I Love You, Daddy Page #5

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I-I don't really know what to do.

I know that sounds

really lame, right?

- No. No.

- Don't say it out loud.

It sounds wonderful.

It's exciting.

Exciting?

Yes, because

once you decide what to do,

then you're gonna be faced with

hard work and confusion

and disappointment.

Right now, all you have is potential.

You can literally do

anything you want.

Until you decide what to do,

at which point,

you'll only be able to either

fail or succeed at that choice.

Wow.

You make it

sound a lot better than it seems.

I kinda wish I had some sort of

direction.

Yeah, well, you know,

don't be in such a hurry.

Take this from a director.

Direction is overrated.

Rudderless is a wonderful,

underrated lifestyle choice.

Who needs a rudder?

- Uh...

- I feel-I feel um...

I feel really weird talking to you.

Why?

Because my Dad...

he worships you.

He literally spends his entire career

trying to be just like you.

And I don't like you.

You don't like me?

I'm crushed.

I thought I was making

a terrific impression.

Is it my teeth? Do I smell?

I mean, it's...

it's what I've heard about you.

What you've heard about me?

Yeah.

You know, about...

Okay, well, look, I haven't heard

anything about you, for instance.

I can only go by

what I see in front of me.

In meeting you, um, in my experience,

that's the best thing to go by.

And as far as I can see,

you seem like a boorish

and rude person with no boundaries.

In other words,

I think you're terrific.

And if I read something

terrible about you later,

I won't believe it.

I don't know.

Well, that's the only honest response.

Yeah, oh, my God.

You're having lunch with

- Leslie Goodwin?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Out of control!

- That's actually happening tomorrow.

I-they-his office called to set it up

after I met him at that party.

Uh-huh.

And he wants

to come and talk to me

at lunch about writing and TV.

- Movies and? Oh, my God!

- Yeah.

A-and you gotta ask him

if he touched that kid.

Wha-what?

I bet no one's ever just

come right out and asked him.

Like just go, "Hey, hey, man,

"did you really do like, you know,

sex stuff with the kid?"

This is a huge opportunity, Glen.

I'm not gonna ask him that, Ralph.

Jesus. It's-that's a rumor.

Yeah. But then, you know, if he's

he'll just deny it

and you change the subject.

It's no big deal.

I could maybe work with the

best writer-director like, ever

and you want me to ask him

about a f***ed up unproven story.

He was never even

charged with that.

I'm just saying, if you don't ask him,

you're being a great big p*ssy, man.

You're crazy.

Grace Cullen on line 2.

This is the best day ever.

You're having

the best day ever.

Ah, speaker phone, please.

Speaker phone?

Speaker? Speaker?

Speaker phone. Speaker phone.

Put it on speaker phone.

Speaker phone.

Spe-spe-spe-spe-spe-spe-spe-spe

Hi!

Hi! Oh. Hey, I've been meaning

to call you every day.

I've been working so much.

I just wanted to say

thank you so much

for coming to my party last week.

And for bringing China.

She's adorable.

That's really nice. No, you...

Thank you for having us.

How's it going with the writing?

You know what? I wanted to

talk to you about that.

Glen, I want you to know

I'm not trying to steal that part.

I'm really not.

I just looking in on you.

It's not about me.

Listen, Grace.

I've been unable to write this show

because I don't know who

these people are.

I feel like in my mind

if it's you...

I'll be able to get there.

Wow. Jeez. Glen.

You did tell me that

if I ever wanted to work with you

that I should talk to you about it.

I did. I did say that.

Okay, so, what do you say?

You wanna play this part?

Glen, I'm dying to work with you.

Yes.

Great.

Great.

Um, listen, I'm gonna get off the phone

because this is good. Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Um, bye Grace.

I'm excited.

Bye.

Dude.

You are the master.

You are the master, man.

Here I am, I'm telling you,

and you just showed me.

- Oh, wow.

- No, no, no, no

Don't deny it, I mean.

I feel like I just saw your dick

go inside her.

Hey, that's-that's gross.

She's pregnant.

Well, yeah, she's gross now.

But as soon as she

gets the baby out,

hey, man, you're gonna be

the only one gettin' in there.

Right? So that's the genius of it.

- That is the genius of it!

- No, no, no, no.

Now, Ralph, I didn't-

- I'm not trying to f*** her.

- Ho-ho-ho-ho.

I just cast her in my show.

Oh, think about how much

money and p*ssy you are getting

from the show

that doesn't even exist.

All right, stop. Seriously.

Glen.

We need to go over the schedule.

I'm just making dates

based on uh,

cast availability, since I have no

scripts or outlines

or locations or anything,

so I'm just making, you know,

basic production schedule

based on talking to the reps.

Trying to make the days

with the actors, so...

You're gonna have

to make some changes.

I-make some changes?

Like, what ch-what changes?

I'm replacing Jordana.

Replacing Jor-I just

got off the phone with her.

We're... with whom?

With Grace Cullen.

Grace Cullen, the pregnant lady?

Yeah.

- She's pregnant.

- Okay.

Well, so, the character

can be pregnant, Paula.

But then she will have a baby.

I mean, you know that's

how pregnancy ends, right?

- A person then has a baby.

- Yeah, not always.

- Sometimes you get an abortion.

- Not always.

Not always because...

I mean I doubt you can

talk her into an abortion.

- But I'm just saying it's a good idea.

- Dear God.

So, then the rest of the series,

this person's going to have a baby.

Yes?

- The rest of the series?

- That's right, I'm gonna make it work.

It's gonna be okay.

She's a big movie star!

Okay, so then you-this is-you-

this is done?

Yes, I-I hired Grace.

You hired Grace,

so then I have to fire Jordana.

Yes.

It's a clear upgrade to me.

Shut up, Ralph.

So, you-you were gonna make me um,

fire Jordana

and redo the sch-well, actually,

just scrap the schedule.

'Cause we have nothing now.

Yes?

I'm sorry, that's what's called for.

- Okay, called for by?

- Me.

Ooh, the man takes charge.

Shut up, Ralph.

Glen, what are we doing?

You know, what is it that we do here?

Like what...

what is this company even anymore?

Same as always.

We're doing the same thing

we always did, Paula.

Okay, so this is our

artistic imperative, right?

You are firing your lead actress

and hiring a pregnant movie star

because clearly, she's the

only person on the planet

who could possibly

play this role

in this show that is

very important to you.

Right? We're-we're working hard and

and we're-we're doing

unpleasant things

because we're making art.

Yes?

Paula, take it easy.

I have Leslie Goodwin's office on 1.

Thank you.

Oh! Speaker, speaker,

speaker, speaker, speaker.

Hello?

Oh.

Okay, sure. I understand.

Thank you. Yeah.

They just canceled

my lunch with Leslie.

- Aw, bummer!

- Yeah.

I'm sorry, Glen. I knew

you were looking forward to that.

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