Human Nature Page #30

LILA:

Ugnh.

PUFF:

Ugnh.

NATHAN:

Oh please, is that as articulate as

you can be after all the time I spent

teaching you? We've discussed

Wittgenstein, for Christ's sake. Not

that you ever had anything very

original or challenging to say on

the subject.

PUFF:

Unn.

NATHAN:

Down from the tree. Both of you.

Keep your hands where I can see them.

Don't want you pulling any weapons

out of your fur.

Nathan laughs heartily, haughtily, at his joke as Lila and

Puff climb down from the tree.

NATHAN:

Look at you two. You both disgust

me.

LILA:

Oook. Oook.

NATHAN:

Shut up!

(to Puff)

I gave you... life. I created you in

my image, Puff. I took you from this

primordial ooze and brought you into

the world of culture and art and

manners. And this is how you repay

me? By heading back to the ooze first

chance you get? I should leave you

here with Lila the ape woman. It

would serve you right, you ungrateful

piece of crap. But I'm not going to.

You're too valuable to me. Totally

selfish of me. You serve my purpose.

But if you had any smarts you would

realize that I serve your purpose as

well. Life is so much more delightful

when lived in a silk suit.

LILA:

Ooka.

NATHAN:

Don't worry, Lila. You can stay. I

don't have any interest in you

anymore.

(to Puff)

C'mon, monkey boy.

Puff looks at Lila. Lila shrugs helplessly. Puff reaches out

to touch her hand.

NATHAN:

Now!

Puff looks at Lila again. She jerks her head in the direction

of Nathan. Puff sighs and moves to Nathan.

Nathan prods Puff, and they head off through the trees.

Suddenly Puff elbows Nathan. Nathan grunts, doubles over.

Puff turns, lunges, and the two wrestle on the ground.

Puff pries the gun from Nathan's hand, and jumps up. Nathan

stands also, backing away. Puff has the gun trained on Nathan.

Lila runs to Puff, stands behind him.

NATHAN:

Puff, put the gun down.

PUFF:

Ounpoo. Ungh.

NATHAN:

Let's be reasonable human beings

here. We're all reasonable human

beings, aren't we?

PUFF:

(jumping up and down

like a chimp)

Unka unka unka unka unka.

NATHAN:

Look, why don't you and Lila stay

here and have your natural life.

I'll just go on my way. You'll never

see me again.

PUFF:

(to Lila, guiltily)

I have to talk. Is that okay?

Lila nods.

PUFF:

(to Nathan)

You did create me in your image,

Nathan. Before you I was a simple,

happy, complete being, in harmony

with the world around me. After you

I became duplicitous, cynical, angry,

anal, totally out of touch with my

surroundings. In a word, Nathan, I

became you. Lila has reintroduced me

to myself. And, incidentally, what

I'm about to do, kill you, is

something that would never have

occurred to me to do as a creature

of the Earth. Before when I killed,

it was for food or in self-defense.

Now I will kill for revenge. Revenge

is an abstract concept, Nathan. And

I learned abstract thinking from

you.

NATHAN:

No.

LILA:

Puff, don't.

Puff shoots. A crow screams. The fluttering of wings. The

bullet hits Nathan in the head. He falls.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

Lila sobs.

LILA:

Then I shot Nathan.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Puff dabs his eye.

PUFF:

Then Lila shot Nathan.

CUT TO:

INT. WHITE SPACE - DAY

Nathan talks.

NATHAN:

Then Puff shot me. Then I died. That's

all I know. That's the end of my

story. Do I get to go to heaven now?

(beat)

Or is it... hell?

(beat)

Or... what?

(beat)

I just stay here, is it? I just stay

here and tell it again? And after

that? Again? And after...

(sighs)

Yes. Yes, of course.

(sighs, clears his

throat)

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