I Heart Huckabees Page #13

---

The gentleman behind the bush,

you have to leave, please.

One world. One store.

Huckabees, the everything store.

Shopping, nature,

together.

- Did they let you in to the benefit?

- I didn't even try to get in.

Brad, I thought about chopping your head off

with a machete many times.

I thought about hacking you up

with an ax, Albert...

and smashing your face in

with a baseball bat.

[ Recording ]

Eighteenth floor.

- You going up?

- [ Albert ] We're going down.

- Uh, no, I think you're going up.

- Right you are. Come on in.

Ma'am.

- Oh-- Uh.

- MaryJane.!

- Oh, at last.

- How could you?

- How could you do that to us, you liar?

- This is a win for us. Come on.

A Dexicorp mall in my grandfather's forest

is not exactly a win.

And they've already started surveying to--

to start construction.

- We saved the marsh.

- [ Albert ] By giving them the woods.

Are we going up or what?

All you did was make Huckabees look good.

That's all you did.

Albert, how can you be calm?

Did you hear what Brad did?

- I'm dealing with it.

- Sit with me and Shania. You'll

see this is a win for us.

- Shania doesn't give a sh*t!

- Oh, Shania cares.

- Let's go!

- Shania doesn't give a sh*t!

- We saved the marsh--

- F*** him!

- So you sold out the woods?

- This new mall is going to be very eco-friendly.

I saved half the trees.

Did I sell out the woods?

I don't know. I tried to do some good.

You know, I saved half of'em.

- [ Sighs ]

- Brad, I torched yourJet Skis.

- And my house?

- No,just yourJet Skis.

It spread to the house.

I'm sorry.

[ Recording ]

Thirty-sixth floor.

- [ Sighs ]

- You guys going down?

Good.

Who is that?

You or me?

Give me--

- [ Grunting, Groaning ]

- Ow! [ Screaming ]

Give me that!

[ Grunting, Groaning Continue ]

[ Woman ]

Hit the alarm.

- You're only smashing yourself, Brad!

- Yeah.

[ Grunting ]

And now

I'm smashing myself!.

Now I'm smashing myself!.

- Stop it!

- [ Recording ] Twenty-frst floor.

[ Together]

Shania.

Brad, do you realize

when they destroy the woods--

- No, let me explain.

- the average temperature of

the marsh rises five degrees?

- The entire food chain is

degraded, starting with frogs.

- Let me explain.

Let me explain.

Okay, but we saved half the woods.

I'm a vegetarian, Brad.

I eat tofu tuna.

With the mayo,

and you liked it.!

Shania, I'm Albert. I used to run the

Open Spaces Coalition.

- She knew my name. See?

- So what if she knew your name?

I was only joking, man.

Come on.

Yeah, okay,

I'm caught up in that sh*t.

- So am I. That's how I bought into you.

- [ Recording ] Eighteenth floor.

Albert, we owe you an apology.

We should've stayed with you.

Thanks, Angela.

See you at the meeting on Tuesday.

We're gonna stop

those bulldozers.

- Oh, my goodness.

- [ Brad ] i don't have a job.

I don't even know

who I am.

That's exactly

how I felt.

Try this lady.

Ah, here he comes!

- Oh, boy.

- The man-poet who banged France's

dark lady of philosophy.

The parking lot

crusader of truth...

who turned his back on his other

like a cold-blooded gangsta.

I know.

- You hurt my feelings.

- I'm sorry.

- But you had to do it anyway, didn't ya?

- She's a very powerful person.

- And I haven't been with a lot of women.

- Obviously.

And she used me to teach us

about the inevitability of human drama.

So? Is that where

you get off the ride?

Hell no.

I didn't think so.

- Looks like you saw some truth.

- Looks like you saw some truth.

- What'd you see?

- Well, the interconnection

thing is definitely for real.

- It is! I didn't think it was.

- I can't believe it. It's so fantastic!

- That's amazing.

- I know.

But it's also

nothing special.

Yeah, because it grows from

the manure of human trouble.

You see, the detectives,

they just wanted to gloss right over that.

But in fact,

no manure, no magic.

- Did you hear some of that?

- Some of it sounds pretty good.

I think--

I think this case

is closed.

Is it ever

really closed?

Hmm.

- What are you doing tomorrow?

- I was thinking about

chaining myself to a bulldozer.

- Do you want to come?

- What time?

Mm, 1 :
00, 1 :30.

Sounds good.

Should I bring my own chains?

We always do.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes