Irrational Man Page #4

I know.

I don't know what to do.

I'm at my wit's end.

Who's the judge?

Uh, Spangler. Thomas Spangler.

How'd this guy ever wind up

in family court? It's just...

They're political appointees.

Some are okay, but a lot of 'em are

just bums who are getting paid off.

It's not right.

He awards the kids to Frank.

Frank doesn't even look after them.

- It's true...

- Frank doesn't even want them.

He doesn't care about his own kids.

I deliver them to him,

they don't want to go.

They're crying.

They're crying.

What does Frank do?

He sticks 'em in a corner

of the garage he works at.

And they sit underground all day.

I mean, they should be outside,

in the fresh air.

And now he's gonna

switch custody to Frank?

- On what grounds?

- On no grounds.

Because he's friendly in some way

with Frank's lawyer.

Switching custody

would be a disaster.

It doesn't make sense.

I brought in the kids' teachers,

I brought in the kids' doctors.

It doesn't matter.

And you're sure he can't be recused?

We tried.

My lawyer tried and failed.

I can't keep payin' all these legal bills

and the judge knows it.

So, every time I want something,

he says, "Make a motion."

And we do, but he turns me down.

And it's costin' me everything I got.

- And I'm gonna lose my kids.

- Aw.

And you're sure he's cozy

with Frank's lawyer?

Oh, God,

they look at each other, they smile.

I got a bad break,

drawin' this judge.

It's just so unfair.

I'm due in court in six weeks.

If he doesn't postpone it again,

which he does,

because he knows it helps Frank.

I can't get a decent night's sleep.

I wish I could take the kids

and move to Europe.

I mean, I actually thought of

taking them out of the country.

What, and hide for the rest of your life?

You'd be a fugitive.

I feel for you, Carol, I do.

And you're such a good mother.

I hope the judge gets cancer.

He won't get cancer.

Because wishing doesn't work.

If you want him dead,

you have to make it happen.

But you'd never be able to pull it off,

and even if you did,

you'd be a prime suspect.

On the other hand,

I could kill him for you, lady,

and no one in the world

would dream I did it.

I could rid you of this roach

and end all your suffering.

It was at this moment

that my life came together.

I could perform this blessing

for that poor woman

and no one would ever connect me to it.

I don't know any of the parties involved,

I have no motive,

and when I walk out of here,

I'll never lay eyes on

any of these people again.

All I need to know is the name.

Judge Thomas Spangler.

Are you okay?

Wow, God.

I got a little dizzy in there.

What, you're shaking.

- I guess, um...

- Are you all right?

An anxiety attack or something.

- I have medicine at home.

- Okay.

Yeah, I don't know why I feel so dizzy.

Everything about killing

Judge Spangler turned me on.

The idea of helping this woman,

of taking action,

of ridding the world of the kind of vermin

that makes the world

an extra hell for all of us.

I was intrigued by the creative challenge

of bringing off a perfect murder.

It was a high-stakes risk,

but the risk made me feel alive.

- Sorry. Hey, you were great.

- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you for coming.

- Yeah, of course.

I've been thinking about that woman

that we overheard all day. Have you?

- Yeah, me, too, yeah.

- It's amazing what happens to some people.

God, I don't blame her

for wishing him dead.

I'd be rooting for him

to have a heart attack,

as awful as that sounds.

No. I mean, don't you think

that there are some people that die

and with their death,

the world becomes

a slightly better place instantly?

Mmm, I don't think it's

quite as simple as that.

I mean, he could be a terrible judge,

but a decent loving father.

- First off, he's not a father.

- How do you know?

I was so fascinated, I couldn't help

but check him out on my computer.

My God, you remembered his name?

Even if he was a good family man,

that's like those, you know,

Mafia bosses who do horrible things,

and, what, we're supposed to cut them slack

because they're wonderful

to their wives and children?

You have to resist the temptation

to overthink a very clear-cut issue.

You know, he's a rotten judge,

not impartial as he's vowed to be,

crushing a woman and her kids

simply because he has the power to do it.

No one can stop him.

I mean...

It's not that ambiguous,

even though it's ugly to say it.

He's a roach who'd be better stamped out.

The dizziness and anxiety

had disappeared,

and I accepted completely, in fact,

embraced my freedom to choose action.

I was too excited to fall asleep.

My mind was racing with ideas,

plans to kill Judge Spangler.

Thanks to a serendipitous encounter

with an unknown woman,

my life suddenly had a purpose.

When I finally did fall asleep,

I slept the sleep of the just.

- Morning.

- Morning.

Oh, I know what I want.

I want the orange juice, French toast,

hash browns and double bacon.

Hey, what happened to

the usual black coffee?

Can I help it if I'm famished?

Well, bravo.

You want cinnamon on the French toast?

- Yes, I want cinnamon.

- Okay.

- Hi.

- Hi!

Good morning.

Whoa, you're full of energy this morning.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I made a big decision last night.

- You did?

Mmm-hmm.

To take control of my own life.

Well, that's good.

What prompted this reawakening?

Did you have a religious epiphany?

I just decided it's time to stop whining

and to take matters into my own hands

and make something happen.

Well, that's good,

because, uh, to be honest,

some of us here were

kind of worried about you.

- Huh.

- You seemed at such a low point.

The trick is not to

examine things too closely.

Not to debate every issue,

but to go with your gut feeling.

You know, and choosing action, to do,

rather than to observe

and get lost in conventional clichs.

I think I follow. Philosophy is

not a strong suit, you know, so...

Yeah, I think I know

what your strong suit is...

I'm a little slow.

Oh, really?

I knew you'd love that lighthouse.

It's one of my favorite

places in the world.

Oh, it's so beautiful here.

I can't help thinking of

that phrase by Emily Dickinson,

"Inebriate of air."

To be drunk on air.

Not to have to rely on single malt scotch.

You know, you once said that

you used to fool around with poetry.

Mmm. Yeah, I destroyed

all my poems in a fit of rage,

when my funny, sweet friend,

this guy I grew up with my whole life,

stepped on a f***ing land mine in Iraq.

Oh, Jesus.

But you know, maybe if you like,

I could try writing again for you.

I mean, I'm not very good,

but you know,

I might enjoy trying again for you.

You know I'm in love with you.

You think you are.

What you are is in love

with the romantic concept

of being in love with

your college professor.

The correct road for you is

with that terrific guy you're going with.

Is that really what you think?

I'll always be your friend.

And even your poet laureate.

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