Husbands Page #4

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I wouldn't be surprised!

Might be better off!

- You're amazing!

- He's amazing!

You are amazing!

I know.

What do you want us to do?

You want us to go home with you?

- Let's go home.

- Let's go home.

We'll never make the 8:02.

We're late. We got 10 minutes.

Shave, shower, 10 minutes!

Let the cab go! We'll take my car.

That's the difference between him and us.

If my wife opens her mouth to me

about anything, I finish that fast.

- You're right.

- I walk right in there... I know I'm right.

And I spell it out.

And that's what you have to do.

Right, that's what you have to do.

I'm not going to shower for her.

If I want to stink, I'll stink.

That's my privilege,

- and I'm not showering for him.

- Right.

- I wouldn't shower for you.

- Don't.

- I'm not going to shave, either.

- Don't shave.

If I want to be dirty, I'll be dirty.

Look, if you want to be dirty, you be dirty.

You go ahead and be dirty.

You have to be free.

You have to be an individual.

Where is she?

Tell her I'm sorry.

Tell her I'll talk to her tonight.

- Tell her I love her.

- All right, Harry, I'll tell her.

I love you, too.

- You're a bad boy.

- I'm not a bad boy!

You understand me.

If she wasn't your daughter,

you'd be on my side.

I'm not allowed to say anything.

All right, don't say anything.

Who the hell asked you to say anything?

- Don't say anything.

- I didn't say anything!

Then don't! I know what side you're on.

Just say goodbye for me.

Yeah.

Terrible.

No sensitivity left.

You wanna be alone,

you can't even be alone in your own house.

Look, you don't have to

hide from me anymore.

I know you don't love me.

I just don't like being in a closet.

So let's end the suspense.

- You know how I feel.

- Tell me.

I don't want a scene.

What about the children?

We have three children.

They'll do just fine.

Mother! Mother, sit down!

Look,

I love you, and I love the children.

I'm telling you that

right in front of your mother.

I just...

I'm just uncomfortable in front of you.

That's it.

There's nothing personal.

Nothing personal.

Harry...

I just can't stand you.

- Annie!

- You stay out of this!

You stay out of this!

Stay out of this.

Annie. Annie.

- Ma, get the knife.

- Annie.

- I'll kill him!

- Give me that knife.

Give me that knife! Give me that knife!

Give it to me!

- Down on your knees. Down on your knees.

- No.

Down on your knees. Down on your knees!

Now, I'm calm. I'm very calm.

You love me?

Say you love me. Say you love...

Just say you love good old Harry.

You love Harry, don't you?

Poor working stiff.

You love me. Say you love me.

Say you love me!

Say it!

I love you.

- Again.

- I love you.

That's better. That's not so hard, is it?

I love you, too.

- I'm gonna call the police on him.

- Annie.

I'll kill him.

- I'm gonna call the police on him.

- You'll call the police?

You're going to call the police?

I know how to get to you.

- I know how to get to you.

- Oh, Harry! Harry!

- I know how to get to you!

- Don't you hurt my mother!

Shut up! Shut up! Get away from me!

- Hey, hey!

- You satisfied? You satisfied?

I'll kill her! I'll kill her!

I'll kill her! I'll kill her!

I'll kill her!

- Open the door!

- I'll kill her! I'll kill her!

- Open the door.

- I'm a funny guy, right?

Yeah, yeah, come on!

Jesus Christ.

All right. All right.

I'm freezing.

Must be emotional.

I must be going nuts.

I hate that house.

I only lived there because of a woman.

You know. The legs, the breasts, the mouth.

Well,

not anymore. No, sir.

Gus. Archie.

I'm confused, I tell you.

Because I know I'm going

to go in that house

and I know I'm not going

to go in that house,

because if I go in that house,

I'll only say I'm sorry.

So that's it. I'm going away.

I got...

This and this is...

You had a lot of hair then, Harry.

I got older. She gets younger.

They all get younger. You get older.

Well, that's it.

I'll go to Africa, Russia, China!

I don't care. I don't care.

You're not the first guy

to ever punch his wife out.

- Here he goes again.

- I have to agree with him.

- You going to start?

- Listen, you worry about your family,

we worry about our family.

That's the way it is.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Well, you're not worried about our family

when you go on like that because...

You're going to put me down again, right?

- We have our problems, Harry.

- All right, I get it. I get it.

- I know who my friends are.

- It's not all one way, you know!

- I'll just go to work and think it over!

- Wait a minute.

- I'll go to work and think it over, that's all.

- Wait a minute. Wait!

I'm going to work!

You want to go to work? I'll drive you.

- Are you going to work?

- Harry.

- Archie.

- I'll get in the car with you.

After that, I don't know,

because you can be violent.

Okay, that's all I ask.

Harry, you're a fantastic man,

but you can be violent.

You guys smell, you know that?

How can you go to work like that?

You put your fingers in people's mouths

all day long. Look at your fingernails.

You were right there.

Shave, take a shower, something!

Change your underwear!

We don't like your underwear.

Your underwear.

What is that, Bahama underwear you got?

Child.

Children.

Will you cut it out?

Oh, just cut it out.

Just cut it out. I'm in no mood.

- Listen...

- Lay off!

- Harry!

- I'm warning you, lay off!

Harry, listen.

Now, get away from me!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Look, what are you, an idiot?

What are you, an idiot? Wait a...

Get your hands off!

Doctor will be with you in just a minute.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Archie, listen to me.

I'm either going to change him into me,

or I'm going to change him into...

I don't know what

I'm going to change him into.

His basic problem... Listen to this.

He went into the house this morning

because he was supposed to.

I can't put my finger

on what's wrong with that.

- That's wrong. Right?

- Damn right, it's wrong.

- Right.

- It's everything. It's the way he walks,

the way he dresses, what he thinks,

what he doesn't think.

It's deeper than that.

He's going through a change of life.

- Listen to me! I've watched him all week...

- I have no time, Archie, I'm...

He's definitely going through

a change of life.

- Could you just hold it one second?

- Yeah, but think about that, would you?

Tray, please.

- Hello.

- Hello. You saw my x-rays last Tuesday.

- They took x-rays.

- Yeah, I saw that.

I'm very nervous. I hate dentists.

Did Harry tell you that?

No, we didn't get around to that yet.

You see, once I went to a dentist,

and he hurt me.

I think I'm allergic to Novocain.

I think so, you know?

You know, I hate needles and drills,

you know? You don't give a gas, do you?

No, I really don't know what you're saying.

Just open, please.

I just want to check your gums.

Something wrong, is there?

Miss Hines, Miss Hines, what's the matter?

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