If I Had My Way Page #6

You think you go home.

Goodbye, old friend.

Listen. You remember the time we

went to Minneapolis on a spree?

Yeah, and you dared me to jump

in the river and swim to St. Paul.

And I almost drowned.

Oh, I love to help my friends.

Yeah.

Now, now, now there's little

Pat. She's my friend, too.

I only wish I could help her.

We'll drink a toast to little

Pat. Yeah, a little toast to Pat.

To Pat.

Now I think I go home.

Look out, Axel. You'll break your

fool neck. That is a dangerous place.

Well, goodbye, old friend.

Goodbye, old friend.

Minnesota, Minnesota. Why didn't

I stay there like I ought to?

Oh, Pudding-face, I only wish

I could do something, you know.

I... I like to help my friends.

Now take Crack, that little squirrel. Yeah.

He's my little four-legged friend.

Axel, we drink a toast to Crack.

Yeah, we drink to anything.

To Crack.

Well, then, goodbye, old friend.

This time I think I stay awhile.

Well, here's our penthouse.

Not as swanky as Jarvis',

but the view is just as good.

Same moon, same stars.

And they're not particular

what side of town they shine on.

It's all the same to them.

I like it here, Buzz.

I like this river better, too.

Well, I'm glad you do, Pat.

I wouldn't feel so good if I thought you

were going to be unhappy when I went away.

Why, Buzz, you're not thinking

of leaving, are you?

Looks like I'll have to, Joe.

I've lined up a job in Nevada

that starts in about a week.

We'll hate to see you go, Buzz.

But don't worry about Pat.

We'll take good care of her.

Yes, I want to talk to you

about that.

Joe, I'm going to ask you

to do me a favor. Certainly.

Well, Pat'll be needing some things,

like school and clothes and...

And maybe she could be taking

some more singing lessons.

Well, we'll do

everything we can.

Yeah, I know you will, Joe.

But Axel is holding some money

that we both saved together

and, well, we want you to

take it, just in case...

Till things start breaking a

little better for you, you know.

I want you to take it, Joe.

You'll be doing me a big favor.

All right, Buzz.

Joe.

Go and talk to her.

Stargazing?

You didn't tell me

you were going away, Buzz.

Well, I didn't want

to spoil Axel's party.

But you said we'd always be together.

That's what you said, didn't you?

Sure. And that's the way

I'd like it to be, too.

Only, a fellow can't always

have his own way, you know.

I guess not.

Well, cheer up, be a pal.

Sure, Buzz, if that's the way

you feel about it.

You know how I feel about it.

If I had my way, dear.

Forever there'd be.

A garden of roses.

For you and for me.

A thousand and one things.

Dear, I would do.

Just for you.

Just for you.

Just for you.

If I had my way.

You would never grow old.

And sunshine I'd bring.

Every day.

You would reign all alone.

Like a queen on a throne.

If I had

my way.

Buzz? Pat? Yoo-hoo!

Where is everybody?

Hello, everybody!

Boy, have I got news. Boy,

have you got a snootful.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

Swedish punch, how strong you are.

Boy, have I got news. Yeah,

you said that. We heard that.

What's the matter, Axel? Did

you meet another old friend?

It's more better than that.

Well, tell us, Axel.

It's Gustav.

He's going back to Minnesota.

Well, what did he do

with the Swedish garden?

That's the news. He sold it.

Sold it? Tonight?

Tonight, while I was there.

Oh, man, I pity the poor guy who put

up good dough for that deserted dinette.

Who bought it? We did.

We did.

What? Yes.

Is that that Swedish firewater

talking or are you on the level?

Oh, no, that ain't

the firewater, that's me.

Are you crazy?

No, look. Here's the keys and

here's the receipt, and look.

I paid cash for it, too.

Do you mean to say you gave

our dough to that Nordic nitwit

for a restaurant

that's starving to death?

Yes, and was he happy!

Take care of him, Joe. I'm going to

run down there and get our money back.

Hey, you'd better run fast. I just

put him on the train for Minnesota.

What's so funny about it?

You'll have to stay

in town now, won't you, Buzz?

Yeah.

Yeah.

How do you do, folks? Please

have a little more soup.

Waiter, bring these people some soup and

be sure there's plenty of noodles in there.

Buzz, can I see you a minute? No

complaint about the food, I hope.

No, no, I want you to meet

some friends of mine.

May I present Buzz Blackwell.

Mr. and Mrs. O'Brien.

How do you do? How do you do?

And this lady is Miss Grace La

Rue. How do you do, Mr. Blackwell?

How do you do, Miss La Rue?

You could have saved

that introduction, Joe.

I've seen you on the stage so many

times, I feel like we're old friends.

Oh, well, that's the way

I want you to feel.

The only thing I kind of miss, though,

is that big red hat you used to wear.

Here's the young lady

I told you about.

Pat, I want you to meet Trixie

Friganza and Julian Eltinge.

Hello, honey. How do you do?

Oh, I've seen pictures of you, Mr. Eltinge,

and you were dressed just like a lady.

Yes, but don't forget, I

always had a cigar in my mouth.

Trixie, what's this

I read about you retiring?

Oh, don't believe

everything you read, Marian.

You know Trixie

and her little bag of tricks.

Attention, everybody, please!

Folks, I want to thank you

for your patronage

and for coming here

on such short notice.

My friend who inherited this place last

night was worried about getting customers.

So I told him I knew a lot of show people

and that show people stick together.

I knew you wouldn't let me

down. How do you like the place?

How do you like the food?

Well, now I know you'd like

to meet the new manager.

My friend and a great fellow,

Buzz Blackwell.

$183.60.

Hey, Buzz, come here.

You know something?

Joe's friends was

pretty good spenders.

Hey, hey. Get away

from that pot of gold.

You're just the ringer-upper

around here, I'm the salter-awayer.

I was only going to put it

in our safe deposit vault.

After this, use that belt

just to hold up your pants.

You and that Gustav.

$183.60.

That's not a bad take for lunch,

and on our first day in business.

Hey, what is this?

Where's the rest of the money?

Where's the rest of what money?

Does that look like $183 to you?

Oh, that. We got signed checks for the rest.

They're right in that little pigeon coop.

Here. See? Right there.

That's the ones.

You mean all those people signed for

their lunch and you let them do it?

They're Joe's friends.

You know you can trust them.

Well, what are we going to use for money?

How about the butcher and the baker?

And the candlestick maker.

Yeah, are they going to trust us?

Well, why not?

They trusted Gustav. Look.

He owes them lots of money. See? What?

Oh, this is terrible, terrible.

What's the matter, Buzz? Oh, Pat.

We're through before we start.

That Swedish Jesse James left town owing

more money than we can earn in six months.

You mean

we are bankrupt already?

Maybe we could "yuggle"

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