Intermission Page #3

I wanna show you something.

- Jesus.

- You must be Sam.

Christ.

There were nine, ten people at the most.

All the windows were smashed.

So it was just a matter of

climbing up on to the top.

Well, of Sally climbing up on to the top,

and of her helping them out...

and me helping them down.

- And there was nobody killed?

- No.

- Despite the blood.

- That's amazing.

- So the ambulance came and...

- Yep, took them all away and that was that.

Made a statement to the police,

but we weren't much use.

You don't know how it happened?

- Have I got a ronnie?

- A what?

- A ronnie, mustache, like.

- Show?

Well, you're no Tom Selleck, but...

Go f*** yourself.

Sorry, Ma. F***ing idiot.

Why are you so angry, Sally?

Because she's no business, that's why.

I don't go round

talking about her physical...

Jesus.

You don't know how it happened?

Be a few settlements there, I'd say.

- You should've stayed on till the next stop.

- We should've.

Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Sam.

Sorry it had to be in, what would you call it,

such dramatic circumstances.

So, how are you finding living with Deirdre?

Her place okay?

- He thinks it's a sty.

- No, I don't.

It just needs a bit of a dusting,

hat's all.

- And a hoovering, and a mopping.

- Maybe a paint job.

Ouch. I'm messing.

No, it's great. It's early days,

but we're getting on all right, aren't we?

- And how's your wife coping with this?

- Sally.

No, I'd like to know.

Is she upset? Depressed?

- Let's go, Sam.

- No, wait a sec, Deirdre.

If he can't handle this kind of talk...

then he shouldn't put himself

in this position.

- How long you married?

- Fourteen years.

And you can, just like that,

finish with one, start with another?

That kind of sh*t sickens me,

you know that?

Sorry, Ma.

And you stay where you are. I'll go.

The stench of f***ing adultery in here.

When Vincent and I broke up,

I thought the same thing, Noeleen.

It's me.

I'm dysfunctional in some way

because I couldn't hold on to him.

So you know what I did?

I proved to myself that it wasn't...

by attempting,

by doing things that proved it.

By becoming better alone

than I'd ever been with him.

- Tell me how.

- I will.

Will you?

I can't tell the difference.

- What do you want?

- Anything.

Do you have a preference

in terms of content?

Like women and women,

or men and men?

What the f*** are you insinuating?

I don't know your preferences.

I'm only trying to help you here.

- You just want straight, yeah?

- Just people f***ing, man.

Make sure the chicks are good-looking.

I saw one of them before,

they were hound dogs.

- There you go.

- Mutts, they were.

There's no one taking dumps in this,

is there?

- You want that?

- No.

Look, Oscar, it's just f***ing, all right?

- Bit of oral, bit of anal.

- All right.

Anal men or anal women?

Can't keep your paws off her, can you?

So what happened to your sister?

She was in love with this guy

and she wanted to marry him.

Guy from London, name was Duane.

She was gonna move there with him.

Took out her savings for a new start.

A few thousand pounds.

Well, you can see where this is going,

can't you?

He convinced her to take it out in cash.

Then he stole it from her

and went back himself.

Jesus, Deirdre, get away.

You're freezing! Please, I'm serious.

Thing is, though, after he took the money...

he tied her to her bed,

told her she was a rubbish lay...

...and then did a poo on her chest.

- A what?

Ma found her.

It was like two or three days later,

and the stink, she said.

Flies crawling over her, and her hysterical.

So she moved back home then.

Hasn't trusted a man since.

Jesus!

Why would you?

Are you warm yet?

Yes, you are.

Get off!

Bastard.

F***ing bastard.

I'm telling you,

this young fella came out of nowhere.

He threw a stone through the windscreen,

a big one.

- I panicked, I swerved...

- You lost control.

Anyone would have. The bang, the shock,

Jesus, the windscreen shattering.

And yet no one saw this boy?

- None of your passengers?

- Are you joking me?

With the muck on those windows,

how could they?

They can't even see the bus stops.

I have not been negligent, man.

No way. I did nothing wrong.

Kid ran up in front of me

and hauled that rock.

F***ing pegged it, he did.

The weather seems to be

pretty much the same...

as it's been for the past couple of days...

with the wind coming up

from the south-east.

We've got squalls, sunshine patches.

We've got fairly heavy rain.

Dublin's gonna get

a lot of rain this afternoon.

- Hey, man.

- Hi.

- What you up to? You not working?

- Not anymore.

What?

Did you get let go?

- Fired.

- F***.

That's mean. You okay?

You want another one?

I don't intend stopping any time soon.

- What happened to you?

- Some f***, man, don't ask.

Some little f***er.

I was driving up by Greenhills.

Stroked jammer? Of course.

Comes out of nowhere...

...fucks a rock through the windscreen.

- What?

Into the ditch I went, banjaxed my face.

Do you believe it?

Two pints, please.

- So tell me about it.

- F*** it.

F*** nothing.

Time like this, you need to talk.

A shoulder, an ear.

Get it off your chest, man.

Speaking in front of a group.

Excellent, in fact, we'll do a list.

Do you know what I find fascinating,

an muinteoir?

- Dreams.

- We'll be doing dreams in a couple of weeks.

- Fabulous. Will we?

- We will. So, public speaking.

How does that make us feel? Anyone?

- Vulnerable?

- Good.

- Shy.

- Exposed.

Scared.

- Powerful.

- No, it's just negative things now.

Naked.

Do you ever dream you're naked,

an muinteoir?

It's fascinating. Do you ever do that?

- Okay, what else?

- In command.

Negative things. Come on, now.

- Weak.

- Weak. Excellent.

Or you're relieving yourself

on O'Connell Street.

What does that mean, an muinteoir?

Number twos, like,

in a little toilet outside the GPO...

and you're afraid to wipe your bum

because everybody will look at you.

It's fascinating and laugh, like.

- Okay, so. What's that, Maurice?

- Dreams, an muinteoir.

We're not talking about dreams, you fool.

Did you not hear him?

A couple of weeks' time, he said.

Can you not wait?

You stupid old fool, what are you?

What are you? A fool!

- What do you want?

- Give us a ten.

Don't do tens anymore.

Don't break it up that small anymore.

F***.

Out of the way.

Flatfoot, fat f***ing f*ggot.

Go on, you prick. Prolong the inevitable.

See that? Even in your, what are they?

What have you got?

Even in your Nikes, I'm more nimble.

Me in my heavy brogans. What have we got?

We've got money. Quit your wriggling!

We've got gear.

There you are.

Where the f*** is the motor?

For f***'s sake. Some f***'s after...

Shut the f*** up! You giggling whore, you.

When will he be back?

No, I can't wait that long!

This is bollocks, man, I'm telling you.

My rank, I should not have to deal with

this kind of unprofessional and...

F*** it.

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