Irma La Douce Page #4

What I mean is, if you hate somebody,

you can do that any time, any place, but...

...if you like somebody,

you gotta hide in dark corners.

You know, I'm sort of glad about

that girl in Dijon, with the cough.

- You are?

- Because frankly, in the police van...

...I thought that you'd

never in your life, uh...

Oh, she wasn't the only girl.

I've had more than one girl.

- How many?

- Altogether?

- Oh, let me see.

- Three?

Not as many as that. That is...

What's your name?

Nes... Nestor. Nestor Patou.

Well, don't take all night, Nestor Patou.

I won't.

Didn't you say you had a sleeping mask?

You're really something.

What's going on? What are you doing?

Irma!

Irma!

Irma!

Irma!

Irma!

Irma...

Where are you, Irma?!

Where are you, Irma? Hm?

Hm?

What are you doing way over there?

It's four o'clock in the afternoon.

- Come back.

- What's gotten into you?

I don't know, I guess

I've become an addict.

Irma!

- What do you want?

- I wanna talk to you!

You go to hell!

I'm coming up to get my clothes.

Just a minute.

- Who is it? That big ox again?

- Uh-huh.

If you have something

personal to discuss...

No, stay right where you are.

Catch.

But what about my suits

and my silk shirts and my jewellery?

This is what you came with

and this is what you're leaving with.

Why, you little...

You're lucky I don't

take back that gold tooth!

I'm gonna come up there

and break your arm!

Oh, you are

Tiger.

Come on out, Tiger.

You want my friend here

to beat you up again?

You'll be hearing from me.

And stay away!

- You could beat him up again, right?

- Naturally.

It's just that I don't like to

pick on anybody who isn't my size.

How did you get mixed up with

a character like that, anyway?

Should've seen the one I had before.

He was not only mean...

...he used to run around with

other women, and on my money.

Why do you have to have anybody at all?

Everybody needs somebody.

Like Coquette needs me.

Who wants to be a stray dog?

You've got to belong to someone,

even if he kicks you once in a while.

- Don't you have any family?

- No.

My mother was a very successful woman.

She used to have the same spot

outside the hotel that I do.

Then one day she met a guy,

fell in love with him and quit.

- That's very romantic.

- Romantic? It's stupid.

Gave up her career - for what?

Some slob from the market...

...dragged around heavy sides

of beef till he dropped dead.

It was too late for Momma

to make a comeback.

She wound up as a cashier

in the fish market.

Only smart thing she ever did

was not marry my father.

You mean you're not le... legitimate?

That's right.

You'd think with a background like that

I'd have turned out no good.

I know you're doing very well, but a girl

like you - there's other kinds of jobs.

This isn't just a job, it's a profession.

Of course.

Somebody has to do these things but,

in your case, now that I know you better...

I get that all the time.

The other night I met a man...

...who thought I was too good for this,

and you know what he does?

- He's a mortician. Now I ask you.

- Ask me what?

Why is it nine out of ten try to reform me?

You're not one of those, are you?

Who, me? Oh, no.

I used to be one of those.

Petit bourgeois, but that was yesterday.

I know better now.

I don't think she cares for me.

You two better make friends

if you're gonna live here.

- Live here?

- Why? Don't you like the idea?

Sure.

I like the idea, it's just that I had no idea.

- Is this all you've got?

- Just my old uniform and my toilet kit.

Try one of those suits in the closet.

Go ahead.

Let's see how you look in the brown one

with the pinstripes. He hardly ever wore it.

Said it was too conservative.

I'm afraid the sleeves may be a little...

Don't worry about that.

There's a brown derby that goes with it.

- What are the glasses for?

- The races.

Oh. Gee, they look very powerful.

- Oops.

- What's the matter?

Wrong end.

- You want me to turn around?

- No, I mean the glasses.

I'll bet nobody ever

saw you like this before.

- You'd lose.

- Through field glasses?

No bet.

When I first met you, I thought

you were pretty. I was totally wrong.

You're beautiful.

- You're outta your mind or out of focus.

- Without make-up, you look about 14.

I wore make-up when I was 14,

so I could pass for 17.

- Then, by the time I was 17...

- Never mind.

I don't wanna hear about it.

- This coat looks ridiculous.

- Well, have it fixed.

Just take it into Maurice the tailor.

All right, but I won't wear the hat.

But you have to. It all goes together.

The suit, the hat, the glasses.

For when you go to the racetrack.

The racetrack? Who's got time for

the racetrack? I gotta get myself a job.

- What do you mean, a job?

- I can find something around the market.

Unloadin' trucks, cleanin' the stalls or...

What's the matter?

Did I say somethin' wrong?

- You're trying to make me feel cheap.

- Cheap?

How would it look if I let you go to work?

D'you want the other girls to think

I can't support my man?

I want you to be better dressed

than anybody else.

I want you to have more money in

your pockets. I wanna be proud of you.

But, Irma, you don't understand.

I never felt like this about anybody...

That's why I'm gonna work twice as hard

for you as I ever did for any of the others.

Your turn.

Hey, Tiger.

I don't feel like playin' any more.

Get somebody else.

- Give me a drink.

- Cognac? Pernod? Calvados?

Yeah, and in that order.

Why don't you shut

that damn jukebox off?

What's the problem?

You've got a gold mine working for you.

- And shut yourself off, too.

- Say, I'm lookin' for Irma.

- The one with the bow-wow?

- She's not here. Go away.

I've been away:
Tangiers, Naples, Cairo.

I met up with a lotta dames,

but there's nothing like that Irma.

- Get outta here.

- What is this?

I know about you. You're the one with

Brigitte Bardot tattooed on your chest.

Hey, you crazy?

- She must know two sailors.

- A hell of a way to treat a customer.

I'm so jealous I'm goin' outta my mind.

You must be. A mac falling in love

with his poule. You're like an impresario.

You're handling Pavlova and

you want her to dance just for you?

It's a God-given talent. It was

meant to be shared with the public.

Again.

- Hey! There's the bow-wow!

- Come on, sailor, keep rowing.

Whew! What a night! Everybody

seems to have the same idea.

Always happens when there's a full moon.

No time to catch my breath.

- How's my baby?

- I'm fine.

No, he isn't. As a matter of fact,

he's very grouchy.

We can fix that.

I have a little present for you.

- What is it?

- A stick pin. You put it in your tie.

- I don't need it.

- Yes, you do.

Mimi got Casablanca Charlie one.

This one has real sapphires.

- Let's go.

- Go where?

- Home.

- It's only one o'clock.

Pack of Gitanes.

You know I never quit before five.

- Take the night off.

- Just walk off the job, just like that?

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