Irrational Man Page #8

- Basically, we had this long conversation.

- Right.

And he said that he felt like

I wasn't being fair to him.

And he was right. I wasn't.

But I didn't know what to do anymore.

You would love Abe.

He is so interesting.

You know Rita Richards?

Oh, yes, are you gonna tell me

that she had an affair with him?

Because who on the faculty

has not slept with Rita Richards?

No, she has this hilarious theory

about Abe Lucas.

Oh, God, here we go.

She thinks he would be a good suspect

in that case of the murdered judge.

You know, the guy who's

all over the papers?

Oh, please.

- She's kidding.

- I mean, she's half-kidding.

Oh, come on.

How did she come to

that bizarre conclusion?

I don't even remember.

We were at her husband's barbecue.

And she starts yelling about

how Abe had argued

that the judge deserved to die.

And then something about...

I don't know, the aesthetics

of committing a perfect crime.

- Whatever, she's crazy.

- Oh, she's crazy!

She's nuts.

Hey, we should go

horseback riding again, soon.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- That was fun.

Naturally, I didn't believe

there was any substance

to Rita Richards' so-called theory,

and yet, for some reason, it bothered me.

Here, two poems I wrote for you.

- You didn't.

- I did.

- Oh, my God.

- No, don't read them now.

I'm too embarrassed.

If you hate them, throw 'em away.

If they move you, they're yours.

That's very sweet.

Hey, is something wrong?

- No.

- No?

You seem a tiny bit off.

No, I'm just moved.

Without even reading them,

I'm just moved by the gesture

of you writing these.

Aw, clever student.

Are you sure you're okay?

I'm just looking at you.

It seemed absurd to me

that I could entertain even

the slightest doubt about Abe.

And then a week later,

I got a chance to hear

Rita Richards' theory firsthand.

I ran into her in a local bar

where she had been

sitting alone and drinking,

and was a little drunk and talkative.

- Hi.

- How are you, Miss Pollard?

- Great.

- Hi, Kim. How's it goin'?

Uh, can I catch up to you?

- Hello.

- I was just thinking about you.

I was just thinking about

you too, actually.

- You were?

- Yes.

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

I'm good.

I ran into Ellie Tanner actually.

And she said that

you had a theory about Abe.

Oh! Oh, yeah, well,

it's what's called a crackpot theory.

But it's not totally off the wall.

Well, I love a crackpot theory.

- Yeah, you promise you won't tell?

- You have my word.

You wanna hear it?

Sit down.

You've been following that judge

who got poisoned in the papers?

- Spangler? Judge Spangler.

- Spangler.

- Spangler, right.

- Yes.

Well, they don't know who did it.

My theory is, uh...

Abe Lucas of our philosophy department.

Our mutual crush.

Well, you...

That's, that's very, very intriguing.

Well, it's crazy, but it's not, you know?

Well, why do you think Abe?

- Well, once or twice, when I was alone...

- Could I have a white wine, please?

Let's just say in, like, a moment

of post-passionate intimacy...

- No, I understand...

- We'd talk, yeah.

- You don't have to get too graphic...

- And we both said that

we had experienced many things in life.

But one thing that he

had never experienced,

but wondered was

what it would be like to actually kill.

- To kill?

- Yes.

Well, that sounds like random,

silly, Abe talk.

I mean, you know how he gets

when he's had a few.

- Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.

- He's dramatic.

Oh, that's exactly

what I thought, too, you know?

It's just Abe being Abe.

But then my husband

saw him leaving the campus,

very early the morning

that the judge was poisoned.

Like very early, like 6:30.

I mean, have you ever known Abe

to get up at 6:
30?

He barely makes it to class on time.

Okay, then your theory is

that he gets up at 6:30,

and he goes to Lippitt Park,

and he goes up to a total stranger,

and he drops poison

in the juice of a total stranger.

I mean, he didn't even know the judge.

He couldn't get that close, and then,

if he knew the judge, he wouldn't...

I mean, he just wouldn't do it.

He's radical, but he's not nuts.

Let me give you the final tidbit.

A few weeks ago, I lost my lab key.

Now I never lose anything,

but that key was missing from my bag,

and it opens all the doors

to all the lab rooms

that have all those

dangerous chemicals and poisons.

All right, well...

You sure have really got

that theory down, don't you?

- Like I said...

- I'll think about it.

I'll weigh it out.

There was no question

I was rattled by Rita's outrageous theory.

I knew Abe had had a very angry reaction

to the judge's unfair treatment

of that poor woman.

And what was he doing out at 6:30

on a Saturday morning?

My thoughts were very

mixed-up and troubled.

And more devastating revelations

were to come.

But for the moment,

I lapsed into complete denial,

and told myself this was too absurd

to even contemplate.

I must not get carried away

with my overactive imagination.

And yet, a dark cloud had crossed the Moon.

- Hey.

- Abe.

What's on your mind?

What are you thinkin'?

Nothing.

I was actually, I was thinking

that I used to come here and jog.

You know, I'll jog with you if you want.

I'd love to get back into shape.

No, you'd have to get up very early.

I run early and you're a night person.

Yeah, well, that's why I quit last year.

That and no will to extend my life,

but now...

Rita Richards' husband actually

told me that he saw you leaving the campus

really early, at like 6:30 or something,

on a Saturday morning.

- 6:
30?

- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that was the morning

Judge Spangler died.

Yeah, I had to go to Providence for an MRI.

- Oh, really?

- Mmm-hmm.

- You didn't say anything.

- Well, I didn't want to alarm anyone.

It was a little benign thing,

but the doctor wanted me to check it out.

He didn't think it was anything horrible.

- I'm glad it was nothing.

- Yeah.

- Mmm.

- Don't worry.

- I'm relieved.

- Mmm.

It was hard for me

to keep my mind on school work.

I had this growing sense of anxiety.

And realizing I always had

a tendency to overdramatize,

I tried to keep my fantasies in check.

And still, walking home,

I passed Abe's house,

and knowing he would be

busy teaching all afternoon,

I couldn't resist doing a crazy thing.

Once I was inside Abe's house,

I felt I was betraying him.

And I felt guilty and stupid.

I couldn't imagine what I expected to find.

And yet on his desk

was a copy of Crime and Punishment,

with margin notes

that had Judge Spangler's name

and a quote of Hannah Arendt's.

Oh, are you kidding?

Jill!

- Hey!

- Oh, hi.

Oh, you look so pretty.

I love your hair today.

Oh, God, thank you.

- It's a mess.

- Nuh-uh.

Um, how's your paper coming?

Good, actually, thanks to Abe Lucas.

I ran into him in the chem lab,

and he gave me this

whole list of people to read

to understand those confusing points

that I was talking about, so...

- He was in the chem lab?

- Yeah.

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