In Search of a Midnight Kiss Page #4

OK, We could take the subway,

Yeah, yeah, That sounds good,

Public place, there are people around,

You can't rape me, That's great,

You're a real trusting soul,

I'm giving you until sunset,

Then I'll figure out if I like you or not,

If not, I'm gonna go out

with somebody else,

- You're kidding,

- No, I don't have time to f*** around,

So far, you seem like a really nice guy,

but I'm not gonna be standing there

at midnight,

next to a bunch of people kissing all over

each other, next to some f***ing dud!

- So, you ever been down to the MOCA?

- What's that?

- It's the Museum of Contemporary Art,

- No,

- Guess you've never heard of it,

- I hate museums,

- F*** you, As if I'm gonna pick up,

- (# cell phone rings)

I mean, seriously, what is wrong with men?

What the f*** is wrong with you guys?

Um... I don't know,

Hey, this is Vivian. Leave a message,

and I'll call you back. Thanks.

(man) Viv... it's been five days,

and I'm just driving around, looking

for you. I don't know what else to do.

If you got all these messages

and you're ignoring me and you wanna

move on with your life, that's fine.

I understand. But...

(man sighs)

I cannot let that happen.

Call me, honey. I love you.

- You shouldn't smoke here,

- Why not?

For starters, it's not allowed,

And second of all, I hate litter,

- Aren't you a goody-two-shoes!

- No, I just don't like litter,

- You're a real wild man,

- Listen, I have my moments,

It's the quiet guys we have to look out for,

They tend to be the freakiest,

And you're not freaky? I almost walked out

when you said that sh*t to that guy,

Oh, my God, That is pathetic,

You're too soft,

He probably went home

and slit his wrists,

Fine by me,

Survival of the fittest,

If you can't take the heat,

get out of the kitchen,

Jeez!

It's that random act of unkindness from

some stranger that's the coup de grce,

and then all of a sudden, boom - you're

bleeding to death on the bathroom floor,

That's an excuse, If you're at that point,

you might as well do it -

you're gonna rot in hell anyway,

We're gonna miss the train,

You should think about therapy,

Your Catholic upbringing has given you

a sensitive edge,

(Vivian) That's right, Catholic schoolgirl,

I got my uniform in my purse,

You want me to take it out?

I know you're into

that whole pedophilia sh*t,

Have your read that book, City of Quartz?

No, Books suck,

Hey, we should go down to the Standard,

Yeah,

- What's that?

- It's this hotel downtown,

They have this cool bar on the roof, I read

about it, Lindsay Lohan eats lunch there,

Oh, So she's eating again,

- Yeah, but I don't know where it's at, so...

- Well, I'm sure we could find it,

- Really?

- Yeah, I mean, if you wanna go,

Yeah, That'd be cool,

I just never get to do stuff like that

because my boyfriend's such an a**hole,

he never wants to go out,

Yeah, well, I love doing stuff like that,

(musical interlude)

(Vivian squeals)

(Vivian) Wow, The Los Angeles

Stock Exchange, (chuckles)

(Wilson) "Founded on integrity,"

Well, that's destined for failure,

Can you imagine if this happened

to the New York Stock Exchange?

Like, all the banks picked up and left

and someone closed down the Stock

Exchange and put a chain on the door?

These things happen, You look at our

country and you think it could never fail,

but you look at something like that

and it makes you wonder,

It's like everything good in life

eventually tragically fails,

- (Vivian) No, You're just cynical,

- I am not,

(Vivian) You are, What goes around,

comes around, You have no hope,

- (Wilson) It's not about hope,

- It is,

If King Tut was a CEO today, he would

have never pulled off the pyramids,

- King Tut? We're talking about King Tut?

- They would have called him...

Go ahead, I'm sorry,

They'd have called him negligent

for not wanting a normal mausoleum,

Those were built by hand back then,

(Vivian) There are still things

made by hand,

I mean, actually,

I make my own jewelry, See?

(Wilson) That's not bad,

(# "The Kind" by Shearwater)

It would be really, really cool to go inside

one of them, see what they look like,

- Inside one of the theaters?

- Yeah,

You want to?

- Really?

- Yeah,

Uh...

- Stay here,

- Where are you going?

You promised me, Six o'clock,

Hey, there, How are you?

Hey, I was wondering if we could come in

there and just take a look at the theater,

- What did you say to the security guard?

- I told her she could sleep with you,

- (Vivian, laughing) What?

- What? You're OK with that, right?

- No, not really,

- So maybe?

(Vivian) Oh, God, Well, at least we got in,

- (Wilson) At least we got in,

- (both) Oh, my God,

- (Vivian) This is so amazing,

- Wow, Look at the ceiling,

(Vivian) Oh, my God,

This is incredible!

Oh, my God!

And it's huge... huge...

huge... huge... huge,

(Vivian) Can you imagine

what this looked like when it opened?

(Wilson) I know,

(Vivian) Look at the ceiling,

Ohh, it's beautiful,

God, I can't believe this theater

is just sitting here,

(Wilson) Theater is dead in LA,

Do you know I've been onstage

every year of my life since I was 12?

- Really?

- That's why I came to LA, to be an actor,

My friends threw me

the most amazing going-away party,

I got so f***ing wasted,

I couldn't even pack the U-Haul, Yeah,

And so I get here, and I waste all my

f***ing time with my stupid hick boyfriend,

Yeah, well, welcome to LA,

Embrace the pain,

Wilson, look at this place,

Look at this theater,

this empty theater, just sitting here,

So many all over town,

I can't believe it,

And think about this:

all these out-of-work actors and writers

and all these amazing theaters,

just sitting here,

- Write something, We can do it right here,

- It's not that easy,

Write me a character,

something really good that I can do,

You know, something sexy and edgy and...

Something where I get to use a knife,

I've only really written comedy,

You write comedy?

You're the least funny person I've ever met,

- Well, I've had a rough year,

- OK, get over it,

You know, time is a-ticking away,

You are getting old,

Think of anything,

and we can do it right here,

- I don't know, l-l-I'm a prostitute...

- I like it,

...who has AIDS and I'm dying of cancer,

- Nothing funnier than AIDS and cancer,

- OK, OK, OK, So...

I'm... a real-estate agent,

OK,

Who is showing the theater

to a young, decent-Iooking guy,

He's a little bit annoying,

but he has potential,

- Thank you,

- He decides to buy this theater,

and fix it up

and bring the theater back to LA,

And during all this, all this connection,

we fall in love, then we go broke, The end,

That sounds hilarious,

You're bitter now,

You can do it,

OK, Um...

Interior, Theater, Day,

Um, she's showing him the theater

for the first time, and they're alone,

And then what happens?

She's hungry

and wants to get something to eat,

- And he should be starved,

- She needs a cigarette,

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