Internet Famous Page #3

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doing comedy,

so I'm kind of

representing them.

And so I'll for sure get

all the votes

from the women.

And then I'll get

all the votes from the men.

So...

that's like all the votes.

- And we can't mop

- No

- No we won't mop

- No

'Cause we don't have

any buckets

And without water

we can't clean it

- Yeah, yeah

- It's our party

I work really hard.

You know, like,

I don't even sleep sometimes.

Trying to make

all these parodies,

so much time,

so much effort.

And for what,

one video a month?

I mean,

talk about being a slave.

But what I did find out

is I could do more videos

if I just keep the cost

and the quality down.

So I do daily videos,

or as I call them, daily vlogs.

Basically, it's anything

I wanna do that day.

You know, like sometimes

I whip out my phone

when me and my squad

are like rolling through a jam

trying to blow some cake.

Sometimes me and my boys

will just, like,

do some dope-ass challenge.

Sometimes I get real, you know,

and it gets deep A-F

when I talk about things

that are really important to me.

You know, like rape.

Hey, what's up, employees?

Okay, I am so excited

right now

because I'm meeting up

with Hanky Pank.

Oh, there he is.

- Hanky Pank.

- Hey.

We got chosen to be

one of the finalists

in the "Chris!" show

Web Star of the Year Award!

- Yes!

- Oh! Oh! Okay.

When we see you at WebCon,

we're coming.

- We're on our way tomorrow.

- We leave tomorrow.

We will give you all hugs

and kisses on the lips.

We'll do anything

you guys want.

Please, please, please,

we never ask you for anything.

- Okay, except for like merch.

- And ringtones.

Obviously, but right now,

this is so much bigger

than any of that.

If you guys vote,

we can have our own show.

And then you can tell your friends,

like, "Oh, my favorite show?"

My favorite show is

'The Tomas Show.'"

Like featuring Hank.

Hank is...

Well, he's kinda like

my brother, you know?

We hang out all the time.

We, uh, make videos together.

If I need something from the store, like

last minute, he's down to go get it.

He takes me everywhere.

He's basically my Uber.

And he's my best friend.

Right now, he's trying to do

his own thing.

You know,

start his own channel.

And, uh,

it's going pretty...

Hey, say hi to

the Hanky Panks.

- Hey, Hanky Panks!

- See, I told you.

Between you and me,

there's no Hanky Panks.

They're just employees trying to see a

glimpse of the boss in the background,

but I humor him.

'Cause, you know,

he's sweet.

And I think it gives him

a sense of worth.

Which is good,

he needs that.

Thank you.

I feel like a princess.

No problem,

Your Majesty.

Don't you guys

have school this week?

Uh...

Yeah, our parents

have no idea where we are.

Parents think

I'm staying with Doug.

And my parents think

I'm staying with Kevin.

Kevin doesn't

have any parents.

- Shut up.

- What?

It's true you don't have

any parents.

You don't have any parents.

You know,

driving can be pretty boring.

Especially on these long road

trips where you're thinking,

"Oh, God, I wish

something fun would happen."

That's where my oh-my-God-that-baby's-driving

prank comes in.

See, I get all dressed up

as my driver's seat,

I pop Lucy in my lap,

we buckle up,

and you wouldn't believe

the look on people's faces

as we drive by.

And they're thinking,

"Oh, my God.

Oh, my sweet-loving God,

is that baby driving?"

It's something that-that

they tell their friends

and their relatives.

And then one day, you got

a grandpa sitting on a porch

telling his grandkids

about the time

he saw a baby

driving a minivan.

That's real-world viral.

Veronica, Veronica.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Hi.

Hi. Oh, sweetheart.

It's so good to see you.

Please, have a seat.

Don't take the chair.

No, no, I'm joking.

Come on, bad joke.

- Jesus.

- Just put your tush

- in the chair, okay?

- Great. Thank you.

Have you ever heard

of "GoMax"?

Oh, is that the new

Channing Tatum movie?

No, it's better.

It's better.

It's the probiotic yogurt

for women on the go.

Who is gonna be

the spokesperson in this room?

Huh?

It ain't gonna be me.

- Me?

- Aha.

Wait, I just got a job?

Why not?

Oh, my God, you guys,

I booked a freakin' commercial!

Oh, my gosh, I don't have to

live in this thing anymore.

This freakin' car-house.

No way!

Not for me, Jose!

I am going to be

going places!

I'm out, I'm out.

Okay, I'm out of

the competition.

Done. Boop. Done.

Don't have to do that anymore.

I'm just excited because

I'm gonna get to something

that has substance.

Something that matters.

And it has nothing to do

with "The Wobbly Walk."

I don't...

I don't have to be known

for that anymore.

Mm-hmm.

You gonna hold that?

Okay.

Little refill.

- Oh, thank you.

- How's those waffles treating ya?

Um, just wanna say

that these waffles...

- not good.

- Oh, I'm so sorry about that.

'Cause they're the best waffles

I've ever had in my life.

I goosed ya.

I got ya good, right?

You mind tellin' me what

kind of breakfast establishment

doesn't have any

cran-raspberry syrup, huh?

You got the cranberry.

You got the raspberry.

- Where's the cran-ras?

- These drunk truckers get pretty rowdy.

- Sorry about that.

- No, I'm sorry about that.

Will you hold my baby?

- Uh, sure.

- I'ma take care of this.

You just hold my baby.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm gonna have to ask you to

lower your voice just a smidge.

Who you calling "smidge"?

I didn't realize you were the waitress.

I'm not the waitress,

I'm a man.

And I don't see

any raspberry syrup.

I'ma give you one chance

to pay your bill

and get the heck outta here.

I just spit

on your sandals.

First mistake.

Those are cute little

princess punches.

Get up.

Anyone hungry for

some waffles, huh?

- You ready?

- Please don't.

- Keep it going?

- Please, no.

Oh, my God.

That's One Scared Baby.

It's a prank.

Means I was goosing you.

That was a goose.

This is called the prestige.

Uh, feel free to clap.

Everybody, let's give

a big hand to Red.

Red's part of our local

community theatre,

and he's a heck of

a guy, too, huh?

- Please.

- Thank you, thank you.

Dale:

All right, all right.

All right, Luce,

let's get back on the road.

- Whoo!

- What's up, ladies and gentlemen?

Hi, guys!

Yes, we are riding in the Lambo!

- Lambo.

- Uh, we're on our way to WebCon right now.

And honestly, I'm just really excited to

see our people, you know what I mean?

Like see the people who have

put us in this Lambo, basically.

Once you start getting into the

hundreds of millions of views,

you start to forget, like those

are people, you know what I mean?

Do you hear that?

Wait, what is that?

God!!

Hank, what did

I tell you?!

I told you if you wanted me

to get the Lambo

so we could vlog in it, you

would have to take care of it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Be careful with...

You know what?

I'm Snapchatting

this whole thing.

- Yeah, buddy. Yeah, right now!

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