In Lieu of Flowers Page #3

Well, that was quite

an entrance.

I know, this damn

daylight savings thing.

I still haven't adapted

to the time change.

Wasn't that like a month ago?

Never you mind.

Actually, I think it's because

I still haven't

had my fix today.

Still coffee or have you

moved onto the harder stuff?

Still coffee for now.

I think I might grab

some before my blood pressure

gives out and I faint.

Well, um, enjoy.

Try not to knock anything

over on your way there.

No promises.

He's out.

- Are you kidding?

- Yep, another one.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Yo, buddy.

What's the score?

Life 1, me 0.

It's the only recurring

dream I've ever had,

but no matter how many

times I have it,

I never realize I'm dreaming.

At least not until I wake up.

But what really

sticks with me is that

the whole time,

we don't say a word.

We don't speak because

we don't have to.

And that connection,

that unspoken is gone.

It's something I'll

never feel again.

At least not while I'm awake.

Thanks, Eric.

- Anyone else?

- That was very nice, hun.

Yeah, Ed?

"We must guard against

the unwarranted influence,

whether sought or unsought,

by the military

industrial complex."

Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Thanks, Ed.

Okay.

So, Ed?

His son was killed overseas.

It was a while ago, I think.

You okay?

Yeah.

I just didn't know that.

My brother's over there.

Really, how long

has he been there?

Well, he did two tours already

and then he was home

for about a year,

thought he was done,

but then in December,

he went back.

That must be hard.

Yeah, not only because

he's over there,

but because, you know,

he's not here

and he's the one person

I really wish was right now.

I feel that way about

my mom sometimes.

She died a long time ago, don't,

and it wasn't unexpected.

It's strange how

different they are.

I mean, the long, drawn out kind

is its own type of animal,

but when it's sudden...

Well, I mean, you know.

Which one's worse?

Um, I'm sorry.

Hello, I just wanted to let you

know that I've hired

a private detective

to look at your whereabouts.

Had to take a second job,

but hey, you're worth it.

Be on the lookout for

a guy driving a Ferrari,

wears a Hawaiian shirt,

has a killer mustache.

Seriously, Rach,

please call me back.

There's something I

want to talk to you about.

Eric, it's Melissa.

This is getting a

little crazy here.

It would be really good

if you would call me back

one of these days.

Sooner rather than later.

I'm moving, Eric.

I'll be gone at

the end of May, so.

We're running out of time here.

Please call me.

Soon.

Well, the good news is

it's nothing to worry about.

- That's good.

- Yes, but these aren't moles.

They're called mollusca,

now, pull down your pants.

Um.

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you have a lot

of little ones

running down the inside

of your thighs.

Looks like a couple

on the penis.

I do?

They're small, so

they're harder to spot.

Well, what did you say

they're called?

Molluscum contagiosum.

It's a virus that's transmitted

by sexual contact

that produces these painless

little papules all over.

I'm sorry.

Is this an STD?

Well, technically,

in your case, yes.

The vast majority of adults

contract it from

skin to skin contact

during intercourse

and judging from the location

of the papules,

it's pretty clear

that's where you acquired it,

but not to worry.

Unlike herpes or HPV,

once the initial symptoms

clear up, they don't come back.

Now, uh,

are you sexually active now?

No.

When was the last time you were?

About two months ago.

Or more like three, I guess.

Well, these guys sometimes

take a little while to show up

and when they do,

people tend to ignore them

since they don't hurt.

Now, I'm going to give

you a cream to apply

directly to the penis at home

and then, we'll freeze off

the ones in the surrounding

areas every two weeks or so.

How long did you say

the incubation period is?

Between two and twelve

weeks from exposure.

That's it?

All right.

Now, just lie back.

Hey, where you been?

Sorry, I totally lost track

of time.

I tried calling you.

I know, bad reception.

Thank you.

Who is that?

Nobody.

Just somebody from work.

I'd been dreading

that day for six months.

I just never thought I

would be able to make it

through Samantha's birthday,

but George insisted

that we celebrate it,

so that's what we did.

Is it weird for you coming back

to this neighborhood?

Sometimes, but not in a bad way.

I do try to steer clear

of 73rd street though

and keep somewhat of a safe

distance from our old place.

When did you know

you wanted to marry him?

Sometime during my senior year.

- Oh, God.

- What?

Nothing, it's just all

I was focused on senior year

of college was fast food

and keg stands.

- Well, so was I.

- Mhm.

Hey, I wasn't born

a second grade teacher.

Oh, okay, well, what about you?

Haven't you ever thought you

would marry someone you dated?

I mean, didn't you think

you might marry Gretchen?

She's the first person I'd ever

even thought about it with.

Before that, I don't know.

I just never really saw it

happening with anyone

but with her,

it just seemed to make sense.

I'd actually started

saving up for a rock.

- Really?

- Yeah, well, not a rock.

More like a pebble,

student loans kind of put

a damper on the diamond fund.

Why did you drop

out of business school?

Technically,

I haven't dropped out.

Thank you very much,

I've simply deferred

my matriculated studies.

Okay, well, why did you do that?

I don't know, I've been working

in non profit for a few years

and it was pretty great,

but it's not exactly lucrative.

I just thought getting

an MBA would show initiative

and show that

I was serious about her.

Then, after, you know...

I don't know, I guess

I just didn't know

why I was there anymore.

What?

Sorry, I don't know, I just...

It just seems like you

did a lot for her.

I don't know.

Never really felt like enough.

- Hey, easy with the flipping.

- What?

You're only supposed

to flip them once

otherwise, they get dried out.

Sorry, I didn't realize

I had the charbroiling queen

of Sag Harbor right

here in my backyard.

Well, now you know.

Hey, did you ever worry

about Bobby, you know...

What?

Never mind.

Being unfaithful?

How'd you go from

grilling techniques to that?

What, you don't see the segue?

I'm not saying that he was.

I'm just curious if... you know.

I don't know, never mind.

I never worried about it really.

It crossed my mind

once or twice.

At our first homecoming,

after college,

we were saying hi

to all these people

we hadn't seen since graduation

and there was this girl.

She had been a couple years

behind Bobby and me

and she lived across the hall

from him our senior year

and she and her friends

were always hanging

around his place

and I don't know, I just...

I always thought she had

a thing for him, you know?

Anyway,

when we saw her that day,

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