Hud Page #4

Dead broke.

We've bred this beef all our

lives to get the best stock in the country.

The government will end up paying

four bits on the dollar.

- Poor but honest. That's us.

- We ain't sure. We'll just have to wait.

Don't get sores on your butt doing it.

I could do without that noise, Lon.

Go stretch your legs a little, will you?

Where's that bottle? I had a bottle

of Jack Daniel's in that cupboard.

- You drank it.

- When?

Instead of dinner, Wednesday night.

Don't remember.

If you think I drunk it,

I only drink Tokay wine.

And I bet you keep your little finger

crooked while you're doing it.

Go stick your head in the water

trough and sober up for lunch.

Don't you find me in control of myself?

- I'd hate to see you walk a straight line.

- That's easy.

I don't like sudden passes.

We'll ease into it, then. There's another

one coming up on your right.

Don't you ever ask?

Only question I ever ask is, "What time's

your husband coming home?"

What's keeping you?

You're over the age of consent.

- Way over.

- Let's untie our shoelaces.

I've been asked

with a little more finesse in my time.

Yeah.

I wouldn't want to come on crude.

No, ma'am.

I'll bring you a 2lb box of candy,

maybe some perfume.

How about some coloured beads

and wampum?

- Whatever it takes to make you trade.

- No, thanks.

I've done my time with one cold-blooded

bastard. I'm not looking for another.

It's too late. You already found him.

You hardly touched your plate.

Nothing to do with your cooking.

I just ain't hungry.

- Anything from the vets?

- No, they're taking their time.

I ain't gonna sit around here and stew.

The Kiwanis are waiting.

- Gonna be at that pig scramble?

- Yeah.

See if I can make the Bannons

look good for a change.

You honchos want to come,

there's room in the cheering section.

They're letting ladies in free tonight.

You just might qualify.

That's the first time Hud asked me to go

any place. I wonder why he did.

Lonesome, I imagine.

Trying to scare up a little company.

Lonesome?

He can get more women than anybody.

That ain't necessarily much and

it ain't necessarily company.

Women just like to be around

something dangerous part of the time.

Even Hud can get lonesome

once in a while.

Well, I wouldn't mind watching him

chase those squealers.

- Then we'll go on in.

- I'll stay home. I don't like pigs.

Let's give these kids a hand.

Applaud for the kid you liked the best.

That's it, ladies and gentlemen,

looks like number ten won it.

You've seen one kind of twisting,

you're about to see another.

We've got ten men

gonna tie themselves in knots

trying to catch the fastest pigs

you've ever seen.

The first to catch his pig

and bring it here is the winner.

If you boys will come on in,

we'll get this started. Come on.

- You got the pigs ready?

- You bet.

Come on, let's go then.

You're outside there.

Wag, pull your hat off. Let's go.

When I say three we'll go.

One, two, three, go!

It looks like we got a winner,

Hud Bannon.

Hud, that pig looks

about as dirty as you do.

Towel?

Thank you for turning out.

We hope you enjoyed yourselves.

We look forward to seeing you

next year at the contest.

Wish I could still get around

the way you do.

You sure churn up that dust.

I want to kick up more before

the night's over. Anybody interested?

That's enough excitement for me,

I guess.

I'll be getting back. Lon?

It's still kinda early.

I might stick around with Hud for a while.

I'll leave the door open for you.

Hitch up your pants. I'll get cleaned up,

then I'll buy you a drink.

- Want to put a little kick in that?

- Sure. OK.

Come on, I can handle it.

Whoa! Whoa!

- Pretty girl.

- Don't let me cramp you.

- I wouldn't make any move at her.

- Why not? You ain't nailed down.

- That's a woman and a half.

- You're a pretty good-looking kid.

Damp down that cowlick

and button your collar,

you might just make out.

I wouldn't mind driving her

the long way home.

Yeah, you ought to take a crack at that.

Get all the good you can out of 17,

'cause it sure wears out in a hurry.

Trouble is, I've got to like a girl a lot

before I can work up to anything.

- I mean like her as a person.

- You're a regular idealist.

- What's wrong with that?

- I don't know. I ain't never tried it.

- I suppose you think I'm a jerk.

- What do you care what I think?

This is probably gonna hand you

a big laugh... but I do.

You have another little drink.

And I'll have another little drink.

Then maybe we can work up

some real family feeling here.

Well, I think I'll shove some change

in that juke.

- Hi.

- What are you gawking at?

- I ain't gawking.

- I don't like fresh kids.

- Nobody's getting fresh.

- I'll take you out and loosen your teeth.

Are you having words

with this youngster?

- I'm about to put him into the hospital.

- Is that so?

- Has he been bothering you?

- He ain't bothering me.

It's her he's bothering.

You didn't offer him any

encouragement, young lady?

- No.

- That's funny.

I was sitting there

and I got a little encouraged.

- Maybe it's the way you move.

- All right, I'll take you instead.

I don't want to be hoggish.

Lon, you want a piece?

That's one hell of a night!

I could do that about six times a week.

- You don't win them all, you know?

- I would if you were backing me.

That would make quite a combination.

Nobody'd ever mess with the Bannons.

Felt like old times there for a while.

- Your daddy and I used to take them on.

- He must've been a good old boy.

What, Norman? Yeah.

He used to leave his loose change out

when I was a kid so I could swipe some.

Let me take a girl from him once in a

while like I'd done it on my own.

He was bigger than you

and had a bigger wallet, but I tell you,

when you ain't being a pain,

you remind me of him.

- I do?

- Yeah.

Then how come

we don't hit it off so good?

I got short arms.

Never been anybody like old Norman.

Never will be.

He was one way-out boy.

Claimed he could hear the grass grow.

He got me to go to his pasture

one night to listen.

After three or four hours nipping away at

that bottle to keep the dew off,

I swore I could hear it, too.

That's the night I racked up the car.

Piled up on Samson Creek Bridge.

He died in half an hour.

I didn't even have a mark on me.

I wonder if your daddy's hearing the

grass now, growing up over his grave.

That story ought to cool you off some.

It doesn't.

Fantan, either you're soft-hearted

or soft-headed. I don't know which.

Hey, Granddad.

He's got you drunk.

What else has he given you a taste for?

- All we had was a couple of drinks.

- Don't remember you being a teetotaller.

I drink. I don't object

to his having whiskey.

- Something's eating away at your liver.

- You, Hud. Like always.

- What are you climbing on Hud for?

- You think a lot of Hud?

You think he's a real man?

You're being took in.

Listen to him. He's my daddy, he knows.

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