Husbands Page #7

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- Absolutely.

- 'Cause I can't understand them.

- Excuse me.

I can't understand them,

so it's only the sound I can...

That you can understand.

Excuse me, can we have another Scotch?

You can understand...

Two doubles, please.

You can understand Latin?

- No, some Latin. A little Latin.

- English, you can understand.

Yes.

Let me tell you something.

Don't move, this is called a whisper.

- How you doing?

- Fine.

Good.

Listen,

you busy, or you going to leave?

All right. I'm doing fine. What did you say?

Well, I was just wondering if you

were going to hang around or not.

Here's the thing. We don't know one another,

but my name is Black.

I'm Mr. Black. I'm from New York.

I just got into town.

- Queen.

- I'm new here.

And I just wondered and wondered

if you were

a friendly person, or what do you think?

Listen, I'm a hell of a guy, and...

I...

I think you're a lovely lady.

You interest me.

I do?

I see, well,

I'm going to tell you something now.

I'm not very interesting.

I'm a very ordinary guy.

I got a family. I got two kids, so that...

- And that makes it difficult.

- But your family is here with you.

No.

No. No.

No, my family is in New York.

Yeah. Look,

I'll see you around.

- I could satisfy you.

- Don't do that. Don't do that.

- I'm very rich.

- Take your hand off there.

- Do you want girls?

- Take your hand...

- I can give you girls.

- I don't want any girls.

- Do you want boys?

- No.

- I can give you boys.

- Listen to me, listen to me.

I'm a very rough guy.

Good.

Lady,

you got your hand on my hand.

You've got your hand on my hand.

Take your hand off my hand.

Take your hand off my hand.

Listen to me.

You want me to get rough with you?

Because I can lose my head if I have to.

Lady, I'm not alone.

Are you going to take

your hand off my hand?

No.

- You're not?

- No.

You want me to call my friends?

Don't make me lose my head.

Take your hand off my hand.

Take your hand off my hand.

I will take my hand off your hand,

but you got to take your hand

off my hand first.

That's right.

That's right. Now,

come here.

You're terrific.

I'll see you around.

- He wants bobs.

- Give him $3.

- You got bobs?

- Give him $3.

Here take this. That's enough.

Come on in.

Take your coat?

No, no.

Can I keep it on?

Yes.

Take this off.

- Who wants a drink? Anyone want a drink?

- Yes, please. I think I'll have a whiskey.

Whiskey. Harry?

Hello, room service. This is Room 426.

Mr. Black. Mr. Archie Black.

We'd like a bottle of...

Bell's.

A bottle of Bell's whiskey.

And we'd like a...

- Anyone want anything to eat?

- No, thank you.

You want something to drink?

I'd like a shrimp cocktail.

- A double-shrimp cocktail.

- Coca-Cola, please.

- One Coca-Cola.

- And we'd like...

What kind of salad do you have?

- I'd like a...

- One Coca-Cola.

Oh, and one Coca-Cola.

I would like a Belgian endive salad.

Yeah, a Belgian endive with tomato,

and lemon and oil dressing.

Anybody want a salad?

What kind of soup do you have?

Turtle soup. I don't want any soup.

Anyone want any soup? Turtle soup?

- Not for me, thank you.

- No.

Okay, well, that's about the order.

Bring some olives and some nuts

and lots of ice, all right?

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, can I use your loo, please?

- My loo?

- Well, anybody's loo.

- Well, now.

- A loo.

Hey, come here.

That's Archie's loo,

so we don't want to use that loo, so...

And that's Harry's,

and the one after that is mine.

And you'll find it's much more comfortable,

and the heat is always on.

- All right, Leo?

- Yeah.

You're inscrutable.

- Have a match?

- Yeah.

Oh, my, my, my, my.

Oh, my, my, my.

- You all right?

- I'm all right.

I'm all right.

- Is anything the matter, Harry?

- That's all right. It's all right.

- Do you want me to go home?

- No, no, no, no, no.

Sit up.

Sit up.

Now, bend forward. Lean forward. Right.

Oh, that's good. Oh, you're wonderful.

My wife used to do that for me.

Get up. On your feet.

Now, walk.

Will you excuse us a moment, please?

Which is your room?

- It's in there.

- Go on in.

Excuse us.

- I'm going in there.

- Come on.

I left my

cigarettes.

Sorry.

You want the door closed?

'Cause I'll be happy to close it

for you, Archie.

I want to apologize for the behavior inside.

I thought it was crude.

And I want to apologize

for locking the door, too.

- That wasn't necessary. Right?

- Fine.

I think you're too complicated

for your own good.

- You think I'm complicated?

- Yes, I think you're complicated.

Why do you think I'm complicated?

Well...

Go ahead, be honest. Go ahead, be honest.

I don't like your American bluntness.

Banging people on backs

and calling them "pal. "

You don't even know them.

And I don't like your silly, sniggering,

schoolboy friends, either.

I think you're nuts.

It's okay, 'cause I like nuts.

I'm a nut myself.

God! That's my throat you're shaking.

Get off!

- This is called the Greek scissor grip.

- Get off me!

It's good for Greeks and scissors.

You know any Greeks?

Any good Greek restaurants, huh?

I love it. All right, just relax

another second.

Relax. Just one second. Relax. Ready?

- Just get off of me.

- Okay. Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Please, sweetheart. Lie down. Just lie down.

Lie down a second.

- Let me get comfortable, please.

- No, no, please.

Let go. You're hurting my arm. Thank you.

Now. Now.

Sweetheart, don't do that.

It doesn't make any sense

what you're doing here.

See, just take that down.

What's wrong with your stomach, darling?

- Nothing wrong with it.

- There is, there's something terribly...

There's nothing wrong with it.

I just don't want to be touched.

- Can I... Can I...

- No, I don't want to be touched.

- Let me take your shoes off!

- I don't want...

- Please, let me just take your...

- I don't want my shoes taken off!

- I don't want my shoes taken off.

- I only took one off. The other one stays on.

- Just let me take this one.

- Get off me.

I'm a shoe eater.

- Oh, I love that kind of half violence...

- Get off me!

...half indolence. Darling, I see everything.

I swear. Now put your skirts down.

Go ahead. Please, please.

And this one, too. I can't stand that.

Please. Please. I just wanna see...

I'm so drunk.

- Stay there, please. Just lie still.

- Do you love me?

No, I don't.

- Please, just lie still.

- See that light?

- Yon light?

- Yes.

Yon English light heads blazing bright!

Oh, you're mad! Please, lie down.

Please, lie down.

- Lie down? Lie down.

- Yes. Yes, lie down.

All right, I will.

Just relax a moment. Just relax.

Look, it's not that important. Just relax.

I'm gonna get you in one second.

I'm gonna go mad.

- I'm gonna go mad.

- No, please, don't go mad.

- Please, don't go mad.

- I'm going to go mad.

You're not going to achieve anything

by going mad.

I'm not gonna go mad.

I'm not gonna go mad.

- Now, get off me!

- Did someone get on you?

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