I Am a Sex Addict Page #8

the stronger their addictions had become.

I'm in my hallway and I'm bleeding,

and I just realized that that's it,

I'm at f***ing rock bottom.

And I really need some support tonight,

'cause it's been a really hard week.

(clapping)

It's 9:
15. This is the time

we usually set aside for newcomers.

Would any of the newcomers like to share?

Yes.

As you can see, I'm not

very good at crying on camera.

But I did actually break down and cry

at that first Sex Addicts Anonymous

meeting that I went to,

and I actually happened

to tape record the meeting.

And this is actually the tape

that I made at that first meeting.

This was in 1991.

And I'm just going to play it for you

so you can hear what it sounded like.

CAVEH:
I feel really moved

by what everybody is saying.

- MAN:
What's your name?

- My name's Robert.

ALL:
Hi, Robert.

I didn't use my real name.

(blows nose)

I'm blowing my nose.

I used to be married and...

It's hard to talk.

I started seeing prostitutes and...

... it destroyed my marriage and...

Then I got...

... involved with somebody else and...

... that just ended recently...

(crying)

... for the same reason.

Ooh, I hit the record button.

Anyway, that was, uh...

That was that.

I mean, there's more, but...

Let's go back to the movie.

I started going to meetings

regularly after that

and was eventually able to stop

having sex with prostitutes long enough

to get married again.

Unfortunately, that marriage

didn't work out so well.

Two years later, as our marriage

was falling apart,

I had sex with a prostitute

and told my wife.

She filed for divorce soon after.

Hi, my name's Caveh.

I'm a sex addict.

ALL:
Hi, Caveh.

It wasn't easy,

but after several more years of going

to meetings at least once a week,

I was eventually able to stop having sex

with prostitutes altogether.

It's hard to explain

how I was eventually able to stop.

It wasn't just one thing.

But the way I think about it is in terms

of the story of Orpheus and the Sirens.

The Sirens were these mythical creatures

whose singing was so seductive

that anyone hearing them

would go insane with desire.

Sailors would fling themselves

overboard to try to reach them,

only to die upon the rocks below.

But when Jason and the Argonauts

had to sail past the Sirens,

Orpheus, the greatest singer

in ancient Greece,

came up with an ingenious idea.

(ting)

He simply started singing.

And because his song was so beautiful,

the oarsmen had ears only for his song

and didn't even hear the Sirens.

And I feel like

that's what happened to me.

I heard a more beautiful song.

- And then I met Mandy.

- Hi.

- This is Mandy.

- We just went swimming.

We met in a dance class

and fell in love soon afterwards.

We've been together for seven years now,

which is by far the longest

I've ever been with anyone.

- CAVEH:
I love you, sweetie.

- I love you, too.

Now, I'm not saying we never fight.

Mandy, I was willing to talk about it.

You weren't.

We fight a lot.

Now he's in here and he's filming me.

But fighting no longer makes me

want to go have sex with a prostitute

or look for a new girlfriend.

Instead, I just hang in there

and really try to work it out.

(exhales)

I could go on and on

about how great she is,

but the wedding's about to begin.

Greg, let's do the boutonniere.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

(Pachelbel's Canon in D Major playing)

MAN:
One, two, three.

(Jonathan Richman's My Baby

Love Love Loves Me Now playing)

# Oh, my baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# My baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed #

# I prayed #

# I have #

# But I didn't expect this #

# My baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# Even more than I prayed #

# Well, she loves #

# She does #

# But I had to be ready for it #

# She loves #

# She does #

# But I had to be ready #

# And I prayed #

# I have #

# And I was blessed #

# Oh, my baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# Even more than I prayed #

# Oh, my baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# Oh, my baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed #

# Well, she loves #

# She hates #

# But she communicates #

# And my baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# Even more than I prayed #

# Well, she loves #

# She does #

# But I had to be ready for it #

# She loves #

# She does #

# But I had to be ready #

# And I prayed #

# I asked, yeah #

# And I was blessed #

# Love, love, love #

# My baby love, love, loves me now #

# Even more than I prayed for #

# Even more than I prayed #

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