In Search of a Midnight Kiss Page #5

My boyfriend - well, hold on,

I should say my ex-boyfriend -

God, he has the worst accent,

I mean, he's a total redneck,

Ahh, I can't believe

I was with him for three years,

Well, I think LA is where love comes to die,

I haven't met one couple that's moved

out here that's actually made it, Sorry,

No, it's...

It's New Year's, so let's drop the subject,

We're supposed to have fun,

Fun, A study was done that found

that people were significantly less happy

when asked if they were

having a good time,

It's like, the second someone asks,

"You having a good time?"

- you're having a bad time,

- (laughs) Totally,

It's like being asked to smile for the

camera, When somebody says, "Smile!"

- Yeah!

- You look so stupid,

Yes!

You ever seen a picture of yourself where

you're laughing and you say, "I'm happy"?

Oh, yeah, Yeah,

I mean, yeah,

Kind of like this,

Whoa!

- Kind of,

- Well, wait, Really look,

- (giggles) No?

- No,

- Am I happy?

- No,

There you go,

See? You can't fake it,

You're right, You got me,

Oh, my God,

- It's a boot,

- I know,

I've been taking pictures of lost shoes

for about three years now,

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah, I have a website,

TheLostShoeProject, com,

TheLostShoeProject, com,

Yeah, I've been noticing women's shoes,

high heels with the heel broken off,

or baby shoes and work boots and...

and there's always just one shoe,

I mean, that just fascinates me,

How can anybody just lose one shoe?

(Wilson) That's really cool,

Thanks,

I mean, it's... you know,

it's really interesting,

So, let's find food,

I've never even been here before,

- Do you miss Texas?

- No, no,

I f***ing love LA,

Have you been auditioning much?

No, but this year,

I'm gonna take it more seriously,

I need new headshots and to stop wasting

my time with my loser ex-boyfriend,

- What about you?

- Austin?

I think a lot of people move back home

because they miss it,

but they're just trying

to go backwards in time,

I totally agree, I'd be so depressed

if I had to go back right now,

- Tell me about it,

- (# cell phone rings)

(turns off ringer)

- Who was that?

- Oh, it was just Jack,

Jack's the...?

The ex,

- The hick,

- He sure is calling a lot,

Hey, this is Vivian. Leave a message,

and I'll call you back. Thanks.

Vivian, this is Mom.

I was just calling to wish you

a happy New Year. Hope everything's OK.

Jack called and said that he had not seen

you or heard from you in a couple of days.

He said you were missing,

whatever that means.

I know that Jack can be a little... out there.

So I'm a little concerned.

So give me a call as soon as

you get this message. I love you.

So, uh, how long have

you guys been broken up?

Last week,

Ohh,

"Ohh"?

"Ohh" what?

- I'm not thinking anything,

- Wait,

You said "ohh"

as if you knew something I didn't,

OK, I was just thinking this is, um...

you know,

- I don't know, What?

- Come on, you know,

- I don't, What?

- Come on, don't make me say it,

Say it, What?

OK, this is, um...

revenge sex,

- Revenge sex?

- Yeah,

(laughing) Oh, my God!

You were jealous, you wanna

make him hurt, You can use me,

No, no, This is not revenge sex,

because we are not gonna have sex,

And I don't give a sh*t what he does,

He can go f*** himself for all I care,

Ha! Yeah, right,

- What makes you so f***ing smug?

- 'Cause you're kidding yourself,

- I am not!

- Revenge sex is very much a part of it,

I'm leaving,

OK, before you go, then,

just answer me this one question,

Did you or did you not trim your pubic hair

before we met?

- I am not answering that,

- Did you?

- That's none of your business,

- You're afraid of the answer,

- No! Because it's none of your business,

- Did you or didn't you prep before we met?

I happen to trim regularly

because I like to keep well groomed,

You didn't have to trim this morning,

But you did,

because you thought me or someone

like me would see your vagina tonight,

Actions speak louder than words,

- I hate to break the news to you...

- Break it to me,

...but you'll never know the answer,

because you will not be seeing my vagina,

- Whoa!

- What?

- Easy, The night is still young,

- Oh, my God! Keep dreaming,

How's that cigarette nicotine

with that dairy?

- Get the f*** outta here!

- (laughs)

This is so beautiful out here,

Don't you think it's kind of special that

we were sitting on this spot 364 days ago?

- We were?

- Yep,

Yeah, Remember we went to the party

where I got super hammered,

put on a diaper and started chasing

everybody around like a madman?

And I lost my shoe somehow?

So you took me to the store

and you bought me the sandals.

You saved my life.

And rather than going home, we went to

the beach and watched the sun come up.

(# "Sky Pilot" by Paleo)

That was this spot, 364 days ago,

Incredible, huh?

I'm really cold,

- Hey, I have a surprise for you,

- Yeah? Really?

- Yeah,

- Where?

- Follow me,

- OK,

(Jacob) You know...

I think you're so amazing,

And I know I'm stupid and I'm stubborn,

and I just fight and all that sh*t, but...

I'm never happier than when I'm with you,

I think you're great, too,

Thank you,

You know, I think I may be

going to London in March,

Neptune's got me some gigs there,

which would be perfect,

He says he's gonna pay for my trip,

and, um...

Yeah, I've always wanted to go to London,

so it'd be, like, a perfect thing,

Don't you think that's great?

(Vivian) Hey,

- Let's go skinny-dipping,

- OK,

- Pervert,

- Guilty,

- I like public nudity, It's kinda sexy,

- Oh, do you, now?

Yeah,

- Come on, let's play truth or dare,

- What are you, 12?

No! Truth or dare,

Listen, when you get to be a certain age,

you stop playing games like truth or dare,

- Wait, wait, stop, stop,

- What?

Look, You got a ladybug in your hair,

Wait, wait! It's good luck,

So, make a wish

and then, you know, blow,

Wait, wait, wait, Wait,

What is your wish?

Well, if I tell you,

then it's not gonna come true,

No, You have to say it out loud

so it will come true,

OK,

I wish that you wouldn't leave

at six o'clock,

(blows)

Hope I didn't kill it with that thrust,

Well, I guess we'll know at six o'clock,

Hey, this is Vivian. Leave a message,

and I'll call you back. Thanks.

(Jack) It's only about an hour

till the new year,

and I can't make it to the next year

unless I hear from you.

I can't.

What am I supposed to do?

Pop champagne while you're

in the bottom of a ditch somewhere?

I don't wanna get a call from the police.

I wanna hear from you. OK?

I love you. Bye.

(# "Wedding Bells Are Breaking"

by Shearwater)

(Vivian) There's this guy

who did this art project,

He took postcards and he dropped 'em off

all in public places all over the city,

like on subways,

in bathrooms, on buses,

And he basically invited people to write

an anonymous confession on the postcard,

something they had never told anybody,

- and then drop it off in the mail,

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