I Married a Witch Page #5

because of my ancient curse

on the Wooleys.

Do you think

if I explained it all to him

By all means do.

Telling a mortal you're a witch

will only mean the end of you.

Then what shall I do?

He must not marry her.

You won't let him, will you?

- Let me think.

- You could make him love me.

You can do

anything you want.

Yes.

This problem should be

fairly simple.

- Just leave it all to me.

- Oh, thank you, Father!

- Will you leave it to me?

- I promise.

Splendid.

[ Chuckles ] I'm still

a little bit warm from the fire.

Jennifer, fetch me a pair

of Master Wooley's breeches.

We're going to his wedding.

I love you truly

Truly

Dear

Life with its sorrows

Life with

Its tears

Here, drink this.

- What is it?

- Novocain. 120 proof.

- Down fast, brother.

- If that girl ever gets

out of my house

Drink that.

Suppose she comes here?

It'll be terrible for Estelle.

Oh, you'll be all right,

and I'll be sitting pretty.

- [ Instrumental Interlude ]

- There's your cue.

Just play

"I'm a seeing-eye dog" now.

- Can't you smile?

- You know I wanted

a church wedding.

You've had everything else

your own way.

I should never have given in

to Wallace. It's the last time.

She's not here.

Stop worrying.

[ "Bridal March" ]

Smile.

- [ Wind Gusting ]

- [ Women Screaming ]

[ All Clamoring ]

Close that door!

It's a hurricane!

- My veil is ruined!

- Go back and wait.

I'm terribly sorry.

There'll be a short delay till we get

everything straightened out.

Music, music!

Sing something.

I love you truly

That's all I needed:

a hurricane on my wedding day.

Never mind about that.

She just blew in!

- What?

- I saw her in the doorway.

- What'll I do?

- I'll think of something.

Beloved,

this is my father.

Delighted, Master Wooley.

You've made a mistake.

This is a private room.

It's rather crowded downstairs,

and a bit windy. [ Chuckles ]

Be seated, Master Wooley.

I should like to have a talk with you.

Look here. I'm being

married in two minutes.

- I understand those were your plans.

- "Were?" He is. Nothing you can do

- Would you excuse us?

- Maybe you'd better.

Hurry up.

I'll stand guard.

Let me fix your pretty tie.

You see, Father?

He's just like a Greek god.

My little one tells me

she was your overnight guest.

- Not at my invitation.

- Oh, no, Father.

The poor sweet

didn't want me to stay.

Were I an ordinary man,

Master Wooley...

a horsewhipping

would no doubt be in order.

But I am not

an ordinary man.

While examining

your dwelling...

- I came upon... this.

- My revolver!

You can't force me

to marry her.

What a banal mind you have.

You may hold the weapon.

- What is this?

- It's very simple.

Here is a bruised flower.

I am her father.

That is your revolver.

You are going to shoot me.

I... am going to shoot you?

Will that be of help?

Now, now.

Father knows best.

Warm, Master Wooley?

You don't know

what warmth is.

I am told one of your forebears

made a hobby of bonfires.

What a pity

he cannot be here...

to see

his descendant burn.

Yes, Master Wooley.

Burn.

In the modern way.

Strapped in a chair...

heated by electricity.

I anticipated that.

Pistol, pistol, let there be...

murder in the first degree.

Thank you so much.

Amusing invention,

the electric chair.

[ Chuckles ]

What will they think of...

next?

- What's happened?

- Uh

- It was an accident!

- 'Twas no accident.

He killed me in cold blood.

Kindly notify the authorities.

Oh, he's frightened you.

He told me he'd help me.

- [ Wallace ] How is he?

- He's dead.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

"Doesn't matter"?

Her own father!

Oh, but that's not

my father.

That's just a body

he picked up.

I didn't do it, Dudley!

You'll be my witness!

All right.

Well, I wasn't here!

[ Groaning ]

[ Instrumental Interlude ]

He's as nervous as a bride.

One might think

they were going to hang him.

It's up to you.

Now, tell them.

What have I got

to do with it?

You're handling the...

details of the wedding.

[ "Bridal March" ]

[ Gasping, Clamoring ]

I love you truly

Truly

Empty! I thought

I saw smoke come out.

I know

you're here somewhere.

How could you, Father?

You know I love him!

[ Daniel ] That's exactly

why I've disposed of him.

- Where are you?

- [ Cackling ]

For tonight I'll merry, merry be

For tonight I'll merry, merry be

For tonight

I'll merry, merry be

Tomorrow I'll be sober

- [ Cackling ]

- Come out of that bottle.

- Come out!

- Oh, no.

[ Chuckles ]

I could float here forever.

Well, you're not going to.

- [ Woman Shrieks ]

- [ Wallace Gasps ]

Wally!

Don't go upstairs!

- But maybe she killed herself.

- Now, Wally Wally

- What's wrong with him?

- I think we'd better call the police.

- What's he done?

- It's the other fellow.

- What other fellow?

- The one in the chair.

Keep calm. I'll be right back.

- [ Exclaims ]

- Estelle! Estelle!

Ah, love, 'tis something

To feel

Now, you get back

in that body.

No. I didn't like it.

It's an old, fat body.

Then I'll tell Wally

what we are.

Knowing what would then

happen to you?

- Yes.

- Heh. You wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't I?

You're all right?

[ Jennifer ] Wally, darling,

there's something I must tell you.

[ Gasps ]

Look!

- I thought you said he was dead!

- Well, he is!

[ Drunkenly ]

A fine way to take advantage...

of a father's affection.

Now hearken

to a father's curse.

I'm going

to turn you into a frog.

Frog, frog,

sitting on a log

What's the next line?

You wait till I sober up.

You'll be sorry.

[ Woman Gasps ]

For tonight

I'll merry, merry be

Tomorrow I'll be sober

- What did you want the police for?

- It's all right now.

He fell out the window.

- He what?

- Not Wally. The other fellow.

- Unhand me,

foul minions of the law!

- Take it easy, Pop.

I'm going to cast a spell upon you.

From now on, you're a rat!

Rat, rat,

fatter than the cat

- How does the rest of it go?

- So I'm a rat, huh?

- Call the wagon.

- Come on.

If I could only

remember the words...

I could turn you

into kangaroos.

They're taking him away.

Why didn't I have them

take you too?

Perhaps because

you're beginning to love me.

- Please don't start that again.

- Wally!

I thought Father would be friendly.

I wouldn't let him

or anyone else harm you.

- Oh, I know you wouldn't.

- But it's true!

Last night I was your enemy,

but now I've changed.

I love you.

I'll always love you.

- If I could die,

I would do that for you.

- Will you just be a sweet girl?

- Hey, they're ready.

- Good-bye.

- Where are you going?

- I told you before

But I thought that now,

after all I've done for you

You've been very obliging, but now

I'm going downstairs to be married.

That's what you think.

[ Instrumental Interlude ]

[ Jennifer Screams ]

Wally!

You gotta go through

with it this time.

I'll take care of her.

[ "Bridal March" ]

Hurry up, hurry up.

Let's get this over with.

He'll pay for this.

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