Irrational Man Page #6

Synopsis: A new philosophy professor arrives on a small town campus near Newport, Rhode Island. His name, Abe Lucas. His reputation : bad. Abe is said to be a womanizer and an alcoholic. But what people do not know is that he is a disillusioned idealist. Since he has become aware of his inability to change the world, he has indeed been living in a state of deep nihilism and arrogant desperation. In class, he only goes through the motions and outside he drinks too much. But as far as sex is concerned, he is just a shadow of himself now: depression is not synonymous with Viagra! For all that, he can't help being attracted to one of his students, pretty and bright Jill Pollard. He enters into a relationship with her which remains platonic, even if Jill would not say no to more. The situation remains unchanged for a while until, one day, in a diner, Abe and Jill surprise a conversation that will change the course of their lives dramatically...
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Woody Allen
Production: Sony Pictures Classics
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
53
Rotten Tomatoes:
46%
R
Year:
2015
95 min
Website
3,040 Views


- Here, happy birthday.

- Thank you.

Happy birthday!

Oh, thank you, oh.

Blow.

- Yay!

- All right.

Okay.

What is this gonna be?

Roy, this is exactly the

sweater that I wanted,

but I mentioned it months ago.

- I thought you forgot. Thank you.

- You look so pretty in it.

I love it.

So, where are you

taking her for her birthday?

We are going to the Colonial

to see a new comedy over there.

You know, I should actually get my things.

Okay.

- The political satire.

- Yeah.

I heard that was very good.

- We should go see that.

- Yeah, it's supposed to be great.

My parents and Roy

gave me a birthday cake

and some presents,

and they were all very sweet.

But I must admit...

I was hurt there was no

acknowledgment from Abe Lucas.

I got out of the park

and no one saw me.

I never saw Spangler drink the juice.

And while I tried to stay focused

at our weekend faculty meeting,

my mind was a million miles away.

The body of the jogger

who died of an apparent heart attack

in Lippitt Park today

was identified as Judge Thomas Spangler,

a Rhode Island state

judge in domestic court.

The news took colleagues by surprise,

as the judge was said

to have been in good health,

and exercised regularly.

Judge Spangler was 61.

Next morning,

I rushed out to get the papers.

And there it was.

A great feeling of accomplishment

came over me.

I didn't write a vitriolic,

well-reasoned piece about judicial abuse

that would wind up just so much verbiage,

accomplishing nothing.

I took direct action and

eliminated a cancer.

The world was a finer place

by some infinitesimal percentage.

The woman would never know

she had a benefactor,

but now, at her court hearing,

there was every chance

she'd have a fair shot.

Yeah, of course, I read it.

It's just the most amazing thing.

I'm stunned.

What? No, no.

We have nothing to feel guilty about.

I mean, he was terrible.

Hey, listen, what are you doin' later?

Are you free?

'Cause I think we should have dinner.

Just the two of us.

Yeah, we'll have a wicked celebration.

7:
30? All right, perfect.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

I love that you order for me.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

God, I, you know, I feel great tonight.

Relaxed and happy.

Well, it, it's supposed

to be a celebration, right?

Although I think it is a little macabre

to suggest celebrating someone's death.

You know, life's ironic, isn't it?

One day a person has a morass

of complicated, unsolvable problems,

you know, the world seems black,

and her troubles seem overwhelming,

and then, in the batting of an eye,

the dark clouds part

and she can enjoy a decent life again.

- It's just, it's astounding.

- Hmm.

Sometimes, just a little thing.

Like a sudden heart attack.

- Or, you know, hitting the lottery.

- Right, hmm.

I'm actually celebrating

for the second time in three days.

Second time?

My birthday was the day before yesterday.

Mmm.

No, I know.

I knew that you knew.

I made sure that you knew.

I was actually a little upset that you

didn't call to wish me a happy birthday.

Aw, Jill. You know, I wanted to.

I even got you a present

and then I thought, you know,

I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

What wrong idea, that you like me?

Well, you know that I like you.

I just...

I don't want you to have fantasies.

Why not?

Because you can do better than me.

Oh, God. Really, Abe?

Don't you think I can decide that?

All right. Here.

Happy birthday.

Oh, my God.

Is this my present?

Yeah, come on, it's nothing.

It's not nothing, Abe!

This is beautiful.

And it's Edna St. Vincent Millay.

You really are a romantic, aren't you?

I marked off the poems

I thought you'd like most, you'll see.

Mmm.

Well, what I know of hers,

I absolutely love.

What am I doin' sittin' here

opposite you over candlelight?

I said I wouldn't let this happen.

But it has happened.

Hey, come on.

We're celebrating, right?

It's been a pretty good day.

You had a birthday.

I don't wanna eat,

I wanna go to your place.

Jill.

I want to.

- No.

- Yes.

It's my birthday.

I swore I wouldn't,

but I don't know what's come over me.

What's come over you

is that you're finally celebrating life...

Instead of romanticizing death

with your crazy Russian Roulette.

You have a boyfriend.

I'm not going to get in the way of that.

Roy and I aren't exclusive,

I told you that.

I don't believe you.

Roy would say different.

I don't wanna talk about it.

I loved making love with you.

Yes, it was very nice for me, too.

Oh, it was just very nice?

I feel like I've accomplished

something worthwhile.

Like my life has meaning.

Well, I'm very flattered

that you think making love to me

has given your life meaning.

My writing was flowing,

the creative juices unblocked.

I was happy and enjoying

a sense of well-being,

and I'd begun an affair with Jill,

something I'd been determined not to do,

and yet was carried along

on the sudden momentum

of the sheerjoy of living.

The thought that I had once been

indifferent to existence

seemed preposterous.

How is everything?

I haven't seen you.

Yeah, really good, you know.

Everything's just been fallin' into place.

- Huh.

- You look great, as always.

I may have some free time next week,

if you wanna, you know...

Uh-huh.

Or am I encroaching on

your other love life?

Hey, give me a break.

Abe!

Hey, I tried to call you.

Did you see what happened?

Did you see the papers?

No, what?

Hi. Judge Spangler was murdered.

- What are you talking about?

- He was murdered.

I don't understand.

Wasn't it a heart attack?

Yeah, it was a heart attack,

but they did an autopsy,

and it wasn't cardiac arrest,

it was poison.

- Poison?

- Yeah. It was poison.

Somebody poisoned his juice.

- You've got to be kidding.

- I know.

Well, what made them do an autopsy?

Well, don't they always do an autopsy?

I think that they suspected that

it wasn't a heart attack right away,

and they just thought it was poison

and so they did the autopsy.

Who's Judge Spangler?

- He's a judge...

- This judge.

That we had overheard

someone talking about in a diner.

- This crazy story that some...

- Oh, yeah?

I don't have time for a crazy story

right now, but I will see you soon.

- Okay.

- I mean, can you believe that?

- No.

- Isn't it awful?

You know, he must've had a lot of enemies.

Well, God, I'm sure,

but we were celebrating.

I know, but you know,

I still can't say I'm sorry.

Well, who do you think it was?

Do you think it was the woman?

- I don't know...

- Or, one of her friends or something?

Well, what, what did the police say?

I'm Abe Lucas and I've murdered.

I've had many experiences

and now a unique one.

I've taken a human life.

Not in battle or self-defense,

but I made a choice I believed in

and I saw it through.

I feel like an authentic human being.

Today we're gonna discuss

existential choice.

That life has the meaning

you choose to give it.

And we'll examine

Rate this script:3.7 / 6 votes

Woody Allen

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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