Husbands Page #5

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I'm sorry, I'm so nervous.

I can't stop laughing.

Let the doctor check you, Miss Hines.

Let the doctor check you, Miss Hines. Relax.

I don't want him to do anything.

I want to be like this.

I'm making an ass out of myself.

I told myself that I wouldn't...

Look, just open a minute. Hold it, darling.

Darling, darling.

Take it easy now. I feel...

All right, just open now. Just say...

Nice and gentle.

- I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean...

- That's okay, just open, please.

Open, open. Say "ah. "

That's nice. You're in nice shape.

Yeah? Are you sure?

I mean, there's nothing really wrong?

- Just open...

- I can't stand this anymore.

I got to go.

- I got to go, Gus!

- Close your mouth for a minute. Okay.

Just one second. I can't stand it, either.

Hello?

- Harry, it's for you. It's Archie and Gus.

- Can't talk.

Oh, your secretary has it.

- It's Mr. Black and Gus to meet you.

- I told you to take a message.

- But they said it's very important.

- I can't talk to them.

- They're on their way over to see...

- Tell them not to come.

Tell them I'm busy.

I'm a man of responsibilities.

Tell them I'm a man who is responsible.

I'm not a bum.

And no more calls!

So the point is that your product

is supposed to make ours...

- Harry!

- Hi, Harry.

- Harry!

- Ed Weintraub.

Oh, Harry! The times we had together,

weren't they wonderful, huh?

- Wonderful, wonderful.

- Yeah, they're good.

Where should we go to?

- I don't know...

- Let's go!

Right this way, Mr. Weintraub.

- You guys going with me or not?

- Where? Where you going?

London. London, England.

London, England.

London. London, England.

Come on, Harry, you're not...

The hell with you. I don't need you.

You're being serious.

- You're a jerk, right?

- Right!

- I'm a jerk, right? You're a jerk, right?

- Yeah, yeah!

I'm going to London.

- I'm going to London.

- You're going to London?

- I'm going to London.

- Well, if you're going to London

and you're going to London,

I'm going to London.

Okay.

All right, you know what we do

with this jerk?

- We take him to London, right?

- Right.

We take him to London,

we take him to a hotel,

we tuck him in,

and then we come back home.

- That's all right.

- Let's call our wives.

All right.

Hello, Jeanie?

It's your Golden Greek.

This is your sweet potato.

You're sore at me, aren't you, huh?

No...

We're going to go away with him.

We're going to go to London with him.

Yeah, we're just going to tuck him in bed,

and get him into a hotel,

and then we're going to come right back.

There is no problem, it's just that,

sweetheart, we need our passports.

Yeah, Archie and I,

we don't have the passports.

You know where my passport is?

Well, will you go...

Will you go over to Archie's house

and ask Kate for his passport?

Oh, I love you.

Yeah, you're terrific.

Yeah, you're really terrific.

Yeah, I love you, too.

Jealous.

Can you imagine that?

All the women are around me

in my office all day long,

she's jealous over some foreign country

I've never been to before.

- I'm very excited.

- So am I.

Why do you look so worried?

I'm not worried.

That's good

because we're in the middle of the ocean.

No sense in being worried

in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, right?

Right.

- How are you, Archie?

- Good.

Thank you. I had a wonderful flight.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

- Thank you.

- Goodbye. Thank you for flying Pan Am.

Goodbye. Hope you had a nice flight.

Goodbye, sir. Hope you had a nice flight.

Goodbye now, sir.

Goodbye, sir.

Wet!

You have a connecting door, sir,

but we'll have to go around.

- Everything all right, gentlemen?

- What?

- What?

- What's all right?

Excuse me, please. This way, sir.

I'll take this one.

- American money all right?

- Yes, sir.

- There you go.

- Thank you very much, sir.

- There you go.

- Thank you, sir. Good day, sir.

- Oh, the key.

- Have a good day, sir.

Look at the bathroom.

I like your room, Arch.

Look at the rain.

It rains a lot in London.

I like the rain.

Let's take a shower.

Let's take a shower and get some sleep,

and then we'll order some clothes

and get some clothes...

That's right. That's right. We'll take

an hour's nap. All I need is an hour.

We need some clothes.

I sleep an hour, I feel like I slept 12.

- Oh, boy.

- Rain is fantastic.

- Then we get some women.

- We need some sleep.

Harry, my wife is not so good in bed.

Maybe that's the answer.

I mean, I don't enjoy it that much.

I'm very slow.

Well, maybe that's the answer.

May I ask a question?

What does that mean, slow?

He's saying you're great in bed,

and he stinks in bed, is that right?

- Archie!

- I never said that.

- I don't care.

- He doesn't care.

If I cared, I wouldn't have any.

I don't care either,

because there's going to be no more talk.

Go out and get it.

Is that wrong?

Oh, my God.

My arm.

Oh, my God.

There's a cab. Come on. Here we go.

- Come on in.

- It's England.

It's England.

We're in England.

- Good evening, gentlemen.

- Good evening.

- Do you wish to play?

- Yes, we'd like to play craps.

- You have craps here?

- We got craps. Got everything.

- All right, that's what we like.

- We need chips.

- Chips, right. Get some chips, that's all.

- The cashier can help you there, sir.

Thank you.

- We only have American money.

- I see. Can I have it, please?

- What?

- Can I have it, please?

Give him the money.

But we're running low on cash.

Traveler's checks all right?

Traveler's checks, American.

Can I see your passport, sir?

Just a formality, sir.

Show him the passport, Harry.

We've got passports.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

everything all right here?

- Everything's all right.

- That's very good, sir. Thank you.

- $200 all right?

- $200?

Yes, sir. Would you sign, please?

Here you are, sir. $200.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- Thank you very much, sir. Thank you.

It's your fault we came to London, right?

Harry, come on, what about our chips?

We're not, you know, we're not alone here.

Everybody's together.

Come on, Gus. Gus, come on.

Get your chips.

- What'll we play?

- Wait for Gus. Come on.

- Craps?

- What do you mean, come on? I'm here.

Craps?

- Craps, right.

- Right.

Good game, gents. Your roll.

Go ahead. Shillings.

- Your dice.

- Right.

- Your dice.

- I'm not shooting.

He shoots. I'm the brains. I shoot.

You're the brains. Gus, Gus, Gus!

Five on the win.

- Gus!

- First time in London. Let's go.

- Here we go! Here we go!

- That's the way to start.

- Press the seven.

- Bet eleven, shooter coming in.

- We're new here.

- That's not the way to bet.

You'll see. Ten a point.

- Now, you have to press.

- I got no money to press.

Bet it hard now, gents. 2-to-1 odds.

Bet four, six,

- the eight. And the nine.

- On the five.

- Cover the field.

- No bets over there.

No place bets.

- Point's 10, shooter.

- I know the game.

You know the game.

- Don't listen to him next time.

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