm gonna lose my breakfast.

- Not over me. Hold your fire!

- Sugar! You're white as a sheet.

- Sure, you're getting flour all over me.

- What happened?

- A cow cuddled up to him.

- Shouldn't a doctor look at him?

- Pay five bucks for aspirin? He'll mend.

That's it. I draw the line at bedpans.

Thanks, Hud.

Gold-brick for the rest of the day,

just don't stretch it into two.

Here, let's get those boots off.

Cold lemonade.

Here. Oh, come on,

they're only lemon seeds.

That better?

You ought to doze off now.

Gee, Alma, you're cool.

You smell of lemon.

- Alma?

- What is it, sugar?

- You're really beautiful.

- Oh, sure I am.

You're one of the best people

there ever was. You're good to me.

- In fact, you're good, period.

- You be good, too. Get some sleep.

Morning, Granddad.

- How are you today, Lonnie?

- Good. Real good.

Have I been sawing wood up there!

I slept round the clock.

I feel almost like working.

What have you got for me?

Patch a little fence?

Pull up some weeds?

Work a few calves?

I don't guess we'll do anything much.

No point wasting work

until I find out about my cattle.

We'll just roll over and play dead

and let 'em shovel dirt in our faces.

If my cattle don't get a clean bill

of health, we are just about dead.

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