In Lieu of Flowers Page #2

Anything on your mind?

Yeah, actually.

I've been thinking about

when I got mono in college.

I mean,

I know it's not uncommon.

A lot of people get it

at that age,

but I had it pretty bad.

I was in bed for almost a month

and my spleen

was really swollen.

I know it sounds stupid,

but it was huge.

The swelling just would

not go down

and I remember,

after about two weeks of it,

I honestly couldn't recall

what it had been like

to not feel sick.

To just feel healthy.

Of course, two weeks later,

I was fine

and I probably soon forgot

what it had been like

to feel so sick,

but with this...

...I can't seem to get

to that point.

For two years now,

I've been waiting

for the swelling to go down,

I've been waiting

to feel healthy again...

...and I almost can't remember

what that's like anymore.

Thank you, Rachel.

I think we all kind

of understand how that feels.

Okay, why don't we hear from one

more person before we break?

How about you?

This is your first

time here, right?

What's your name?

Eric.

Welcome, Eric.

Is there anything that

you'd care to share with us?

Um, nope.

Why don't you

just start with telling us

who it is that

you're grieving for?

My girlfriend.

And did you lose her recently?

A little over two months ago.

And if I may ask,

how did you lose her?

Suddenly.

Well, is there anything

that you would care

to share with us about

how you're feeling or?

Look, um, I don't mean

to sound...

but this whole process,

I think I'm at

a different stage or...

Well, the Kubler Ross Model

of five stages of grieving

is really only supposed

to act as a loose framework

of the grieving process,

accounting for everything

from the grief of losing

a loved one

to the grief of somebody

who's dying himself.

Is there a difference?

Um...

No, thanks.

Smart move.

It's actually my first

pack in three years.

Really?

Why'd you start up again?

I don't know.

I guess it is pretty...

Lame?

I was going to say

dramatic, but sure, that works.

- Well, I wouldn't recommend it.

- You don't say?

No, no, it's not that,

I've just...

I've found that in

trying to deal with this,

the more bad habits

you can avoid,

the better you'll feel.

Has that worked for you?

I'm still waiting

for it to kick in.

I don't know, I guess

I just needed

something to focus my energy on.

And of all the things

you could've chosen,

you picked cigarettes?

Well, it was this

or learning guitar

and nobody wants that.

No, just this and running.

Smoking and running?

Isn't that a little...

Self defeating?

No, it's very self defeating.

Um, Eric.

Um, Rachel.

Well, bye.

See ya.

Ah!

- Hey.

- Yo, where you been?

Just out.

Have you been smoking?

No.

Hey, do you know

a good dermatologist?

For what, your emphysema?

Yeah, I need a skin

doctor for my emphysema, idiot.

For what, your hemorrhoids?

Oh, calm down, you baby.

Jesus, yeah I know a guy.

Why, what's wrong with you,

besides the obvious?

I've been getting these

weird little moles.

Oh!

Not down, uh, you know?

No, my stomach, but thanks.

...when members of the local

police force opened fire.

It has been described

as an isolated incident.

Though, recent events would

seem to indicate otherwise.

Located in the once hotly

contested border region,

the province had,

in recent months, been viewed...

Have you heard

from Steve lately?

Making this mutinous

attack by local police force

that much more troubling.

Hi, Eric.

It's Melissa again.

Look, I know this is hard,

but we're really trying

to get the rest of this stuff

sorted out

and it would be

a really big help

if you could come

pick up your things, soon.

I mean if you don't want them,

I can get rid of them, but...

Thanks.

Hi.

Hi, how are you?

Good, good.

Do you live around here?

No.

I'm out on Long Island.

My dad works in the area.

We had dinner.

Nice.

Yeah.

- You?

- Yeah, yeah.

I live right down

the street actually.

Oh, wow.

So, getting a little caffeine

to go with your nicotine?

Yup, I've heard the coffee,

smoke breath combo is a killer.

Yeah, no, I actually

took your advice.

You mean you quit?

If you can even call it that.

- Here you are, sir.

- Thank you.

I've actually taken up

binge eating instead.

You know what, could we get

the tray of biscotti

and a dozen or so

bear claws, please?

She doesn't like my jokes.

You know, I haven't been,

but I hear it's great though.

Yeah, the staff's a little rude,

but the food's good.

Thank you.

Did they redo this place?

You know, it's been the same

since I've been up here.

How long is that?

Almost a year.

Do you like the neighborhood?

I do, you know,

it's cleaner, quieter,

outrageously expensive.

I don't know, I do miss

living downtown though.

Why did you leave?

Well, my old roommate

got married.

Loser.

And, um, my girlfriend Gretchen,

she lived about

five blocks up, so, yeah.

So, you live in one of those

Brownstones right off the park?

- Wow, that's pretty...

- Pretentious?

I was going to say

impressive, but...

Yeah, well, I'm a big shot

investment banker.

- Really?

- No, I'm not that lame.

My husband was a banker.

Of course he was, Jesus.

No, it's okay,

I didn't get it either.

Well, I did do a semester

of business school

so I'm at least partly lame.

Oh, at least.

- Why only a semester?

- I don't know.

It was fine, but,

you know after...

I just decided to take a break

for a semester or forever,

we'll see.

So, what are you doing

in the meantime?

Just loitering in coffee shops?

Pretty much, yeah.

No, I work for a commercial

real estate firm.

But what do you do,

how do you spend your time?

Um, I'm a teacher.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, second grade.

That sounds about right.

Hey!

No, seriously.

In a good way.

So, what brings you

from Long Island

to a church all the way

on the upper Westside?

Um, well my husband

and I lived on 73rd.

And the group meets up here, so.

And how long have you been

going to Lazarus Lives?

I went pretty regularly

for about a year or so,

but I actually hadn't been

in months until that meeting.

Was it helpful?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's kind of like Tylenol

or muscle rub.

It doesn't really cure anything,

it just sort of...

Masks the pain.

I was going to say,

"Relieves the pain," but...

I didn't see you there

this Sunday.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think

I really belong there.

Well, nobody belongs there,

but if you've lost someone...

- Where on Long Island are you?

- Sag Harbor.

Wow, house in Sag Harbor,

that's pretty pretentious...

I mean, impressive,

how did you swing that?

Pennies from heaven.

I never would've expected it.

I mean, all the bureaucracy

and what not,

but they covered his full

funeral expenses.

They paid for the limo.

Um, so, anyway...

...they did some arranging

with my father's

vacation days off and my mother

is gonna receive

his full benefits

even though my dad was two full

years away from his pension.

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