Iron Sky Page #2

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What? The President?

Come on man, I thought you want me

to take you to Mac store or something

You said that you know the President

of These United States of Americas

Right, of course

That President.

May I meet this President too?

Hey, Miss Richter, welcome to my planet.

-Get the hell out of my property

-You got to get out of here

Hold on there Boss man

That may not be the sharpest move

Let me go talk to the brothers

They know me, Im one of them

Are you with me?

Now you're talking

Now

I am happy to see you all man

You all know me.

-Washington.

-I mean ...

That ain't one of yours, is it?

look man you aint got to

bring that sh*t out

I'm a peace loving brother

-f*** it man

-Are you alright?

-Do i f***ing look alright to

you miss crazy f***ing nazi?

What the hell just happen?

You know..

No, mother-effin way

what you sick sons of b*tch's do to me?

-I should've told you

-What? That I look like a

f***ing polar bear?

You two really know how to f***

up a guys christmas

quiet you fool.

what is wrong with you

We made you Aryan, you are

one of us now

-You should be thanking us

-Thanking you?

What I should have done is let those

brothers come here with there size 15s

put a foot so far up your ass you

can taste the toe nail for 2 weeks

Klaus.

Bring me to your leader,

James Washington.

Hey, what the f***?

Excuse me

Get your hands off me,

you mother...

-You can use her to get to your boss?

-Yes, she's the cheese

-And she knows the president?

-oh yeah yeah,they real tight

Come on.

you f***ing bastards.

Do you know who I am? huh?

You just kidnapped the wrong woman

The wrong f***ing woman

I hope your having a good time

Im gonna kick your f***ing ass.

Excellent.

My turn.

I am Commander Klaus Adler of the 4th Reich

We are based on the moon

I'm told you know the president

of these United States of the Americas.

You will take us to that

the President, because ...

-I have a very special present for him

-him?

Well he'll love that

He just loves presents.

As soon as my mission

is accomplished

Nazi invasion forces

will be called in under

my directions

and we will end the good

times for the bad people

And just how do you propose

to do that?

-Well simply eliminate them.

-What?

-Sorry, that is not what we are told

-Renate, I do not think that you ...

Yeah. Why not?

Why tell you this woman why we are here

like you keep telling your pupils

I would love to do that

You see...

the National Socialist Party is the party

is the people's party, nothing more...

We wish to return to earth

with our message of

peace and unity

love through virtue

and kindness, for example.

We are healthy,

in mind and body.

Our spirits are brave and true

We achieved, because we are strong,

and disciplined in our cause

There is simply no believe

that they can match ours

because peace and unity is the gift

that we bring to all mankind.

What you and all earthlings

need to know ...

-Yeah, I get it

This is good.

This is going to work.

You, I need

And you ...

I want

Alright, lets go meet the president

Madam President ...

here's the miracle

you asked for.

-Who is that man?

-He will lead the campaign troops

Renate, please ...

this is very simple

The world is sick ...

and we are the doctors.

The world is anemic

and we are the vitamin.

The world is weary,

but we are the strength

We are here to make

the world healthy once again.

With hard work ...

with honesty, with clarity,

with decency.

We are the product of

loving mothers and brave fathers.

We are the embodiment

of love and bravery.

We are the gift of both

God and science.

We are the answer to the question.

We are the promise delivered to all mankind

For that we raise our hand,

to one nation.

We step to the beat of one drum

....of this world

We are the people that carry children

on our shoulders.

the same way as our fathers

carry us and their fathers carried them

We are the one people united and strong

We are the one people with certainty

moral certainty

We are invincible

and we have no fear

Because the truth makes us one.

The moon Nazis are coming. What's wrong

with you people, can't you see?

Look, I've been there.

I'm telling you.

They have all this moon base

and this space thing,

and they comin to take over

You must listen because

the Nazis are coming.

They coming to get us all. Why

don't you listen to me? I mean ...

Renata

Washington.

James Washington.

I'm so glad to see you alive.

Look i got one,

this is the b*tch that made me white

as a f***ing snowflake

Come on people, help me.

Help me.

I saved your life

So, you're a formerly

dead, black model ...

who is now suddenly

a living white hobo

after spending the weekend

on the moon. Is that correct?

-Yes, that's correct

-So I was listening

And you are Neil Armstrong after

after the sex change operation...

Is this correct?

No, that is not correct

You were not listening at all.

My name is Richter.

Renate Richter.

I tried to save this mans life and

I think he's stupid, childish and ungrateful

ok ask Miss Moon-Nazi here, was I,

or was I not on the

dark side of the moon

Yes, Mr. James Washington was

on the dark side of the moon.

There, what did I tell you

I am black, but now I'm white.

I went to the dark side of the moon

but i'm now back.

The Nazis are coming to kill us all

And you guys are going to be so sorry

that you didnt listen to me.

Mr Washington James,

Why are you so upset and angry?

-Get lost.

-But I do not understand

We made you white

We taught you the National Socialist

message about peace and unity

You people have robbed me of everything.

My race, my identity, my career.

And Im beginning to think

my flipping mind too,

I mean just everything

Do you know this?

Yes.

Come on in. I will explain it to you

Then you'll understand it.

you are one strange broad,

ill give you that

oh you know your buying

popcorn right?

man...What bullshit

It was ...

-It was so long.

-They coulda edited down a bit

He was mocking the fuhrer

Im getting the sense theres alot

about nazis you don't know...

-But I am a Nazi

-Yeah, I know but you not like...

Well like them

A bunch of stupid bullies

No, I'm sure they're good boys

and loyal to the Reich

and their mothers

look, they are wearing the symbol of love

The swastika?

Yeah.

I have never heard they call that before.

No.

What we got here, blond hair, blue

eyes, nice rack

Even Hitler will get a hard-on

-Look guys, we don't want any trouble

-Get lost hobo

-I got a funny story to tell you

your not gonna believe this...

-Stop that, that is enough

What she needs is a good war

A war always make a president popular.

well I might be able to

help her out there

how do you mean?

One word from me, and the

invasion from the moon begins

-You never break character do you?

-No.

I can never be broken

-You smell so good.

-The time has come

I will show you my plans.

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