I Give It a Year Page #9

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Just to talk packaging before the meeting.

Is that okay?

- Sure.

- Thanks. Sorry.

Well, I could help you get a cab, if you want.

And I'll wait with you.

Okay, yeah.

- I had a blast, partner.

- Oh!

We are what make our nation great.

I'd like to check out that Kandinsky

thing you were talking about.

That sounds very interesting.

Thank you.

Aw, that's nice. All right?

Okay, I'll see you back at the flat.

All right. All the best.

I presume we need to make a decision

on the LinkWorth tender for the branding.

What are your thoughts?

(door buzzing)

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

I thought you said that this...

(woman shouting in Cantonese through speaker)

Oh, Christ, even your underwear's amazing.

(door buzzing)

- (woman speaking Cantonese)

- It's a little fiddly.

Just rip it off. Just rip it!

- (fabric ripping)

- There it is!

That Guy's so dull. He's so bland.

You don't like him, do you?

Taxi!

No?

What's going on, Josh?

What are we even doing?

What do you mean? Taxi!

Your light's on! Put your light...

His light was on. Why would...

You realise I love you, don't you?

I'm in love with a man who just got married

and we're both pretending that it's fine.

Tonight was so f***ed-up!

Taxi!

(Josh) No, no.

Uh, excuse me, excuse me. No.

No, no, no, you don't do that.

That's not how decent people behave, is it?

How is society supposed to function

with people like you dragging us into a cesspit?

Mmm? We're not animals!

- Sorry, we just didn't see you.

- Didn't realise it was your taxi.

- Please, take it.

- Take it, you can have it.

So sorry. I'm sorry.

What am I supposed to do?

I can't just walk out of a marriage

after nine months.

Why not?

Pride? Afraid of what people will say?

Figure out what you actually

want to fight for, Josh.

When I went to Africa,

I convinced myself that we were too young

and somebody better would come along,

but they never did and they still haven't.

And now, every time I see you, I think,

why didn't you stop me?

Why didn't you fight?

(sighs)

This has to stop.

I can't see you any more.

You're married.

I can't see you any more.

- Dinner and a show, was it?

- As it happens.

Yeah? Nice.

Sorry.

We need to talk.

We do, yeah.

I don't know what's happening here,

but it's been nine months

and neither of us is happy

and I don't know how to change things.

I just never imagined that marriage

would be this difficult, you know?

I don't want to be Hugh and Naomi.

I don't want to constantly row

over whether the bin's full or not.

I don't see what's wrong with compacting

the rubbish to make more space...

- I'm not rowing about the bin again.

- Neither am I.

Look, if you want to walk away, I understand.

Well, is that what you want?

That's not what I'm saying.

Because it sounds like

you don't want to make it work.

Stop putting words into my mouth.

You're the one who said marriage was difficult.

Yeah, but I didn't say anything

about walking away.

So, if you want to give up...

I'm not the one giving up.

Well, nor am I.

Well,

good.

That's good.

So what do we do?

(Nat) So, that's why we've come here today.

We've hit our low point,

but we're committed

to making our marriage succeed.

(groans)

You should just cut your losses now

before your life becomes a series of squabbles

about who's meant to pick the kids up,

who put the King's Speech DVD

back in the Sound of Music DVD case.

(sighs) I suppose,

if you really want to make it work,

you could try focusing on making it to a year.

Commit to a life with each other

for the next three months.

( Don't Dream It's Over by Lolo Pritch)

(Diana) What is it?

- (sighs)

- Is it a film?

- How many words?

- (Nat) Novel?

Well, you must know how many words there are.

Sounds like?

I understand you're looking to sell.

I'm from Foxtons.

(singing along softly)

We built this city

We built this city On the wrong damn road

Built this city

Boom, boom.

We built this city

On the wrong damn road

... and roll

Johnny played the bongos...

(humming along)

So, this time last year,

you'd been Mrs Moss for...

Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty...

...an hour and eight minutes.

(Nat) We made it.

One year.

We should be proud of ourselves.

Ta-da.

I thought I'd bring out the big guns

for a special occasion.

- Could you help do me up?

- Yeah.

I think two of these hooks are broken.

- Oh. Really?

- Yeah, I think so.

- God. Um, let me fix it.

- All right.

( When Love Breaks Down by Snow Patrol)

Hon, I've just remembered

I've got to do something. Um...

I'll see you at the restaurant.

Tell Hugh and Naomi, okay?

- Sure. I'll see you there.

- (door closes)

(tyres screech)

(car horns honking)

(Chloe) You know, you haven't even

told me where we're going yet.

(Guy) I wanted to surprise you.

- (all cheering)

- Surprise!

What's going on?

I wanted to organise a little party for you.

A year is a big achievement.

Where is your stupid husband?

(inaudible)

(Guy) Did you remember your passport?

(sighs)

Here.

Is this human trafficking?

You're not gonna keep it

and sell me to a gang of Albanians

who'll make me pleasure 25 truck drivers a day

at some port in Belgium

for me to earn it back, are you?

No, no. Absolutely not.

It's a terrible situation, though.

Those women...

I can't help but think they all just

started life as someone's little baby.

He's still not picking up.

He's never usually late.

God, can we start without him?

I'm starving.

We've been here forever.

(Nat) I can't believe he's late

for our first-anniversary dinner.

I can't believe you even made it...

(hesitantly)

...to your first-anniversary dinner.

- What?

- Hmm?

Mmm?

Well, one year is pretty remarkable,

given that you two are completely

ill-suited for one another, isn't it?

I mean, no one thought

you were gonna make it a month,

much less a year.

Really?

I didn't actually think you'd make it

past the honeymoon, honestly.

I thought you'd f*** a Moroccan.

- Whoa.

- (Danny) I really did.

And I wouldn't have blamed you

because they're very beguiling, the Moroccans.

If you sort of like the swarthy gentleman.

- Thanks. And no, I don't.

- That's not your thing?

- No.

- Ooh. A bit racist?

I bet you'd do it. You'd do it

with a foreign fellow, wouldn't you?

What about the Chinese fellows?

Because they've not got

a great reputation as lovers.

But they must be doing something right,

because there's billions of them.

You've got your Germans. Ach!

Very efficient.

(mimics machine whirring) Like

a machine, just... (grunts) In and out.

(German accent) "I vill annex your vagina!

"And then Poland!"

No, forgive and forget.

But d'you know what?

I don't know about you,

I've never met someone

who's had sex with an Eskimo.

Be good, wouldn't it?

Because they'd start with the noses

and then they'd, ooh, get down,

you know, with the...

Do you think they do that down there?

Not using the... Just... On the nose.

I bet you've had a few of them, yeah.

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