I Heart Huckabees Page #6

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Isn't it sports questions

in that book? [ Laughs ]

No, wise ass. PhilJackson's a smart guy.

All right, come on.

It was

an honest question, Brad.

Felt a little hostile.

I feel the same thing from him.

- Who the hell are you?

- Who the hell are you?

You wanna go?

Get out of here man.

Hey, don't be a jerk, buddy.

Come on. Don't be a--

- That's funny! He pushed him!

- It is not funny!

- Hey, he assaulted me, man. He tried to attack me.

- Hey!

- I tried to-- You're dancing with my girl.

- Yeah.

- You wanna dance?

- No, I don't wanna dance.

- [ Bernard ] Look at me. Come on.

- What?

- You want to go at him, right?

- Yeah.

[ Brad ] No, i don't want to go.

He grabbed my girl.

[ Bernard ] All right,you guys wanna have

a go at each other, right?

You wanna have a go at each other.

[ Continues, indistinct ]

You want to go backwards?

The reptiles have been

eating each other for years.

You want to be back on all fours?

Right? Primitive?

Come on.! That's spirit you wanna

keep for the battles inside.

- [ Man ] What are you doing?

- I, um--

Bernard-- The dismantling thing with the

whole-- You know, all the poetry stuff--

But I got it. It's no big deal.

Because I got it now, okay?

[ Bernard ] Every relationship is possible,

guys. Brothers, husbands, child.

Security breach.

He broke into his file.

- [ All Gasp ]

- What did you do, Albert?

This is my investigation now.!

You think you know what you're doing?

You haven't even begun...

to dismantle your identity

or your fear.

Albert's gotta do what he's gotta do.

Anybody think they know better?

- Want to take a shot?

- [ Albert ] it's my coincidence.

[ Tommy ] Nobody?

Yeah, nobody.

Sorry I grabbed you.

- [ Vivian ] Reptilian.

- Man, come on.

[ Vocalizing ]

[ Continues ]

- Hey, is that him there?

- Yeah, that's him.

- Hey.

- My goodness, it is you.

Yeah, it's me Albert. How are you?

This is my friend Tommy.

Hey. Tommy Corn.

How are you?

- This is the fourth coincidence?

- No, I came here on purpose.

I was wondering about our coincidences

and what they mean.

We were just wondering if we spent time,

maybe try to understand it.

- Perhaps you can be my guests for dinner.

- That would be great, huh?

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- Wait here. I must ask my mom.

Guys, guys.!

My ball.! My ball.!

[ Girl's Voice ] Thy will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

and forgive us our trespasses...

as we forgive those

who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, the power

and the glory. Forever and ever, Amen.

[ All ]

Amen.

Steven, how'd you end up

working as a doorman?

It is our immigration agreement.

We must work.

The building supervisor hired Steven

as a member of our congregation.

- He was so skinny.

- Skeleton man from Africa. Skeleton man--

- What did we say about that?

- i don't want to hear it again.

it'll be no internet tonight.

Didn't know what a can opener was.

He opened cans with a big knife like at the camp.

There aren't lions roaming here but there were

in Sudan, and the orphan boys got chased.

- And one time, a big alligator

bit his friend's head off.

- [ Boy ] it was a crocodile.

He wanted to know where all the meat

comes from since he didn't see any cows.

[ Man ]

Guys, that's enough.!

Albert, what brought you

to the philosophical club?

[ Albert ] You mean

the existential detectives?

- Sounds like a support group.

- Why can't he use a church?

Sometimes people

have additional questions to be answered.

- Like what?

- Well, um, for instance--

If the forms of this world die,

which is more real...

the me that dies

or the me that's infinite?

Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need

to learn to look beneath those things?

Sounds like we got

a philosopher.

We don't have to ask those kinds

of questions, do we, Mom?

- No, honey.

- What happened to the cat, Albert?

H-How'd you know

about my cat?

- The cat was killed by curiosity.

- Right. That cat.

- What do you do?

- I'm the director of the Open Spaces Coalition.

- We fight suburban sprawl.

- What's suburban sprawl?

Ask Steven. He could have used a little

suburban sprawl in Sudan.

Excuse me, Dad?

Industry, houses,jobs,

restaurants, medicine--

You can preserve a lot of open spaces

and have jobs for people with--

- I beg your pardon, Albert. I wasn't finished.

- Sorry, sir.

Clothes, videos, toys, cheeseburgers, cars,

a functioning economy.

You can still have a functioning economy and

preserve open spaces with a little planning.

- Yeah.

- Socialism. Complete disaster.

- Theodore Roosevelt was a socialist? And Yeats?

- Theodore Roosevelt--

Henry David Thoreau, Robinson Jeffers,

the National Geographic Society, all socialists?

-You're talking about socialism.

-No, I'm not. I'm talking about...

not covering every square inch

with houses and strip malls...

until you can't remember what happens

when you stand in a meadow at dusk.

- What happens in the meadow at dusk?

- Everything.

- Nothing!

- Everything!

- It's beautiful.

- It's beautiful.

i work for an electrical

engineering frm, son.

We do a lot of commercial

and residential contracts.

If development stops,

so does my paycheck.

Then Steven couldn't be here as our guest,

could he? So your ideas hurt Steven.

I'm not hurting Steven.

That's an outrageous accusation.

- Don't use that tone of voice in my house.

- I think you started that tone.

And I think it's entirely possible for your

engineering firm to have jobs for people...

preserve open spaces,

have contracts, do the--

[ Boy Laughs ]

Whoa.

[ Boy Laughs ]

Whoa.

- What's he doing?

- Why's he closing his eyes?

[ Whispering ]

Cricket, I don't know.

- Do you have a job, Tom?

- I'm a firefighter.

Oh, God bless you. A hero.

I'm not a hero. We'd all be heroes if we

quit using petroleum though.

- Excuse me?

- Say you're Christians living

byJesus' principles. Are you?

Jesus is never mad at us if we

live with him in our hearts.

I hate to break it to you, but he is.

He most definitely is.

All right. That's enough. Steven, I don't know

what this is about. Why they're here--

- Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad. I did not know.

- Stevo, I'm so disappointed.

It's all right.

Look, he's sad. He's sad.

i'm sorry, Stevo.

My bad. You didn't know.

- You should be ashamed of yourself.

- i should be what?

- You should be ashamed of yourself.

- Why should I be ashamed?

- You're a hypocrite.

- i'm a what?

You're misleading these children.

'Cause you're the destroyer, man.

- How am I the destroyer?

- i saw that S.U. V. out there.

My car's the destroyer? You wanna know

how many miles per gallon I get?

Steven, I need to ask a question.

It's why I came here.

Why are autographs

so important to you?

It is a pastime with this family

which they have taught me.

- Which I can now carry on.

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