In and Out Page #6

---

Crazy for feelin'...

so blue.

I've seen all your movies.

Both of them?

you'd love me

as long as you wanted.

Kim, Karen, wait up!

Let's go, it's starting!

Is my cap on straight?

Hey, Jack.

Hey... Mr. Brackett.

Big day.

Yeah.

I can't believe it.

Congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.

Jack!

Come on, we're late!

Good luck next year.

You, too.

Indiana State

is lucky to have you.

Hail to thee...

O Greenleaf High.

'Neath the Indiana sky.

Through thy halls...

we spent our youth.

Seeking knowledge...

learning truth.

Like a friend...

who walks beside us...

Greenleaf High...

will always guide us.

We will love thee...

till we die.

Hail to thee...

O Greenleaf High.

That song always, uh...

reminds me of our...

our school motto...

Studiare...

imparare...

partire...

Study...

learn...

leave.

Before we hand out diplomas,

I have an announcement.

We've, uh...

Well, we've, uh...

we've had quite a year,

haven't we?

But let's begin our ceremony

on a high note.

We're awfully proud, of course,

of our Oscar-winning graduate...

but today, we have, uh...

another winner, if you will.

That's right.

Our teacher of the year.

And, uh, what do they say?

May I have the envelope, please?

The, uh... the winner is...

I get so nervous here.

Can you hear my heart beating?

Seriously, though,

ladies and gentlemen...

our brand-new

teacher of the year...

Edward Kenrow.

No.

This is such a surprise.

Ed, Ed, Ed.

Thank you, Tom.

Hoosiers...

what is the definition

of a Hoosier? Well...

Uh, Mr. Kenrow?

Excuse me?

Mr. Kenrow, I guess

I'm a recent Greenleaf graduate.

It's Cameron Drake!

Cameron!

It's Cameron!

Please, please.

People! Can we

have a little respect here?

We have our teacher...

our teacher of the year.

Guys, please, please.

Uh...

Man, I am...

I'm really sorry to interrupt

graduation and everything.

I was looking for Mr. Brackett.

Hey, Mr. Brackett.

Uh, Cameron.

Weren't you up

for teacher of the year?

No. Uh, withdrawn. Tom.

Uh, ineligible.

Mr. Brackett

is no longer an employee here.

What?

Oh, why? What happened?

He resigned... sadly.

It's fine. It's over and done.

Today belongs to the students.

This is for

the kids, for the youngsters.

They canned him?

Is this about

the Oscars and the gay thing?

No.

No. No, no, no.

Then what is it?

We... we felt...

The... the community, uh,

felt that it was...

it was a question of...

of, uh...

influence.

I'm sorry. I'm a little slow.

I was a C student,

and now I'm an actor, so...

Influence?

I mean,

it's all right to be...

uh, this way or that way

at home...

in... in your...

in your private area...

arena... arena...

but, uh, Mr. Bracket,

after all, is... was...

uh, a teacher.

Oh, I see.

So you're thinking

about the students?

Yes, that's... that's what...

that's what this is all about.

Oh, OK, so... All right, so, um...

Stay with me here.

So what you're saying is

since Mr. Brackett's gay...

that he's going to send out

some kind of voodoo vibes...

or gay microwaves

and make everybody else gay?

In a crude manner of speaking.

Well, seniors,

you've all had Mr. Brackett.

Is that the way it works?

Kids, you don't have

to answer that question.

It's an inappropriate

forum to discuss this.

This is still

a graduation ceremony.

May I please finish

my acceptance speech?

Hoosiers...

what is the definition

of a Hoosier?

Well, way back in...

Excuse me, I'm gay!

Who said that?

Jack.

I had Mr. Brackett

for senior English.

He taught me Shakespeare.

He was my track coach...

and he also helped me

get into college.

I just realized that what

Mr. Halliwell said is right.

It must've rubbed off.

I'm gay.

This is exactly my point...

a young life corrupted.

Thank you. Very brave.

Oh!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- Young lady?

- It's happening.

I had Mr. Brackett all year,

and...

Oh, my God, I'm gay!

Excuse me?

If there's something wrong

with Mr. Brackett or Jack...

then there's something wrong

with me. I'm gay.

So am I.

She is not!

I know you're not.

You're a tramp.

Mike! Michael.

Oh, man.

Stirgo.

All right. I'm gay.

I'm a homo. I like guys.

I still do it with chicks

every chance I get...

and I'm totally good at it...

but I hate it, and I'm gay.

Kids, kids, kids,

please, please, sit down.

We're here to graduate.

I'm sure Mr. Brackett

is gratified by your display.

Compassion is a wonderful

quality, however misguided.

But as Howard very well knows,

the decision is not yours.

It is a gonad thing.

A grown-up thing.

I have to answer

to the community...

and as far as the community

is concerned...

toward Howard Brackett,

they have said, "No, no, no. "

Please sit down,

and let's pass out diplomas.

Well, I'm a...

I'm a member of the community...

and I don't mind

that Howard's gay.

But you're his brother.

As... as you know.

So you know what that means?

Uh-oh. I must be gay.

But you're not

a parent, are you?

Excuse me, I'm a parent.

I've lived in this town

all my life.

I'm Howard's father.

And I'm gay!

I'm Howard's mother,

and I'm very proud of him...

and I'm... I'm a lesbian.

Excuse me.

Hi. I run the Bridal Barn

for Better Brides...

and I can tell you

Howard has perfect taste.

So do I, so, I'm gay.

I'm Howard's stylist,

and I'm gay...

and I'm bald.

I deliver Howard's mail

and everybody else's.

I'm a federal employee,

and I'm gay!

Fire Chief Fred Mooney

and the volunteer fire brigade.

Howard has always been ready

to lend a hand.

Gay!

I'm gay.

I'm gay! I'm gay!

I'm gay.

But he's not

the teacher of the year!

I am,

and this belongs to me!

Maybe Mr. Brackett

deserves something else.

You ready?

Nearly.

Oh, very snappy. Nervous?

No. Why should I be nervous?

It's a wedding.

I want everything to be perfect.

It will be.

Is your cameraman here?

No, not today.

I'm not filming this.

There are some things

more important than show biz.

Really. Like what?

I don't know,

but didn't that sound good?

Guys, we're starting.

Preacher's waiting.

What a truly special occasion.

What a joyous ceremony.

What an unusual couple.

Berniece, after 42 years...

do you still take Frank to be

your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

And do you, Frank, take Berniece

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I'd better.

I now pronounce

your vows renewed...

for another 42 years.

You may kiss the bride.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Macho, macho man.

Macho man, yeah.

I've got to be a macho man.

I've got to be a...

Macho, macho man, yeah.

I've got to be a macho.

Ow!

Macho, macho man, yeah.

I've got to be a macho man.

Macho, macho man.

Hey, hey.

I've got to be a macho.

Body...

It's so hot.

It's so hot. My body, baby.

Love to pump.

Love to pump my body.

Love to please my body.

Don't you tease my body.

You can tell a macho.

He has a funky walk.

His western shirts

and leather...

always look so boss.

Funky with his body.

He's a king.

Call him Mr. Ego.

Dig his chains.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes