If I Had My Way Page #7

the books.

It'll take some fancy "yuggling"

to balance our books, my friend.

Well, do we need a lot

of money, Buzz? Plenty.

Pat, this place is really

in hock.

Well, I think I'll see the chef

and find out what he knows about it.

Pat, where are you going?

Tell Buzz I'll see him later.

A young lady to see you, Mr.

Blair. Her name is Pat Johnson.

Pat Johnson? She says

her uncle is J.B. Johnson.

Oh. Tell her to come in.

Come on in, honey.

Hello, Pat. Hello, Mr. Blair.

Why didn't you tell me

who you were the other day?

Your uncle's

a very good customer of ours.

He is? Yes.

It's nice of you to call.

I don't usually have social

visitors during banking hours.

Oh, but this isn't a social

visit. I'm here on business.

Oh, I see. Well, in that case,

take a seat.

And now then, young lady,

will you please state

the nature of your business?

Well,

have some chocolate? Thank you,

I am very fond of chocolate.

Now, you were about to say... Oh, yes.

Well, Mr. Blair,

I came to withdraw some money.

You know, like those people

you showed me.

Oh, I see. And about how much

do you plan to withdraw?

Do you think

you could spare $5,000?

$5,000?

That's quite a lot of money.

I know,

but I need a lot of money.

Well, I think

we might scrape it up.

I assume, of course, you have

that much in your account.

Account? What's that? That's

the money you've put in.

You see, this bank has a rule.

Before you can take money

out, you have to put money in.

That's silly. If I wanted to take

it out, well, why would I put it in?

Your point's well-taken.

However, we have to

abide by our rules.

Now, we might arrange

to lend you some money.

I don't care how you do it,

as long as I get it.

That's the way most people feel.

Well, if you want the bank

to make you a loan,

what have you

to offer as security?

I don't know what that is.

Maybe I can explain.

Now, you have a chocolate bar

here that's worth 10 cents,

and you want

to borrow five cents from me.

I lend you the five cents and

you let me hold your chocolate bar

as a guarantee that you will

pay me back my nickel.

The chocolate bar would then

be what we call security.

Oh.

And when it's time

to pay me back,

I return your chocolate bar,

and you return my nickel,

plus two gumdrops interest.

I understand now.

Banks only lend money

to people who have money,

even if they've spent it

on something else.

Well, roughly, yes.

Well, thank you just the same,

Mr. Blair. Guess I'll be going.

Why don't you tell you uncle your

problem? Maybe he'd help you out.

Why, he's one of the people

I'm trying to get the money for.

Oh!

Goodbye. Goodbye, Pat.

I almost forgot my security.

Oh, good afternoon, gentlemen.

Is this table all right?

We won't need a table,

thank you.

Are you the new proprietor? Well,

I'm one of them. My name is Swenson.

How are you? I'm Harris of

the Friendly Finance Company.

We're here to be paid

or we'll attach the place.

Attach it to what?

Very funny.

But we'll have to collect, Mr.

Swenson, or we'll move our property out.

Oh, well, could you give us a little

more time? Say, maybe till Monday?

We're... We're kind of short

of cash, you know.

All right, Mr. Swenson,

you can have until Monday,

but that's

as long as we'll wait.

Oh, thank you. Could you

stay here a minute, please?

I'll go tell my partner.

Buzz? Buzz! Yeah, what is it?

The creditors are here

for their money.

Creditors? Already? Yeah,

but I talked them into

waiting until Monday. Monday?

Yeah, otherwise they attach us

to something.

But that's only three days.

We need more time than that.

You should have called me. Why

did you talk to these people?

Well, they talked to me first.

I'll show you how to handle this.

When I get through talking to them,

they'll give us all the time we want!

They can't do a thing

like that to us!

This place looks different

without any furniture.

Hey, move that stuff from

the kitchen out the back way.

Well, there he goes,

our old friend Gustav.

What could we do? I put the key in the

lock and closed the place, and that's that.

Just think. I told Gustav

I would find him a sucker.

You found one.

I'm sorry about those tabs,

Buzz, but you know how actors are.

They'll pay you

when they get it.

Oh, forget it, Joe. Those few dollars

aren't going to make us or break us.

What I'd like to do

is dig up some real money

and try and save

what we put into the place.

What do you think it'll cost?

Well, the creditors would probably be

satisfied with a couple of thousand dollars,

but it's not that, Joe. The

place needs a shot in the arm.

I'd like to redecorate it, you know,

and get a fresh start on the whole thing.

Buzz is right. Who wants

to sit in a Swedish garden?

Swedes.

Say, you know, meeting a

lot of those old-timers today

gave me a pretty good idea.

I'll bet the public would still

love to see them in action.

You take some of those stars of the past and

put them in a setting of the early 1900s,

and call the place The

Tin Type Club or something,

it might go pretty good, huh?

That's great.

And a lot of those people

could use work, too.

Yes. And those

that don't need the work

would jump at the chance

to get back in harness again.

That's a great idea all right,

but those creditors want cash,

not conversation.

Hello, Pat. Where did you

disappear to? I went to the bank.

The bank? Yes.

You said we needed some money, and

I thought sure I could get it there.

I'll bet you got a hearty welcome. Oh, yes.

Mr. Blair, that's the manager, was very

nice, but he couldn't break the rule.

What rule?

Banks only lend money

to people who have money.

That's a funny way

of putting it.

But I guess you can't expect

people to lend you money

unless they got a fair chance

of getting it back, can you?

Hello?

Jarvis. Well, it's a long time

since I've heard from you.

Jarvis? What does he want?

What are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking

about. Blair just called me.

Now, I don't want that kid

or any of the rest of you

using my name

to try to borrow money.

Jarvis, you're even sillier

than I thought you were.

Who'd lend a child like Pat $5,000

even with your important name?

Does he think we sent Pat to the

bank? Well, let me talk to that guy.

Listen, Johnson, this is

Blackwell, you remember me?

Very well, but I have nothing

to say to you.

Well, I have something to say

to you. Do you know what I think?

You're a heel. A flat,

miserable, rundown heel.

I'd make it stronger,

only there are ladies present.

All right, Blackwell,

now you listen to me.

Tell my relatives to stay out of my

life, or I'll take steps to keep them out.

That goes for them and you,

and that kid, too.

That suits me fine.

I'm taking care of Pat, and after meeting you

I'm tickled to death that's the way it is.

Give me that phone.

Listen, my dear nephew.

You just look out for your side of

the family and I'll look out for mine.

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