Human Page #4

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Because to live together,

you must love yourself,

love your wife,

your children,

big and small.

You must love your family,

your parents.

My parents are still alive.

You must love

all human beings

for what they are deep down

for only the love of people

can save the world.

No, I never thought about it.

I wouldn't have liked to be a man.

Because men have an easy life.

Too easy.

And easy lives are boring.

It's easy professionally,

maybe even easier to attain

their sentimental prey.

For women,

everything is more difficult.

But there is also the appeal

of attaining your goals

despite the difficulties.

Without question, I prefer

being a woman.

I feel powerless when, say,

a very small woman enters the store,

sees something high up

and says to me:

"If only a man could get that..."

You don't have to be a man.

Jump up and grab it.

You have two hands. Why a man?

Whatever next?

It makes me so angry.

I really don't like it when women...

I hate it

when women are discriminated against.

Today, I feel free.

Because...

I can do lots of things

without rushing.

What's more,

I'm divorced.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

I shouldn't say that, should I?

Sorry.

Do you want to do it again?

Is that OK?

I know I shouldn't laugh about it,

but I feel good, I feel free.

My husband has 2 wives.

He's polygamous, he has 2 wives.

Here, in Senegal,

with polygamy,

some people have 4 wives.

Others have 3, or 2.

But some people only have 1 wife.

It's their choice.

Some even have 6, 7, 8, 9...

as many as 10!

But my husband has 2 wives.

2 wives.

I'm the 1st, the other is the 2nd.

We live in peace.

She's my friend.

She really loves me. And I love her.

Luckily, for us,

polygamy isn't possible for women.

I say "luckily," because if my wife

loved another man besides me,

it'd make things difficult.

It'd be very complicated

because I am extremely jealous.

Extremely jealous.

I couldn't stand

my wife spending the night

in another man's arms

and then spend the next night

with me.

I could never stand that.

So, luckily,

polygamy for women

isn't possible in Burkina Faso.

Because I just couldn't imagine it.

When I went and stayed with my...

wife at her house in San Francisco...

She's not my wife,

but the woman I'm with.

This was about a week

after we started dating.

I woke up in the morning and I said:

"I ask this of you

and this of you and this of you

"and you're hesitating."

The woman I'm with

can't have a list of nos.

It's got to be pretty much all yeses

or we don't have a relationship.

And it took her about a month

after I pointed that out to her

to realize

that these nos could not exist.

And so, that's how very little shitty

my woman is.

She's freakin' very unique,

very amazing.

She gives me...

Like, she was raised

to adore her man.

Like old-school Mexican.

Know when to speak up.

That doesn't mean

you can't tell me something,

that doesn't mean

I don't want guidance.

But in my household,

the man is the man of the house.

At home, on weekends,

I do the cooking.

One day, a friend came to my house.

He said:
"You do the cooking?"

I said:
"Yes."

"Is your wife sick?"

I said:
"No, she's resting."

"What? You do the cooking

"while your wife has a rest?"

"Yes, she needs rest."

He said:

"My wife will never come visit you.

"You'd put ideas in her head.

"When she comes home,

"she'll ask me to cook too."

I said to him:
"You must understand

"that they need to rest."

Anyway, I enjoy

cooking for my family.

I'm in prison,

because I had an abortion.

I couldn't have continued my studies

because I was in a boarding school

and I didn't want to stop my studies.

I'd have stopped for too long,

with the pregnancy,

the birth, breastfeeding,

and I couldn't consider that.

So, I decided to have an abortion.

What pleases me today

is that I'm getting out of prison

tomorrow.

I'll continue my studies

and work.

And maybe one day, I'll have a child.

I'll be just like everyone else.

There is a way out of being abused.

For me, it was tough because

I used to have the worst abuse.

I would have a gun put to my head

and get told to go on my knees

and beg for my life.

And I would do it.

My kids used to be watching.

Or get put out of the house

and have to sleep outside

on the steps.

If I moved from there,

I'd get a hiding.

It was tough,

because I thought it was me.

I was the one

that was doing something wrong

in our marriage.

I talked about my kids,

the most important thing of my life.

I thought,

if I don't move on out of here,

I'm either going to be dead

or my kids are going to be dead.

So, I need to move on.

I need to do something.

I went home that day

and I said to him: "I'm leaving."

Mark got a bit of a shock,

because he didn't realize

that I was leaving.

He said:
"You'll never leave me,

you love me too much."

And I said:
"Well, you know what?

"That's what love is about. Leaving."

I gave him two choices.

I said to him:

"You either go for counseling,

or I leave."

You know what?

Today, he's a better man.

He's never lifted a hand up for me

since the day.

That's about 9 years ago.

So, 9 years ago,

I was still an abused woman.

I am gay.

I've known I've liked girls

ever since I was a little girl.

And I kept it a secret

from my family.

I remember when Ellen DeGeneres,

the TV host, came out,

it was the first time I ever heard

of the word "gay" before.

My parents were talking about it.

I asked my dad:
"Dad, what is gay?"

"It's a girl who likes another girl

and they're going to hell."

And so, I said:
"OK."

I walked straight up to my room,

closed the door

very quietly,

and then,

I bawled my eyes out into my pillow.

And I prayed to God every day:

"Please let me like boys,

please make me straight."

Because I knew I liked girls.

And so, I tried

pretending I liked boys,

but I never did.

And then, I met

to me the love of my life.

And her name is Jen.

Gosh, she was just...

my world changed.

And I didn't really care

about anything else.

I just knew I wanted to be near her.

And that was love to me.

Being a lesbian

is not a choice for me.

It's something that is inside you...

that no one can help.

It's not curable.

It's not a disease actually.

'Cause they always say we're sick.

Our families

even take us to the doctor's,

to the marabout's.

But it just stays there.

I even had to

force myself with guys

to get my granny's approval.

It hurts, 'cause

I had to do stuff

I really, really didn't want to do.

Even though I did that...

I even asked a friend of mine

to pretend as if he's my boyfriend.

But that guy, what he did...

He forced himself to me

and then, he left me with HIV.

And that was in 2003.

I did all that

just to get my granny's approval.

But now

I know

that I don't have to do anything

to please someone else.

My parents were so afraid

I'd remain a homosexual

that when I said I was changing,

they really believed it.

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