Hunky Dory Page #3

F*** off, Hoople.

Ah, I gotta go.

Why? What's wrong with you?

- Oh, look, I'll come with you.

- What about me?

- F*** off.

- There's nothing wrong.

I just gotta go.

It's me dad, you know.

See you later.

- What's wrong with him?

- It's his dad, isn't it?

I've told him...

...life has to go on.

All right?

So, as we've discussed,

class is measured by sociologists

in terms of income,

education and...

...values.

To give you an example,

I am middle class.

You would be working class.

Right, any questions so far?

Class dismissed.

Right, human nature.

What is human nature?

It's one of the central

questions of the play.

What makes us tick, all of us?

You think it's love? The need for love

is at the core of the human experience?

You think everyone's capable of love?

Is Caliban capable of love?

Kenny, what do you think?

I... I don't know, miss.

- OK.

- Caliban's an outsider, like me.

I mean, like Ariel.

They're both outsiders.

Yeah, good. Exactly.

They're both excluded by society.

People make up their mind about

Caliban because he's different.

They think Caliban's a monster.

His mother was a witch.

You've met Kenny's mum then, miss?

- F*** off!

- All right, all right.

- You are f***ing dead.

- F*** you, Kenny.

Lewis!

- Lewis, sit down!

- F***ing idiot!

- Don't!

- Oh, come on, Kenny.

- F***ing prick.

- Kenny, please. Stop.

Just piss off, miss, yeah.

Stand still, Loder.

Still.

- Everything all right in here, Miss Mae?

- Yes. Thank you, Mr Cafferty.

I can deal with my own class, thank you.

It's all part of the process.

- Process?

- Yes.

Thanks for that, kids.

Thanks for making me look like an

idiot in front of the Incredible Bulk.

Right. Come on, Kenny.

Let's forget the words,

let's just do the song, all right?

Anyone not involved can leave. OK?

Lewis, you all right? Yes?

Kenny? Good.

- After school, you f***er.

- Wanker.

Just sit down and play, please.

Thank you.

Piss off, boys!

Lads.

You leave any marks on him

and you'll be in big trouble.

No towel again, Miller?

- Sam, you mong, f*** off.

- Miller!

Shall I slipper him, Mr Cafferty?

Everybody

Has been burned before

Everybody knows the pain

Anyone in this place

Can tell you to your face

Why you shouldn't

Try to love someone

Everybody knows

It never works

Everybody knows and me

I know that door

That shuts just before

You get to the dream

You see

- I gotta go. Bye.

- Bye.

Bye.

What are you doing tonight?

- Homework.

- What? Well, that's a first.

Sure you don't wanna come

to Pizza Night?

- That's for you college types.

- Miss Mae organises a get-together

for everyone who's leaving this year,

you know.

A get-together with teachers?

Sounds a bit naff.

Have you been telling people

we're going out?

No.

That's not what I heard. Heard you

been telling people we're going out.

We're friends, remember, yeah?

I don't get it.

You said that you loved me, Stella.

Oh, look, please, come on.

F***ing hell!

Kenny, you gotta ignore

Lewis and Hoople.

They just say stuff to wind you up,

you know. I know you can do it.

Kenny, every line you get right,

you gotta think "f*** off"

at the end of it.

Make every line a "f*** off" to anybody

who thinks that Kenny

- can't play Caliban. Got it?

- Yes, miss.

Could I scrounge a fag, miss?

Ah, go on.

- What are your plans, Kenny?

- What, miss?

When you leave at the end of term,

what are your plans?

- I... I don't know. Maybe the Army.

- Kenny, you join the Army,

they're gonna send you straight to

Northern Ireland. You know that, right?

You understand that's what's

gonna happen?

There's so many other things

that you could... Sh*t.

He hates me.

Oh, I'm f***ed!

Oh, God.

Ah, there's free booze and pizza.

Sounds a bit naff.

You can't dump us. Come on, man.

Uh, no, I can't. Go on,

go out and have a good night.

See you, boys.

Dunno why you bother. That Stella.

Everyone knows she's the school bike.

Women. They all lose it, don't they?

In the end.

What do you know?

For f***'s sake.

Mam, she lost it.

You know, f*** off, Angus, right.

Doing me f***ing head in.

You're doing f***ing everyone's head in.

F***ing Stella. F***ing tart.

Just like Mam.

You stupid f***! F*** off!

Don't talk about Mam like that!

F*** off, right!

Where you going?

I'm doing sardines on toast, man.

It's because they don't

think I'm a proper teacher.

Any excuse for Cafferty to stitch me up.

First Syd Jones, and now this.

Watch, tomorrow morning he's gonna go

straight to the head about the smoking.

I don't see what's so bad.

In France, everybody smokes.

Even small children.

It's normal.

They've been together

for three years, have they?

- And she never speaks?

- We've never heard her.

- Nobody has.

- What about you, miss?

- You seeing anyone?

- I'm not telling you that, Daz.

- Why not?

- Because I'm not.

- Oh, come on.

- And anyway,

it's first name terms tonight.

So you gotta call me Viv.

Sorry, Viv.

Hey, any chance of a top-up,

Mr Chisolm? I mean, Derek.

Hey, now, lads, right.

There's school tomorrow.

Turn your frown upside down, sir.

Are you OK, miss? I think you should

have started eating earlier.

Oh, we're busy, we're busy.

I need a towel.

It's the prawn salad.

I'm allergic. Always happens.

Oh, Dawn.

Whatever happens...

- ...you gotta promise me...

- Miss Vivienne.

...you'll never give up the violin.

- It's piano, miss.

- Yeah.

Miss Mae?

Viv, Vivienne.

You all right?

Madam Chairman,

ladies and gentlemen,

I presume this is to enable us to

sweep Britain clean of socialism.

I can foresee that it will become

as famous as Quentin Bell.

Davy?

Angus?

He's just being Angus, in't he.

Come on, let me speak to him.

What?

No, no, no, no, no, hang on. This isn't

about you and your new bloody life.

I just wanted to know if you'd seen him.

I wanted to know what's happening

because I've got the right.

Well, it wasn't me

who bloody left, was it?!

Oh, God.

Smug twats.

- Do they sleep in their tracksuits?

- Oh, probably.

- Oh, bugger. Bugger, bugger.

- What are you going to do?

Do you know, I've had an idea.

Are you going to sleep with him?

Oh, my God, you're so French.

Headmaster!

Headmaster.

Can I just have an urgent word?

- I need to talk to you about the show.

- Yes, yes, of course.

Come into my office.

Now the under-15s will be playing

St. Mary's tonight

in the regional semi-finals,

so we wish them luck.

Finally, I would like

to make an announcement regarding

this year's school musical.

Miss Mae's groundbreaking production

of Shakespeare's "Tempest."

I'm very happy to tell you that

I have, like many of you,

succumbed to Miss Mae's

persuasive powers,

and agreed, reluctantly of course,

to take on the role of Prospero.

It will provide me with a unique

opportunity to participate

in what will be, I'm sure,

a very special evening.

Smoking, with a pupil?

And in a public precinct?

Very sorry, Headmaster,

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