Into the Abyss Page #9

I stay busy.

I work on my case.

I have a great family,

a lot of supporters

that help me,

so I have enough distractions.

If I didn't have

enough distractions,

I might be in

a different position.

- How does time occur to you now

in your situation?

- Wow, that's a...

that's a good...

it... it really varies,

but, you know,

because, I'll...

like, I'll forget.

I'll literally forget,

and then I'll look at

my calendar

or I'll hear someone

say something,

and I'm like, "Man."

And I'll sit back,

and I'll just stare at the wall,

and I'll be like,

"Man, eight days,

seven days, six days,"

or whatever, and it's like...

it's just... I must not be

comprehending the fact

that it's that close,

because, you know,

it's hard for me to say,

you know what...

like, I talk to people,

"You know, in eight days,

these people

want to murder me,"

and it's just something that,

it's hard for me to...

hard for me to believe

that the state of Texas wants

to murder me in eight days.

- And worst case scenario,

you know exactly what is

going to happen on July 1st?

- Yeah, the execution.

Mm-hmm.

- You will be transported

to Huntsville?

- Right, the Walls Unit.

- That's a death house?

- Yes, sir.

- And you will be checked

by a medical examiner?

- I don't... no, no medical people

can be involved.

- I think they...

they have to check you

that you are fit

to be executed.

- I've never heard that,

but it might be.

- I think it's

one of these absurdities.

If you are unconscious,

for example,

you cannot be executed.

- Oh, yeah?

- Or if you are stark mad

or something...

- Yeah, yeah.

- They would not execute you.

- Yeah, that is true.

- Or if you are bleeding

from a gunshot wound,

they would not put you

onto the gurney.

- Right.

They got to treat me first

and then kill me, huh?

- Probably, yes.

That's... that's kind of crazy

to think about, right?

Yeah, I just... I just can't

allow myself to think.

I can't even picture myself

laying on a gurney,

but if it happens,

I'll have to deal with it, huh?

You know, I'll have to

deal with it,

and I'll be able to watch over

my mom from heaven

with a clear conscience

and be at peace.

You know, like I said,

for a long time,

my life has been unhappy,

so finally I can find me

some peace, huh?

- And you are

at peace with yourself.

- Now.

- Mm-hmm.

Took a long time.

- Yes, absolutely did.

Took a long time

to realize what a man was.

I was out there

acting like a child.

I acted like a child

when I got in here at first,

but I'm confident in...

in who I am now.

- Michael Perry,

I wish you all the best.

- Yes, thank you.

I don't know

what's gonna happen, huh?

We're gonna see.

We're gonna find out.

I'll find out on Monday.

- They knew

what I was telling them

was gonna be the truth.

I mean, I'm not gonna

tell you anything that...

I'm gonna tell you everything

that's gonna happen back here.

At 4:
00, a guy's

gonna come in here,

and they're gonna

fingerprint you.

Shortly after that,

we're gonna allow you

to take a shower,

and then we're gonna put you

in free world clothes,

let you... let you dress

in free world clothes.

Free world clothes would be

clothes you and I would wear.

request for the last meal,

they'll bring it in,

and you'll sit there

and eat your last meal.

During that time, if you need

anything else, just ask.

You know, you need

some more juice, punch,

or whatever else

we got back here, just ask.

You know, and they...

you know,

sometimes we get

strange requests.

You know, within reason,

I'm gonna get it for you.

- Give me one

of those requests.

- Oh, one was,

"Man, I'd sure like to

smoke a doobie right now."

Well, that's not gonna happen,

you know.

The guy with the key,

he opens the door,

swings the door open.

There's another

correctional officer behind him

and another one behind me.

So soon as he does,

he follows me in,

and then the other

correctional officers

follow right in behind him.

So there'll be two in front of...

in front of the inmate,

and then the other three

right behind him.

I tell him jump up

on the gurney,

which then I automatic...

- It's only a few steps

from the cell.

- I would say no more than

ten steps, if that much.

I would immediately

go around to the gurney

'cause I always took care

of the left leg.

So soon as he laid down,

I took care of the left leg.

The other person

who was in front with me

would take care of the right.

The... the three

that fell in behind,

one would take care

of the... the right arm.

The other one would take care

of the left arm,

and the other one would be there

in case the inmate,

once he lays down,

if he had a response

to try to get back up,

his job was to hold...

to hold his shoulders down.

You know, you're not...

once you're up there,

you're up there, you know.

Within that time,

us four people

would have him done.

Probably within about

he'd be strapped down

that quick,

'cause we all knew

exactly where our straps were

and what we were

supposed to do.

The time.

Do... do a process.

We trained on it.

It's the last time

you're gonna see...

I'm gonna see him

with his eyes open,

because after

the execution's done

and the process went

and then... then they call

the doctor in

to pronounce him dead,

then everybody leaves.

My job begins again 'cause

I have to go back in there,

and that's... that's all...

also kind of difficult

because here you sit with this

individual eight or ten hours,

all day long,

and now the last thing

you're doing

is removing those straps.

The straps have to be removed

and put him on another gurney

for the funeral home.

And then, you thought...

you didn't think about

none of this

while you're doing this,

the procedure.

You know, none of this, you're...

you don't keep...

you don't put those emotions

out there.

Do you... you do the job

and go home.

- You did how many executions,

roughly?

- It was over 125, 120.

It was somewhere over 120.

It was a bunch.

We got to the point to where,

especially after I...

I think I promoted to captain

in '90.

We were doing two a week,

and that was getting tiresome.

- And what happened to you then?

I... back when they...

when they brought in

Karla Faye,

I stayed back there with her.

Now, definitely that was

the first female

that we were fixing to execute.

I remember one thing

so vividly,

that it was an hour before,

and I was standing there,

and the chaplain

was standing there,

and she looked at me,

and she goes,

"Thank you, Captain Allen,

for everything you've done."

I said, "You're welcome."

You know, that's all

I could say, you know.

What else can...

what else am I gonna say?

What, "I'm fixin' to strap

you down in another hour"?

Which we went...

procedure and everything went

just the way it was supposed to.

You know,

she was pronounced dead.

I went back in there,

and I took the gurn...

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