Human Nature Page #29

NATHAN:

(uninterested)

So, Mother and Father, how's Godspell

going?

MOTHER:

How did you know we...

The parents look at each other burst out laughing.

MOTHER:

Tell him, Harold.

FATHER:

It's going famously, son, famously!

NATHAN:

(despondent)

I'm glad.

MOTHER:

Harold, ask Nathan what's wrong.

GABRIELLE:

Yes, please, somebody ask him what

is wrong.

NATHAN:

I don't know.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Nathan and Gabrielle are in bed. Nathan stares up at the

ceiling. Finally:

NATHAN:

I want our boy back.

GABRIELLE:

(sadly)

Oui.

NATHAN:

That b*tch. I worked so hard. We

worked so hard, you and I. He would've

made us famous.

GABRIELLE:

We still have you and I.

NATHAN:

I know. And that's great. But it

would be great in a better way, not

a better way but a different way, if

I could find him and bring him back.

GABRIELLE:

Where do we look for little lost

Puff?

NATHAN:

I have some thoughts. I think that

hairy b*tch is somewhere trying to

turn him back into an ape.

GABRIELLE:

That is horrible. Apes are dirty.

No?

NATHAN:

You better believe they're dirty!

And smelly! And messy! And they don't

know their forks from their a**holes!

Nathan, seemingly in the grips of a sudden horrific migraine,

scrunches his face and holds his ears. He relaxes a bit, and

gets out of bed. He walks across the room, pulls on some

pants, and picks up a container called "Stop Buggin' Me,

Sunny."

NATHAN:

I'm going alone. This could be

dangerous.

GABRIELLE:

(pulling covers up

and turning away

from him onto her

side)

Okay, my sweet. Good night.

NATHAN:

A little resistance would be nice,

damn it.

GABRIELLE:

(without opening her

eyes)

Please let me go with you.

NATHAN:

No.

GABRIELLE:

Okay.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CAR - DAY

Nathan is driving along a wooded dirt road. He's in his

immaculate safari suit. He looks tired. He stops the car,

pulls out a gun, and gets out.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS - CONTINUOUS

Nathan gets out of the car and runs into the woods. We follow.

NATHAN:

(yelling)

Aha!

He looks around there is no one there. He sighs and walks

back to his car, pulls out a map and marks an area with a

red X.

CUT TO:

INT. MOTEL - NIGHT

Nathan is in his underwear. He is ironing his safari suit as

he talks on the phone.

NATHAN:

No luck yet, my sweet.

We see an unfolded map on the bed. There are red X's in almost

all the state parks along the east coast.

CUT TO:

EXT. FOREST - EVENING

Lila and puff are having sex again next to a campfire. Now

Lila is wearing the collar, and Puff is giving her well timed

shocks. They giggle and kiss after they finish. Puff sits

up. He holds his stomach and grunts hungrily. Lila grunts

back. She stands and retrieves a sack of berries.

Puff and Lila greedily, gluttonously stuff their faces.

Lila takes some berries and smashes them against Puff's face.

She laughs heartily. He looks annoyed for a second, but then

grabs a handful and squishes them against Lila's face. Pretty

soon they are having a berry war and are covered in purple

stains. They hug each other, out of breath and laughing.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

Lila smiles.

LILA:

It was paradise.

(beat, sadly)

At least for a tiny little while.

CUT TO:

EXT. FOREST - DAY

Lila and Puff lie naked in a tree, lazily soaking up the

midday sun. There is a rustling in the bushes. They both

look up, alert but calm. Nathan, immaculate in his safari

suit, appears in the clearing. He holds a gun.

NATHAN:

Aha! Finally. I've covered almost

the entire seaboard and parts of

eastern Ohio.

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