I Think I Love My Wife Page #6

I won't get mad.

You didn't promise.

(whispering):
Okay, I promise.

Will you come with me to get my

stuff out ofTeddy's apartment?

Didn't you hear me tell you

I'm in a meeting?

Not today,

tomorrow.

Fine.

Okay? I got to go now.

Have a good meeting.

LANDIS:

Oh, and what were your plans?

Three kids?

LANDIS:
Yeah, could be better.

(door closes)

Small family emergency.

It's under control.

MR. BOYD:

Hey, Richard, copy that.

( car horns honking)

RICHARD:

All right, so where's this guy live?

'Cause I got things to do.

Shuttle's in, like, 45 minutes.

Shuttle?

Wh-What are you

talking about, shuttle?

To D.C.

Remember I told you,

we have a place there,

and he's out of town, so

now I can get my sh*t.

I'm not going with you to D.C.

You promised.

I didn't promise to go

with you to another state.

It's not a state, it's a district.

It's, like, a 30-minute flight.

You must be

out of your f***ing mind

if you think I'm getting

on a plane to Washington D.C.

To go to some guy's house

to get your sh*t!

GEORGE:
Richard?

Richard, yeah.

Uh, I have one question for you:

Where the f*** are you?

No, no, no, don't worry.

I'll be there.

Yeah, something just came up.

Look, just get here, okay?

I told you I need you on this one.

Tell Mary that

if Nikki calls,

I'll call her tomorrow.

Tell her yourself when you get here.

You're a good liar.

Listen, we're getting

on the 1:
00 shuttle,

not a moment later, okay?

'Cause I got a meeting at 3:00.

Okay.

(siren blaring)

NIKKl:
Right here.

- Here?

- Uh-huh.

What are all these cops doing here?

Oh, it's kind of

a crazy neighborhood.

Something's always going down.

- We'll be right back.

- Okay.

(indistinct police radio

transmission)

So how many cities

have you lived in

- with this Teddy guy?

- Hey, police! Open up in there!

- Uh, here, and New York.

- Open up in there!

In Miami, I lived with his brother.

That's where I met him.

Wait a minute,

you lived with a guy,

then you left him for his brother?

How'd you pull that off?

I got a hard enough time

telling my wife I want pancakes.

We're in.

All right,

now that we're in,

I want you to

get your sh*t

and let's get out of here.

I'm just gonna grab

a few dresses, some shoes,

and then we'll go.

Okay.

Thank you.

Forget "Thank you,"just hurry up.

Teddy's doing pretty good.

Mm-hmm.

(sirens in distance)

You were on the math team

in high school?

For two years. Why?

I don't know.

Just can't imagine you

solving a problem.

My Ferretti sweater.

I had no idea where this was.

Richard Cooper's office.

Hi, Brenda.

Hey, somebody

around here's

got some nigga ears.

Excuse me?

Biz Markie's Greatest Hits.

That man is a genius.

The genius that wrote

"Pickin' Boogers."

- "Pickin' Boogers," "The Vapors"

- (laughing)

And of course, my favorite...

#You #

#You got what I need #

BOTH:

# But you say he's just a friend #

# But you say

he's just a friend #

# Oh, baby, you #

(grunts)

#You got what I need. #

(both laughing)

(music winds down, stops)

Okay, Teddy, calm down.

You know you got two strikes.

There's cops all over the place.

(drops keys)

How the f*** y'all get in here, man?

Huh?

Who the f*** are you?

Huh?

What, this the new nigga?

You f***ing him now? Huh?

You the new nigga, man?

No, no, I'm-I'm not the new nigga.

I've n-never been the nigga,

I'm just a... friend.

How's it going?

Richard Cooper.

Oh!

- Teddy!

- Motherf***er!

Teddy, what the f***'s

wrong with you?!

- You bring this stupid-ass nigga

- Stop it!

- In my f***ing crib?!

- Teddy!

- (screaming)

- Help!

- F*** you!

- Somebody help!

- Take the boot! Take the boot!

- Somebody help us!

Take the motherfucking boot!

Hi, Mr. Landis, it's Tracy.

You like the taste, huh?!

You like the taste?!

- Everybody freeze!

- You like the f***ing taste?!

Crunch it down, motherf***er!

- Hey! Get him now!

- What?!

He's in a conference meeting.

- Everyone all right?

- TEDDY:
We good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

This motherf***er

broke into my crib...

with this b*tch here!

(all screaming)

Thug life! Thug life!

- Thug life!

- (police shouting)

Thug life, nigga!

Thug life!

Wait, wait, wait, we can't do this.

- (two gunshots)

- F*** that!

RICHARD:
Oh, yes, we can!

TEDDY:
Thug f***ing life!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What the hell is wrong with you?!

He could've killed us!

You told me he was out of town!

- Sorry!

- And the damn cops coming here!

What the hell is wrong with you?!

I should be in a meeting right now!

No, no.

No, no, no!

Could you hurry up?

(woman speaking indistinctly

over intercom)

(metal detector beeping)

(high-pitched

electrical whining)

I don't care about "Thriller."

What kind of grown man

has kids sleeping in his bed?

He'll never babysit my kids.

Look, we don't have all day.

LANDIS:
I'm-I'm sorry, Mr. Yuni.

I'm-I'm sure

Mr. Cooper will be here

in a moment with the prospectus.

( clears throat)

(whispering):
Where the f*** is he?

I'm sure he's got

a good explanation.

(groans)

Excuse me.

George, there's a call

for you in your office.

Ah. Excuse me.

Actually, I like "Thriller."

Michael's last big one.

Yeah.

I knew he was gonna

be a star, you know,

when I saw him on Ed Sullivan.

WOMAN:

All flights in and out

of New York LaGuardia

have been delayed

possibly three to four hours.

Thank you for your patience.

George...

I've been trying to cover for you.

They want to start-

where the f*** are you?

Landis is pissed.

I'm not going to make it.

Oh, f***!

F***!

Hey, Anita.

How you doing?

George, calm down.

You can do this.

You can handle it.

- Just calm down.

- No...

Goddamn it,

Richard!

You're killing me!

I hope she's worth it.

( exhales)

F***!

I'm afraid we either

have to get started

or we have to go.

We have another appointment.

Can we get started?

Of course.

Absolutely.

Okay, um...

Mr. Yuni, my apologies, uh, but

I have been working very closely

- (Yuni speaking Japanese)

- With Mr. Cooper on this

and I'm prepared

to walk us through it.

(men speaking Japanese angrily)

Um, if you take a look

at, uh, page two...

I'm sorry, page... three.

( clears throat)

Performance chart from 19...

(men, woman speaking Japanese)

(TV playing in background)

Hey, baby, you're late.

What happened?

(sighs) I got in a fight.

A fight?

What hap... Why?

What happened?

I was pulling the car

out the lot,

and this guy cut me off,

and he gets out of his car,

then I got out of my car,

and, next thing I know,

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