InAPPropriate Comedy Page #9

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So, because I'm black

and fried chicken is...

Is that fried chicken?

Come on.

You guys are ridiculous.

Can you smell it?

Oh, my god.

I cannot believe you.

F*** you.

You're an a**hole.

Come on. Let's... ok.

Come back.

You know what? No.

F*** you.

Yeah, who are you

to say that this...

You're ridiculous.

I'll teach you how

to play the spoons.

Oh, my god.

You guys.

I cannot believe

you're doing...

Can you imagine

not having to worry.

About the police anymore?

Yeah. I'm gonna f*** you up.

I swear to god.

I'm gonna f*** you up.

Yeah, we're gonna go.

Of course you are.

Violence. It's always

about violence.

Africa.

Free trips to mother Africa.

Jesus, did you see

the size of her ass?

We're gonna be here

another hour.

Africa.

Want to go to Africa?

Anybody?

Anybody? Africa?

Look what I made.

Very nice.

- Free trips to Africa.

- Free.

Who wants

a free trip to Africa?

Free.

Chicken. Get the chicken. Free.

How are you, sir?

Motherfuckers, have you lost

your goddamn mind?

Can we interest you in

our free trip to Africa?

- A free trip to Africa?

- Free.

What the f*** is this sh*t?

Are you guys

together? Ma'am?

Yeah, this is my lady, homey.

Are you ok, ma'am?

Hey, don't talk

to my lady, homey.

- Are you all right?

- Hey.

Hey, don't talk

to my lady, homey.

Motherfuckin'... motherf***er,

racist piece of sh*t.

What the f*** is the

matter with you, dog?

Calm down. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Tupac insecure.

What the f*** do you mean,

trying to help me out?

Trying...

no, look.

We have tons of fun

stuff on here.

Why not help your

motherfuckin' ass out, homey?

See? This is

the problem.

Breathe.

All right, easy.

Whoa, whoa,

whoa. Dude.

Dude! Dude!

Hey. Hey.

No, no, no.

Dude, it's a joke!

It's a joke. Look.

F*** you. F*** you.

Yo.

F***in'.

F***-Ass

motherf***er.

Kill you, motherf***er.

Hey, hey!

Hey.

Let go. Let go.

Slow down here. Come on.

Come on. Break it up.

Break it up.

Break it up.

Come on.

[INDISTINCT]

Come on, break it up.

Come on. That's enough.

Stop it!

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

Just do what he says.

Come on. Let's go.

What the f*** you talking about,

- This is a joke?

- What's going on here?

Stay over there.

Stay over there.

Get back. Get back.

What's going on?

We're doing a

hidden camera show.

We're doing a f***ing

hidden camera thing.

Dude, it's...

it's not serious.

You got a permit to be here?

You got a film permit?

No, we don't have

a film permit.

Come on.

You don't have a film permit?

No.

It's all a joke, dude.

But it's not f***in' funny.

No, no.

Dude, come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Dude! Dude! [INDISTINCT]

Motherf***er.

I need backup.

Jesus, Mary.

[SQUEAKING]

You know, this

ain't gonna work.

If the dick don't taste good.

Must you use

your f***in' finger, man?

Shut up, man.

Nasty motherf***er.

Shh, shh.

Did you really have to use

your finger, nick?

Shut up.

You got a 1/2-Inch spot

on the motherf***er.

You nasty. Ha ha!

This n*gger is gay.

I ain't gay.

Your daddy's husband is gay.

[LAUGHING] Come on.

I see why your woman left you.

You can't attract a mouse.

Goddamn. You smell that?

Come on.

You smell that?

Come on, man. Put it

in there further.

That's all the dick you got?

What's that yellow sh*t dripping out

of there before the f***ing cheese?

Hey, he gonna be the first

male with a yeast infection.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Oh! Oh, sh*t!

[ALL LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]

You all chase that.

Chase that cream.

[LAUGHING]

Get that sh*t.

You ain't never had

nothin' like this.

Made a date right now.

[LAUGHING]

You got the littlest dick

out of everybody.

Aah!

[LAUGHING]

Uhh!

[INDISTINCT]

It's an experience.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Come on. Come over here.

Come on over here.

Is he eating the cheese

or sucking your dick?

[LAUGHING]

He got cheese all over...

Come on.

He doesn't even work

for his sh*t.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, sh*t.

He must have been...

[GASPS]

[LAUGHING]

Get that sh*t, n*gger.

Shh. He's scared now.

Come on, come on.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Need a bear trap.

[GIGGLING]

Ooh, ooh, ooh,

Got cheese all over my face.

Oh, sh*t.

Come on.

Ooh, there he go.

Aah!

[ALL SCREAMING]

Dude! Ooh!

[LAUGHING]

Get it off.

Get this sh*t off!

Get it off!

Get it... get it off!

You touch the motherf***er.

You gonna get it.

Uhh! Sh*t!

[SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]

No more, man.

[LAUGHING AND HOOTING]

Ooh!

[LAUGHING]

[MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLING]

[GOAT BLEATING]

U.S. Government.

U.S. Government.

Stay back, please.

Gift. Gift.

Tofa, tofa for you.

He's their problem now.

Oh, no, no, no,

not sand people.

Oh, please, not Arabs.

They smell so bad!

Come on, please!

My Jew taxes pay your salaries!

Please don't go!

Oh, you guys stink so bad,

please. This is like Detroit.

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

Oh, please don't come near me.

Oh, I hate the smell.

I can bring you children. I can

totally bring you children.

Deodorant.

Towels are for washing,

not for wearing.

Oh, I hate Arabs so much!

No!

[SHOUTING]

No, no, no, it's gonna touch.

I know where Jews are.

I can find you Jews.

[ALL SHOUTING]

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

All right,

no one understands you.

Are those even words?

Stand up.

You smell like

a black nightclub.

Your beards are horrible!

Are you one of them females

or the males?

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

You stink when you

talk so much.

Please, put down the guns

and pick up some soap.

No!

[C*CKS WEAPON]

[ULULATING] Noooo!

Hmm...

Hmm?

Mmm... ohh...

[ALL CLAMORING]

Lindsay, can we shoot you?

Sure.

[ALL CHATTERING]

This way! This way!

Over here!

Ah, perfect!

Ok, you guys got your shot.

Can I shoot you?

Yeah, sure, here.

Konichiwa, b*tch.

Really?

I want you to know

I'm gonna get...

We're out... wrap.

Ok, here we go.

It's his love that

breaks the table.

And then he punches here in

her snatch with... sorry.

[LAUGHING]

You know you don't

want to say it...

Slant-Eyed poontang, slant-Eyed

poontang, slant-Eyed poontang.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Thank you for

giving me that line.

Enjoy it.

Ha ha ha!

Thank god.

In case you missed it.

[INDISTINCT SONG]

There's all kinds of sex.

With cocky, bears and cubs,

Role play, s& M, leather.

Hand jobs, blow jobs,

all fours. Anal sex.

Let's do it one more time.

But don't do the bears

and cubs. I don't like that.

I don't even know what that is.

[LAUGHTER]

come on and don't get

in danger

I won't let you

Go ahead...

Blow 'em...

Away.

[BUZZING]

That's a cut.

Try it again. There was a f***in'

chainsaw in the background.

What was that, guys?

Wrong movie.

I would've made up a real

motherfuckin' n*gger,

You would have heard me.

You heard me,

motherf***er b*tch?

F***, kick you in the street.

In the street, n*gger!

Yeah, yeah!

Get f***ed in the ass.

Oh...

I mean, no, I mean...

Not really, but you know.

I d...

N*gger, you are some

other type of sh*t.

But what I'm sayin' is, I get

f***ed in the ass, but I like it.

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