In The Land Of Women Page #6

and amazing...

...and you blew it.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

How could I have let you drive my car?

Come on.

You know, that's the first time

in my entire life I've ever been punched.

How was it for you?

It hurt.

I'm not a fan.

There's something I wanna tell you.

I've actually never talked about it

out loud.

Okay.

Something happened when I was, like, 11.

I had this friend Ethan.

Me and Ethan did everything together.

It's not really weird to be friends

with a boy when you're 11.

Anyway...

...I went to his house one day.

And we were just, like...

...hanging out and, like, playing.

Doing kid stuff. I don't know.

I don't think his parents were home.

It was like Truth or Dare?

But, like, a game.

I mean, there was clothes taken off... .

I'm not really even sure, like, what--

It's all right.

I freaked out.

And then he freaked out.

And he got really defensive, saying, like... .

Like it was my fault that it went that far.

The next day at school

he must have told somebody...

...because it was everyone--

I was just so humiliated.

Teachers got involved,

and parents were--

Lucy, Lucy, that kind of thing,

that happens to kids all the time.

Really. It does.

It's just not that big a deal.

Even though, hey,

I know it feels that way.

Like, afterwards, my mom and I...

...we never talked about it. At all.

And I don't know, it just always

seemed like she was embarrassed.

That I was, like, a pervert or something--

You're not a pervert.

You didn't do anything wrong.

- Then how could she let me feel that way?

- Well, you gotta stop blaming your mom.

Hating her for these-- You gotta let it go.

If she was not there for me

when I really needed her, why should l--?

Because she might die.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

What the f--?

That was really hard for me to say.

What, are you trying to scare me?

Congratulations.

I'm trying to wake you up.

There's a big f***ing world out there.

It's messy and it's chaotic...

...and it's never, ever,

the thing you'd expect.

It is okay to be scared...

...but you cannot allow your fears

to turn you into an a**hole.

Not when it comes to the people

that really love you.

The people that need you.

So I guess we're done, right?

Yeah. We're done.

I can't-- I don't--

I don't want to start... .

Don't come any closer. Please.

Okay.

I just wanted to know if you're all right.

Everything hurts.

It's my fault. I know that.

I'm responsible.

But you need to hear this, Carter.

You are never gonna

touch my daughter again.

- You can't see her.

- Wait, I'm sorry.

- I am--

- You have to go.

- What is it with you?

- I know.

I mean, if you-- If you don't

want to talk to me, fine, whatever.

But don't send Phyllis out to make

excuses for you, saying you're not in.

Where am I suppose to believe you went?

I'm the only person you know here.

- Right?

- Pretty much.

It's been like a week.

I mean, five days.

I don't know. I wanted to call you,

I just didn't have your cell phone number.

I don't know.

I just thought that you were maybe...

...like, mad at me.

- Hey, I'm not.

I'm not mad at you.

So you regret kissing me?

Lucy, I can't. Okay?

I can't see you anymore.

I just-- I wasn't the guy.

Okay, then I guess-- Who is?

Actually, when you think about it...

...you're gonna find

that you already know.

Mom.

I don't feel good.

I think I need--

- Nelson Hardwicke's office.

- Hi, this is Lucy. I need my dad.

Lucy, he's not here. He stepped out to- -

Mom, we're gonna try

to stand up now. Okay?

I'm gonna get you to the hospital,

but I need you to help.

I can't do this by myself.

You ready?

You're having what we call

a neutropenic fever.

Your white-blood-cell count

dropped too low...

...your body can't defend itself.

I spoke with Hoffman in Ann Arbor.

We're gonna put you

on a drug called Neulasta.

I'm so sorry I wasn't--

- What happened to her?

- You're okay.

I'm gonna grab a soda.

You want anything?

No. I'm good.

- Of course I do. You're a cad.

- I can't help it.

- Hello?

- Hey, Sof. Sofia, it's me.

Who?

Carter.

- Who?

- Carter Webb.

Oh, Carter, baby.

Hey, this is just a really bad time.

What?

Listen, I'm at this thing in SoHo

and everybody's wasted.

And I'm wasted too.

It's New Year's Eve, you know?

No. It's not. It's October.

Well, it feels like New Year's Eve.

Listen, sweetie, I really wanna

talk to you, you know?

But let me try a little later. Okay? Okay.

Yeah, okay. No.

I just, you know... .

I sort of... .

Hello?

What's wrong with you?

Can't seem to get it together.

I'm 26 years old.

I'm healthy. I'm capable.

I've had every opportunity.

My friend's are getting married

and having kids...

...and I'm just so far away.

Why did you come here?

I'm trying to write this thing

about growing up in L.A.

How long have you been trying?

Oh, 11 years, give or take.

Too long. You're not trying hard enough.

Maybe you should think about

working on something else.

Yeah. You're probably right.

I don't know. I had this idea...

...that maybe I could figure something out

and change my life.

I was wrong.

Carter. I am 133 years old.

Oh, Grandma. That's impossible.

I have spent my life

trying to figure out something.

And you know what?

It's not going well.

I didn't say anything.

I'll be dead soon and you'll still be alive.

So stop complaining.

Hey.

Where did everyone go?

Paige was falling asleep.

She wanted to stay...

...but I just felt like being alone.

Okay.

We should talk.

I'm not really sure

where we go from here.

Maybe you should start

by telling me why you're mad at me.

It's hard to even--

I mean...

...l've been at it for so long...

...that I think I'd probably be mad at you

for pretty much everything.

I mean, anything.

You know, they did another CAT scan

before the chemo last week.

They say that apparently the surgery

was very successful.

There aren't any cancer cells

that they can see...

...so all this sh*t that I have to go through

is to make sure.

But I know I'm gonna be all right.

And I didn't before.

I was really afraid.

I don't wanna miss the part

where I actually get to know you.

Listen, I don't know what happens next,

either. I don't know.

I'm just gonna keep loving you.

And I'm gonna keep hoping

you let me into your life.

And I will make mistakes, of course...

...but I will always be there for you.

There's just one thing

that you've got to do for me.

What?

You've got to quit smoking.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- I will.

- Okay.

You should be sleeping, Mom.

Dear Sarah.

I've been trying to write this letter

for a while.

The kind you said you'd never received.

The kind I've been working on

my whole life.

I remember being 13 years old,

sitting in my room all night...

... listening to the same song

over and over.

I thought that if I could write

something beautiful, something honest...

... maybe I could make someone love me.

I've taken a lot for granted.

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