I Love You, Daddy Page #6

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Ah, It's a bummer.

I'm just gonna go

fire that woman now.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Hi!

- Hi, Paula.

- Hi, honey. How are you?

- Hi, Daddy.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi. Good.

- Hi, Ralph.

- Hey, China.

- What's all this, then?

- Oh, I was just in the neighborhood.

And I miss you,

and I wanted to come say hi.

And that I love you.

Well, you're cheerin' me up!

- Why, what's wrong?

- Ah, nothin'.

Oh, your dad was supposed to have

lunch with the great, Leslie Goodwin,

but his office called and

canceled, so he's sad.

Oh, well, he's going to Europe tonight.

For some movie

he's starting in the summer.

Oh, what did he say? He said...

Oh, that he needed to go get some

"Italian money."

Yeah.

Why-why do you know that, China?

Oh, well, I was just with him.

You were...

You were with Leslie Goodwin?

Yeah.

God, isn't that weird?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's weird.

Well, it's not that weird.

He likes young girls.

Oh, yes, he does.

Why were you with Leslie Goodwin?

Oh, I was shopping for shorts

at Barney's and, well, there he was.

- By himself?

- Mm-hmm.

What was Leslie Goodwin

doing by himself

in the women's department

at Barney's?

Oh, um... Well, he goes there to...

Get this:

To look at young girls.

He said that.

I said, "What are you doing here?"

And he said...

Oh, I actually come here quite often

because this is where all of

Manhattan's elite girls come

and I like looking at them.

You like looking at young girls?

Sure, who doesn't.

I mean, if you had a choice between

looking at a pretty girl your age

or a retired bus driver,

who would you choose?

Anyway, h-he's kinda gross,

you know?

But he's hilarious.

I'm an appreciator

of fine things, China.

I enjoy chamber music,

certain abstract sculpture,

and private school

Manhattan girls

who shop at Barneys.

And by the way, so does-

so does everybody else.

Look at this guy over here...

staring at you.

He's a pervert.

Oh, my God.

And you're-you're not a pervert, then?

Sure, I'm a pervert, but

at least I'm talking to you

like a normal human being

instead of leering at you

like you're a roast chicken.

I'm interested in the whole person.

It's not just about your

perfect body.

It's about where you are

in this journey of life and humanity.

Really?

Yes.

This time in life that you're living,

China, will never come again.

It's not just your age,

it's your age

at this moment in history

in this country, in this town,

in this particular

department in Barney's.

The who you are, the where

you are, the when you are,

I appreciate all of that.

Yeah, I'm very aware that

you "appreciate" young girls, but

you don't listen.

You're doing all the talking.

You know what? You're right.

That's absolutely fair.

That's correct.

And I realize that that comment is

meant to shame me into shutting up.

But you know what,

I'm gonna keep talking.

Because people your age

tend to think in short bursts.

Because you've

experienced less time.

You haven't yet understood how

very, very long this conversation is.

- Oh, really?

- Yes.

And I'm only, in fact,

in the first stanza

of the first paragraph.

And when it's your turn,

you're going to

have to go on as long.

- Oh, well, I-I...

- Oh, wait, no, no.

Still my turn.

Oh, here, we have the standard.

Never dies.

The gold bikini

should come with a vial of cocaine.

God, I wouldn't be

caught dead in that thing.

Hmm, if you were,

you wouldn't be the first.

Hmm.

Now this one

is actually pretty cute.

Yeah, that's something.

You should try it on.

You didn't try it on

though, did you?

I think maybe she did?

Well, sure, I did.

Now, that is a perfect outfit.

I call that "The Brat with No Goals".

You wear that to the pool

where you treat everyone like crap

until your father hires a pool boy

from El Salvador

who teaches you

how to hallucinate

by licking certain toads.

He had a character and

a story for every outfit.

Now, this is what

you were wearing

when you were abducted

by Russian slave traders.

And it looked terrific at first

but by the time you get to Minsk

it was all dirty because

you've been duct taped for a week.

I don't know, it was fun.

Oh.

That guy is the master.

He is the master.

And then, we went to the park.

We started listening

to this guitar player.

But there was this

saxophone player.

Well, you couldn't hear

either of them

'cause they were just

drowning each other out.

So Leslie convinces

the guitar player

to come over and play

with the saxophone player.

And still no one really

wanted to listen, so...

Leslie goes to this

ice cream vendor

and he starts buying

ice creams and just

handing them out to people to-

to attract a crowd.

God, it was just...

It was the best

f***ing time that I have had in...

in years.

China!

What?

Well...

What happened then?

Um...

Nothing.

'Cause he had to go

and so he left

and I came to see you.

So, Daddy, do you wanna

go get some dinner?

Or do you guys wanna go home?

I'm kinda hungry.

It's so beautiful.

Well, yeah, sure.

What does that mean?

Well, I mean, we're rich and

we're on a private beach.

Of course, it's beautiful.

You mean the world is ugly

if you don't have money?

Yeah.

Well, I can't wait to read

what you've been writing.

Yeah, no, I'll get-

I'll give you something really soon.

I really like uh...

I like being around you.

Yeah, me too.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's so funny

when you're miserable.

Uh-huh.

It's very funny.

Okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, Leslie called me yesterday,

he told me about Paris.

What about-

what about Paris?

That he's taking China.

I'm sorry, what?

Yeah, he told me that...

You're saying you didn't know?

- What are you talking about?

- Oh, I, I...

- What are you talking about?

- Sh*t.

I thought...

I thought you knew.

- Uh-huh.

- Sh*t.

Sorry.

China!

Yeah? I'm in here, Daddy.

Hi.

What's up? Are you okay?

Uh, I've been told

that you're going to Paris?

With Leslie Goodwin?

Oh, yeah. I uh, I was gonna

tell you about that, actually.

You were gonna tell me?

- Well...

- When were you gonna tell me?

When? When were you

gonna tell me?

When you get back from France?

- No, Daddy.

- This isn't funny.

China, you're a-a minor.

You can't just

go to Paris with some

- f***ing...

- Daddy.

Well, you're not going.

- What?

- You're not going.

This is-this is unbelievable.

Y-y-you're not going

to Paris with him.

Daddy, it isn't just me going.

It's a trip he puts together

for a bunch of people.

And he's just including me.

Because they all go and they

see a bunch of French theater.

And I told him I'm thinking

of getting into theater.

And he said it'd

be good for me.

He said... since when?

Since when?

Have you been seeing him?

- No, Dad.

- China, look at me.

Have you been seeing him?!

No, Daddy, i-it's a big trip.

And I am inspired about going.

You told me to start

thinking about my future.

You're not going.

I'm going.

No, you're not!

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