In the Loop Page #12

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Chad is emailing, reading, multi-tasking, from a corner

of desk near Linton’s office.

Toby mooches around, peers in Linton’s office. He spots

a couple of A4 sheets of paper that have been printed

out with ‘Climb the mountain of conflict!’ across them

on top of the printer.

TOBY:

(looking in)

What’s all this?

CHAD:

Climb the mountain of conflict. We’re

just choosing a font.

TOBY:

What about the font the SS used? Have

you thought about usig that one.

CHAD:

Well, that obviously has bad

connotations.

TOBY:

Heavy metal.

CHAD:

No - the SS.

67 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT ROOM 720. DAY. 67

Karen is talking.

KAREN:

But what I’m asking is has a decision

been reached in principle to advocate

invasion?

LINTON:

That’s way off agenda Karen. Although

it would seem a general consensus may

be forming.

KAREN:

What makes you say that?

LINTON:

Well I noted with interest the recent

comments of our colleague Simon Foster

in that regard.

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Simon is texting under the desk and not really paying

full attention. He hears his name, looks up, waves to

the group. He doesn’t clock Karen’s intense look that

says ‘You are going to rebut that, aren’t you?’

KAREN:

Perhaps Mr. Foster would have

something to say about that?

SIMON:

(politely)

I’m just...watching with interest. In

my country, we have a great saying for

situations such as this, which is:

“It’s difficult, difficult. Lemon.

Difficult”

He goes back to his text.

LINTON:

As I say it seems a consensus is

forming .

KAREN:

(furious)

That’s just ridiculous. You have no

basis for saying that.

LINTON:

Karen, please, calm down. We don’t

want you to have another hemorrhage.

Item One.

68 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT. CORRIDOR/BATHROOM - DAY 68

Malcolm arrives at the committee just as people are

spilling out. He’s pissed off. Follows Linton into

bathroom.

MALCOLM:

Are you f***ing me about?

LINTON:

What seems to be the problem?

MALCOLM:

I’ve just had a briefing from a 9-yearold

child .

LINTON:

AJ? He is one of my top guys. Stanton

College Prep, Harvard...he’s smart and

he’s great at his job.

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MALCOLM:

His f***ing briefing notes were

written in Alphabetti Spaghetti. When

I left I nearly tripped over his

umbilical cord.

LINTON:

I’m sorry if it troubles you that our

people achieve excellence at a young

age.

Simon is emerging. Linton takes Malcolm to one side,

out of Simon’s earshot.

LINTON (CONT’D)

By the way, your prime minister

informs me that he’s tasked you with

collating some fresh British intel for

us.

MALCOLM:

Yeah, apparently your f***ing master

race of gifted toddlers can’t quit get

the job done in between breast feeds

and playing with their power rangers.

So yeah, we’re getting some actual

grown-ups to bail you out.

Simon gets closer. Linton moves in.

LINTON:

(to Simon)

Minister, thank you so much for your

support and your recent “Climb the

mountain of conflict” comment - great.

We’re going to run with that, it has

great repeatability.

SIMON:

Thanks very much, but...it’s all a bit

complex really, in terms of my...

Malcolm interrupts, taking Linton to one side again.

Simon hangs around on the periphery, trying to be part

of the conversation.

MALCOLM:

I don’t think you should run with

that. It’s not playing well in the UK.

We need more time.

LINTON:

I’m sure that’s not the case.

Linton pulls away, starts walking off.

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LINTON (CONT'D)

It’s early days, my friend. All roads

lead to Munich.

He smiles and walks off.

MALCOLM:

What the f*** does that mean? ‘All

roads lead to Munich'?

69 INT. CONSTITUENCY OFFICE. DAY. 69

TOBY and SIMON are with Simon's constituency agent,

ROZ, she's ushering them into the small, damp little

constituency office. ROZ’s arm is in a sling (Jo

Scanlon’s arm actually is in a sling) and she has

difficulty opening the door

ROZ:

(to Simon)

Sorry, could you...? You just need to

kick the bottom quite hard.

Simon kicks the bottom of the door to unstick it.

ROZ (CONT'D)

Right, here you go, you're pretty

booked up - there's a list on the

desk.

In the private office next to the waiting room Toby has

to turn the lights on. It's small and dingy. Simon has

to go under the desk to turn the desk light on.

TOBY:

(watching Simon)

How the mighty are fallen. From White

House to shitehouse.

SIMON:

(coming out from under the

desk)

Actually, f*** this, can you get under

there mate?

Toby looks - why should he?

TOBY:

Er...it's not really a political

issue, your lamp so...

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SIMON:

No, but it allows me to see political

issues so - probably it would be best

if you stopped pulling your f***ing

'I'm in an indie band' face and got

under there right now alright?

Right.

TOBY:

SIMON:

I'm just back from America,

ROZ:

How was the President?

She's heading off.

SIMON:

Good actually.

(knowing she won't hear)

It's Will Smith now.

70 INT. CONSTITUENCY SURGERY - DAY 70

Roz opens the door. There are a few constituents

waiting to see Simon, he nods a hello.

SIMON:

(Roz has gone ahead, this

is to Toby)

Look at them. They all have that

smell....like a charity shop, you

know?

71 INT. CONSTITUENCY SURGERY - DAY 71

Simon listens behind a desk. Roz is there taking notes.

Toby is in the corner working on a laptop. He opens a

folder called 'Chad Dongle 3'. Sees a document 'Pwip

Pip - confidential', opens that. Starts reading.

ROZ:

(looking through the

paperwork)

Well it's not a council sceptic tank

so they’re not legally obliged to pump

it...

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MRS MCDAIRMID:

Look, according to the paperwork

there's four metric tons of of sh*t

under there. That’s not all me, is it?

I'm not a flipping elephant am I?

SIMON:

No, of course not. That’s the last

thing you are. Okay, Mrs McDairmid.

Leave it with me. I'm sure there must

be a way through this. Alright?

Mrs Kendrick heads out.

MRS KENDRICK:

Thank you. Thank you very much.

SIMON:

Right, what's next? I’ve got a letter

here from someone who wants me to stop

cyclists being smug.

72 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT - DAY 72

Karen runs out of the lifts. There's even more of a

buzz than usual, people running around. She sees Bob

Adriano, Linton and Chad in a huddle in Linton's air.

Hurries over to Liza.

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