I Love You, Beth Cooper Page #7

than I imagined.

You're real.

And scary.

(LAUGHING)

And exciting and fun.

But I thought you said

this wasn't fun.

All my memories from

high school are from tonight.

You gotta get out more often.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Where are you

going to college?

NYU.

- What are you majoring in?

- Acting.

- Shut up. Shut up!

- Mm-hm. Yeah.

- Me too.

- Really?

- Yeah, and directing.

- Wow.

If you wanna be an actress,

why weren't you in Drama Club?

- Social survival.

- That's a good call.

Mm-hm.

So who is your

favorite director?

Hello,

it was a threesome.

Wow.

I know high school

wasn't great for you.

No, it was...

...completely awful.

You see, the thing is,

high school was great for me.

I had a great, great ride.

And now it's over.

You, you're gonna go off

and become a doctor...

...and cure cancer or whatever

new diseases there are.

But this?

This is about it for me.

Everything in my life from here

on out is just gonna be...

...ordinary.

Wow.

That's such...

...bullshit.

Heh.

Because the Beth Cooper

I know?

The one that I now know...

...is the most alive person

I've ever met.

The Beth Cooper I know...

...she's not gonna have

an ordinary life.

She's gonna have an amazing life.

Slightly insane...

...but never uninteresting...

...always ass-kicking...

...life.

How do you know that?

Because I'm a very smart guy.

MRS. COO VERMAN:
All right,

thank you very much.

MRS. COO VERMAN:
All right,

thank you very much.

MR. COO VERMAN:

Any luck?

MRS. COO VERMAN:
No, they can't

send anyone out till next week.

MR. COO VERMAN:

Explain this to me:

How do you put

a microwave into the wall?

MRS. COO VERMAN:

God only knows.

Oh, hi. I need to get

my kitchen repaired.

MR. COO VERMAN:

Haven't I seen that car before?

MRS. COO VERMAN:

Oh!

Denis!

What happened to you?

I'm okay. I'm okay.

I can't talk about this.

I'm gonna go make pancakes.

Or did she already

make you breakfast?

(WHIMPERS)

Wow.

- I talked to your dad, Rich.

- Yeah?

You might wanna hang out here

for the rest of the day.

- Okay.

MR. COO VERMAN:
And tomorrow.

- Okay.

- You know, just until it's safe.

Got it. Thanks.

- I hope you had fun.

- I did.

You know we have to

punish you, somehow?

Yeah. Figured that.

What do they do these days?

Do they still ground you?

- I don't even know.

- I don't know either.

But...

...whatever it is,

it was worth it.

Let's not tell

your mother that.

Yeah.

- We can discuss it inside.

- Okay.

So...

Good luck with Stanford

and everything.

Yeah. You know,

you too, with everything.

We should do this again

sometime.

Sure.

Yeah, sure.

You're getting better at that.

I was bad before?

(LAUGHING)

Thank you...

...for loving me.

What's not to love?

You remember that.

Hey, Beth.

- See you at the reunion.

- Yes.

If we're both still single,

I'll marry you.

That's a promise.

RICH:

My lady.

DENIS:

Drive safe.

- So guess what?

- Hm?

I think I'm gay.

Yeah?

Oh, that's great,

congratulations!

Dude.

I'm not gay for you.

Yeah, no, I know.

- You know, I could be bi.

DENIS:
Bi?

RICH:
I was with two

gorgeous ladies last night.

That's a lot more

heterosexual than you.

DENIS:
Well, hey,

I did kiss Beth Cooper.

RICH:
Now you gotta

take it to the next level.

DENIS:
I will. I'm not really

gonna wait for the reunion.

I'll leave a message on Facebook,

ask her out.

RICH:
No, it has to be

a grand gesture.

DENIS:
Like what?

RICH:
You know where she lives.

Go to her house,

bring a boom box, wait for her.

DENIS:

That's stalking, Rich.

RICH:
No, it's not stalking

if you love the person.

Grab her and take her someplace

where it can be just the two of you.

DENIS:

Now, that's kidnapping.

RICH:

It's romantic.

Okay, first we're gonna need

some rope and duct tape.

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