In Bed Page #3

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That wasn't fair.

Boys had to play ball,

while girls had to jump a bench

and stand upside down.

Everything was so Nazi,

so religious.

If I go into my kitchen

and run into a nun,

it would frighten me more

than a man with a knife.

- Sh*t.

- Are you okay?

No.

Where does it hurt? Here?

Yes.

- And does this hurt?

- Yes.

Have you ever had

a Reiki massage?

No.

To tell the truth...

...I don't believe in such things.

Everything is energy.

You should believe.

- You know how to do it?

- Yeah.

You're going to feel

an intense heat.

Do you have a job?

Not anymore.

Unemployed?

I'm going to Belgium

to get my doctorate.

- When?

- Soon.

Soon?

Next week.

Are you married?

No.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No.

Did you have one?

Yes.

But it wouldn't have worked.

There's the distance issue.

Mail coming and going,

web cameras... No.

So we talked it over and broke up.

- Just like that?

- Yes.

Just like that.

Perhaps she had

a different point of view.

And you...

How would you have seen it?

I guess it's better to have

a relation with someone

than to have nothing at all.

That's half a relation.

Half?

Because there's no sex?

Yep.

Half because there's no sex.

Casual sex is nothing.

Such as this?

Yes.

Such as this.

We better leave.

Yeah.

We better.

And your back?

Better already.

Francisca.

My name's Daniela, a**hole!

I'm sorry.

That was a short circuit.

Yeah, a short circuit.

- Forgive me.

- Who's Francisca? Your ex?

It doesn't matter.

It does matter!

You brought her to our bed!

Come on, it's just a name.

And if I called you Matas?

Or Diego?

And if I told you,

"Come on, Diego, push faster"?

- It wouldn't matter?

- Okay.

Sorry.

Who is she?

- I really don't care.

- She was my ex.

- Ex?

- My ex-girlfriend.

It had a hole on it.

What?

Apparently it had a hole.

Who had a hole?

The condom.

It was sort of...

...slashed.

But when you took it off?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Or it was broken from the start.

I didn't notice it.

How come you didn't notice it?

- What size was the hole?

- That's not important. It had a hole.

I mean, I want to know

if a lot came through.

Well, yes.

They went through.

Many of them did.

You're taking care of yourself?

You're on the pill or something?

No.

Is this your fertility period?

Yes.

Moderately fertile or very fertile?

What size was the hole?

Where is it?

I don't know.

I flushed it.

- But we had to make sure.

- Of what?

It had a hole.

I'm sorry, I didn't measure it.

I never carry a ruler

every time I wash my dick.

Don't be rude!

I'm just trying to let you know

that a few thousand sperms

got through.

- That are inside me now.

- Of course they are.

We were making love.

Having sex.

F***ing.

That basically means

that parts of me go into you.

No one ever told you that?

How come you didn't notice?

Hold it.

Are you blaming me?

You are not going to get pregnant.

Even if we have the worst of luck

and you are at the peak

of your fertility,

we'll go to a drugstore and settle it

for good with a couple of pills.

Just like that?

No! I mean, yes.

Just like that.

Or you want to start

a moral discussion?

I don't want a moral discussion,

but everything means sh*t to you.

- Just like all the guys.

- Right.

Well, you want to discuss abortion?

The day-after pill? Extraterrestrials?

Telethons, perhaps?

I don't want to be with you.

Let's leave.

Yeah, let's.

You'd freak out

if I ended up pregnant.

The floor would shake

under your feet.

You'd stop fooling around

with your dick all over Santiago.

Did I have to bring you here

at gun point?

Right, you didn't want to come.

Well, 'cause I'm stupid,

the only reason.

F***ing a stranger.

How do I know you don't have AIDS

or any venereal disease?

How do I know you're not a psycho

after me forever?

I'm nervous, sorry.

Look, nothing will happen.

Maybe I broke it when I took it off.

And had the impression...

That's more likely.

Nothing will happen.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Have you seen my bra?

No.

Look under the bed, please.

Not there.

The truth is

that I'm a bra collector.

You moron.

I'm just trying not to end this

in a bad mood.

Here.

There you are.

Ever played "Step on the floor

end of the world"?

With my brother we used to play

that we had to step

on cushions, pillows, clothes,

'cause touching the floor

meant the end of the world.

Enough, stop.

Cheater!

Stop.

What are you doing tomorrow?

I'll sleep late.

Till noon at least.

And you?

I have to go to Via.

I must take my grandmother

to a funeral.

Who died?

My grandmother's

last surviving brother.

He had cancer.

Everyone's dying of cancer.

Nobody dies of old age anymore.

Do you believe in God?

No.

- Do you?

- Yes.

I mean, I don't believe

in the old man in a garment.

But I do believe in an energy

based on love.

What about wars?

What about missing children?

What about planes crashing?

Boy, God's got to be quite violent.

Maybe he's a child

who's just learning.

In some sort of rehearsal

and mistaking.

But he is there.

You can feel his order

in every small event.

In synchronies.

Look.

You saw me.

We both left at the same time.

My taxi got late. You were

in the hallway. That was just so.

If you had been in the kitchen.

If my taxi had been on time,

or further back.

If my sister hadn't borrowed

my car...

If I hadn't gone to the party...

Too many things

brought us here together.

Are you going to call me?

What do you think?

That you won't.

Hey.

Are you asleep?

- Are you asleep?

- No.

Did you hear that?

A friend of mine

went with a guy to a motel.

There they asked them

if they wanted a video or not.

They said they wanted a video.

Once in the room, they saw there

wasn't a TV set nor a video recorder.

As they left the next morning,

the room maid handed them a tape.

They had been taped.

Courtesy of the house.

If I had a motel,

it would have hidden cameras.

Wouldn't you pay to see

how real people f***?

Wouldn't you pay to see

what really goes on

with two people

locked at a motel room?

No.

Hello?

Carla.

Where are you?

But are you okay?

Who's going to drive you?

You can't go on like this.

No.

No.

You guess.

Yes.

Okay, bye.

Yes. I'll tell you.

Right. Bye.

Who was that?

A friend of mine.

At this hour of night?

She's not well.

She has an affair

with a married psycho.

They went out on a date,

he got drunk and put on

his recurrent pathetic show,

and then he left.

She stayed there by herself crying.

It takes a real fool.

That man ruined her life

and will never leave his wife.

It's your friend's fault.

But she's in love.

Did she ask you

whom you were with?

She asked if I had left with you

and if I was still with you.

What did you tell her?

- That I did.

- What did she say?

She laughed.

She already knew.

- How come?

- Because I told her.

Told her what?

I told her,

"Look. See that guy

with a bird face in a green shirt?

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