I Heart Huckabees Page #2

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And this is, uh, a museum.

And this is a disease.

And this is an orgasm.

And this is a hamburger.

- Everything is the same even if it's different.

- Exactly.

But our everyday mind forgets this.

We think everything is separate.

Limited. I'm over here.

You're over there. Which is true.

But it's not the whole truth

because we're all connected.

Because we... are connected.

- Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure.

- Okay?

- Yeah.

- All right, now, we need to learn...

how to see the blanket truth

all the time.

Right in the everyday stuff.

And that's what this is for.

- Why?

- Why what?

Why do I need to learn how to see the blanket

thing all the time in the everyday stuff?

You wouldn't want to miss out

on the big picture, would you?

- Uh-uh.

- That's partly why you're here, right?

And this is it. I'm talking

about it right now.

It will take a while

for you to get it, you know?

- But... it will help you.

- [ Zipper Unzipping ]

- How?

- When you get the blanket thing you can relax...

because everything you could ever want

or be, you already have and are.

- That sound pretty good?

- That sounds very good.

- All right, get in.

- You want me to get in?

- So, get in here?

- Yeah.

- What's going to happen to me in there?

- Oh, hey, you're gonna see.

You'll find out.

The purpose of this suit, Mr. Markovski,

is to help shut down...

your everyday perceptions

and give up your usual identity...

- that you think separates you from everything.

- [ Heart Beating ]

This room,

this street...

this town, this country,

this economy...

this history,

this planet.

Your body,

your senses,yourjob.

Everything that

you identify with.

Hey, man. How's it going?

You're an a**hole.

We will f***ing

destroy you, deary.

- Got Shaquille O'Neal. I like Shaq.

- [ Girl Squeals ]

Hey.

- Brad Stand.

- Hey, how are you?

So what's the Open Spaces

take on that?

Well, I think you guys

can definitely rebuild in areas...

that are already run-down

instead of tearing up new land.

- [ Albert's Voice ] New land. New land.

- We're open to that.

That's who we are at Open Spaces.

We can't throw that away.

We're not asking you to throw that away.

I'm not gonna bullshit you, right?

Part of this is we took a beating in the press

for all our growth.

Opening so many stores

in such a short time.

So if we work with you

and your Open Spaces Coalition...

is that gonna help

the Huckabees image?

Yes. Does it

help me? Yes.

Do I benefit from getting some great P.R.

for Huckabees when we need it? Absolutely.

But do I care about

saving the open spaces? Yes, I do.

[ Woman Moaning ]

Don't look at me.

What's wrong with you?

Beat it, you little p*ssy.

- What's wrong with you?

- P*ssy.

- You're an a**hole.

- [ Gasping ]

- How are you? Okay? You doing okay?

I thought you said that

was going to relax me.

Eventually, but you have to

practice at home. Okay?

You got a lot of layers

in there, don't you? Huh? All right?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

How am I supposed to practice at home?

I don't have one of these.

It doesn't matter.

What you can do-- It--

Just use an eye mask

or shut your eyes, okay?

Oh.

Oh.

Um, hi. What should

I be doing?

Whatever you normally do.

[ No Audible Dialogue

Or Sound Effects ]

[ Machine Beeps ]

[ Woman ] i wanted to thank you

for what you did with the oak tree.

i played in that tree when i was little.

i thought we had a chance...

- but they chopped it to pieces.

- [ Phone Ringing ]

[ Woman's Voice ]

Hi. i have some questions...

about power lines over the playground

where my daughter goes to school.

Please call me.

i'm Marjorie at 96--

- Hey, we got to talk, man.

- Hey, what's going on? Where is everybody?

- Brad moved the meeting.

- He what?

- To Huckabees corporate.

- Listen. Okay. I want you to do this.

I want you to get me the national office

on the phone right now.

Call Orrin Spence and tell him

that Brad is trying to hijack my coalition.

- This should've gone

to the other chapter a week ago.

- i want those flyers...

- outta the parking lot.

- It's a free country. The poems work.

- Oh, you are pissing people off.

- Oh, no, i'm not.

- Yeah, you really are. You're pissing people--

- No, I'm not.

If my poems had gone out with the

Shania mailing, it'd be a different story.

You know what? You're not leading

this coalition anymore.

- I am the coalition. I wrote the charter.

- Uh-huh. Not for long.

- Tell him it's important.

- I'm not going to any meeting at Huckabees.

- I can't get 'em.

- Can you just keep trying? Just keep trying.

Orrin Spence. Brad cannot

do this to us, all right?

- How can she get you out of the charter, man?

- She can't!

This is my work situation, the one

I was telling you about. It's a little--

I'll describe it later

to you if we could just--

- Don't worry, Albert. We're gonna

knock that meeting on its ass.

- Copy these and get these out.

You're fighting suburban sprawl and this fellow,

Brad Stand, and you have had a falling out.

Remember, I told you

not to come by my work?

Oh, yes, I remember. Now, tell me,

did the coalition inspire the poetry?

- Or did the poetry inspire the coalition?

- This is looking weird.

- Can we schedule a time when you can come by?

- This thread of your--

This has nothing to do with my coincidence.

My coincidence has to do with an African man.

Viv.! Viv.! Mr. Corn is having a crisis.

You better talk to him. Mr. Corn, crisis.

- Tommy, what is it?

- I got a serious situation here.

- Tell me what's happening.

- She wants to talk about my work situation.

- I want to know about my coincidences.

- What's happening now?

This is what's happening now.

She's spying--

- Talking about the blanket.

- I don't want to do the blanket right now.

Like this.

Wait a minute. Whoa.

What's going on?

I need facts, Bernard,

to piece together a theory.

No time for infinity?

Gotta piece together a theory?

- This isn't cool.

- What? What?

Listen, you go visit Mr. Corn.

His wife is leaving him.

i think i've got a really

hot lead, Bernard.

Albert, the universe is an infinite sphere

whose center is everywhere...

and whose circumference

is nowhere.

Well, how can the center

be everywhere if--

- She just dove into the back of Angela's car.

- You gotta keep using the method.

I gotta check on-- on, uh,

Mr. Corn right now, okay?

That method works.

Don't forget to use it, all right?

Mmm. Mmm! Mm.

[ Chattering ]

[ Man ]Jimbo, everything

on this lawn goes.

The microwave,

the coffee grinder.

Baby! Baby, come on.

Don't do this, please.

Hey, don't do this.

- You don't need anyone.

- That's not true. I need you guys.

If nothing matters,

how can I matter?

I don't know if nothingness matters

or somethingness matters.

I'm trying to figure that out

and I want you to help me.

Somethingness, nothingness.

You know what?

I-I-I-- You figure it out.

Let go! Let go of me!

Okay, uh, hold on now.

Tell me what happened. Okay?

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