iCarly: iGo to Japan Page #2

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The pain helps you learn,

But I didn't say it wrong!

I was asking you to repeat it!

-Who are you yelling at?

-Him, the Japanese Learning Wizard.

He teaches me Japanese phrases,

and if I don't say them right,

he shocks me with this collar.

I hate it!

-So take the collar off.

-I can't!

It's magnetically locked

until you get past Level One.

How are you today?

- ...what?

-No, no, no.

The pain helps you learn,

The pain is melting my throat!

So, what's with her?

Oh, she teaches you how to speak

Swedish. I bought her when I bought him.

-Why, 'cause she's hot?

-Well, not just 'cause... Yes.

Okay, so what's this other show

we're competing against?

It's a Japanese web show

called Kyoko and Yuki,

They're Japanese?

Great, then they'll have

a home court advantage.

Just put their web show on.

No one's paying you to look pretty.

No one's paying me at All.

-Just click the thingy.

-Okay.

Kyoko and Yuki,

Just teach me

how to play this guitar!

You are the worst student

l have ever taught!

Why do you play the guitar so badly?

L don't know!

-Well, just try!

-Okay!

-Play better!

-I'm trying!

Okay, they're kind of funny.

-Definitely.

-Well, yeah, but you guys are funnier.

Thanks. We just have

to come up with something

totally hilarious to do at the competition.

Okay.

How about you and I play

two kids at a birthday party,

trying to break open a piata?

And let me guess,

Freddie plays the piata?

Yes.

Why does every idea you have

involve hitting me with a stick?

Come on. Let's watch them a little more

so we know exactly

what we're up against.

Well, I'm not worried.

Kyoko and Yuki aren't that funny.

Oh, no! A bee!

-I've seen funnier.

-We'll beat those guys easy.

All right, they're hilarious.

Okay, okay, turn it off!

All right, let's face it,

Kyoko and Yuki are really funny.

-But...

-They're really funny!

So is iCarly,

-We're gonna win that iWeb Award.

-Right.

And even if we don't win, I mean,

it's still an honor

just to be nominated, right?

Yeah, and win or lose,

we still get a free trip to Japan.

Whoa, whoa. I don't wanna hear

this "or lose" talk, All right?

-But I just meant that...

-Saying "or lose" is like giving up.

Carly, when Miss Briggs told us

we couldn't pick the kids

to be in the talent show,

-did you give up?

-No.

And what about the time

those cops were chasing me

and yelling at me to stop running.

-Did I give up?

-No, you kept running.

And, Freddie, have you ever given up

your hope that one day Carly

might love you?

-No.

-Well, you should.

Anyway, we are gonna beat

Kyoko and Yuki

and win that iWeb Award.

You're right. We just got to come up

with the funniest iCarly bit

we've ever done.

-Yeah!

-Absolutely!

-Good. Let's get to work.

-Right.

You guys start. I'm gonna go take a nap.

Hello, how are you?

You are one fine mama jama.

I'm sorry,

Yes.

Hey, Socko,

you talk to your buddy the pilot?

No way, yeah?

He can fly All of us to Japan?

Socko, who's better than you?

Okay, Ryan Seacrest is awesome,

but so are you!

Yeah, text me later.

So, you wanna come to Japan with me?

I'm sorry,

And now,

The Adventures of Melanie Higgles.

I'm Melanie Higgles!

Space cheerleader,

Oh, yeah! Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Uh-huh.

Melanie Higgles.

Oh, yeah! Uh-huh.

What's up? What's up? What's up?

Come to the dark side

of space cheerleading.

No way! Get outer my space!

Oh, yeah!

-Come to the dark side.

-No!

Grow!

-Get out!

-Join me!

-No way!

-You know you want to.

-You're super annoying!

-Come to the dark side!

-Give me an "ow"!

-Ow!

-Give me an "ow"!

-Ow!

-Give me an "ow"!

-Ow!

-Give me an "ow"!

-Ow!

And we're clear!

-So what'd you think?

-Hilarious. It's awesome.

-See?

-We've got our bit

-for the iWeb Awards.

-Yeah, we do.

-So what's next?

-Well, if you guys are interested,

I went online and found All kinds

of interesting facts about Japan.

Well, tell us.

Like when was Japan formed?

What's their economy like?

How does their culture differ from ours?

What are their major exports?

-Are they a democracy?

-How strong is their Navy?

What are the popular foods?

Does Japan have universal heath care?

They don't wanna know.

Sam, maybe you wanna come help us?

No, thanks.

I wanna get my heel really smooth.

Yeah, well, thanks for getting your

nasty foot dust All over our couch.

My mom is a nut case.

You're just now figuring that out?

-Just a few more, Freddie.

-No.

You need to be vaccinated.

But you've already given me 11 shots!

Yes, you're halfway done. Come here.

-No!

-Freddie! Come on, now.

I have a spatula.

Hey, we got to be at the airport

in 45 minutes.

I better finish packing.

-What are those, snacks?

-Uh-huh.

Fat Cakes?

These are low fat Fat Cakes.

For who?

The heath conscious Fat Cake eater?

-Just help me pack.

-Okay.

Just one last shot, Freddie.

Come across the hall

and I'll give it to you at home.

No, let's just do it here

and get it over with.

Um, this one doesn't go in your arm.

Well, then, where does it... Oh, man.

We'll meet you down in the lobby

-in five minutes.

-Hurry!

No, no, Mom, I don't want a shot.

It's gonna hurt so bad,

I'm gonna pass out.

-Okay, we ready?

-Let's see.

Pack suitcases. Done.

Turn off heat. Done.

Keys in pocket. Done.

Crumple list

and toss casually in trash can.

Close enough.

-Do you have the plane tickets?

-We don't need tickets.

Socko says we're gonna be

the only people on the plane.

-You got us a private jet?

-No.

-Better?

-No.

Come on. This way. Keep coming.

Oh, watch where you step.

So, your name is Freight Dog?

Yeah. And this is my pepperoni.

Well, thanks for letting me smell it.

This is your aeroplane?

Yep.

Wow. This is almost as nice

as a gas station men's room.

Thanks.

What are All the possums for?

That's my cargo on this trip.

Anything anybody wants transported

overseas, I fly it.

Are the possums safe?

No, ma'am, they're full of disease.

Okay! Let's fly!

Wait.

Where's the restroom on this plane?

Oh. Here you go.

If you guys fill that one up,

I got more buckets in the back.

Excuse me. I am not going to do

my business in this bucket.

-I am a lady.

-Oh, right.

Sorry. Here.

-That poor bucket.

-Yeah, you have no idea.

-This is insane.

-I know.

I can't believe I'm flying to Japan

on a cargo plane surrounded by possi.

-Possi?

-What is possi?

It's the plural of possum.

No, it's not.

One possum. Many possi.

That's so stupid.

It is not.

I'm having anxiety.

Okay.

-Are you cold?

-Little bit.

Maybe we should snuggle

close together,

-you know, to keep warm and...

-No.

All right.

Hey. Look at me with a possum.

Sam, don't eat him!

I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna eat him.

Sam, be careful with that thing.

You don't know where it's been.

Like we know where Sam's been.

How's everybody doing?

Shouldn't you be flying the plane?

What do you think this rope's for? See?

-We get it!

-Freight Dog!

Hey, why are you taking All these

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