Irrational Man Page #9

He was there after hours.

I really startled him. I felt so bad.

What was he doing in the lab after hours?

I don't know.

I think he's researching on a book,

or something that he's writing about,

like, poison or chemistry,

or one of those things, so...

But in the lab, all that poison

and toxic stuff is locked away.

Yeah, but he had a key.

Hey, why are you actin' so strangely? Huh?

What's so important we gotta go over it...

You killed Spangler.

- What?

- Didn't you?

- What are you talking about?

- Didn't you?

You got cyanide from the chem lab, and you

slipped it into his juice in the park.

You went to Lippitt Park,

you didn't get an MRI.

- Listen to yourself. Jill, it's me.

- Is that true?

- Don't...

- Are you nuts?

Don't tap dance with me, Abe!

I saw in your book.

I saw that you wrote,

"Spangler, the banality of evil."

You must've decided that

he deserved to die.

And so you stole Rita's keys,

and April saw you.

- Hey, listen, come here.

- No.

Come here.

I made the choice to help that woman.

You had it right the other night.

I always said you had a

first-rate intelligence.

In the park?

On the bench?

The covering up, the...

Jesus, I felt that, Abe! I felt that!

I always taught you to

trust your instincts.

Not everything can be

grasped by the intellect.

If it feels right, it often is.

This was the meaningful act

I was searching for.

You can't just take it upon yourself

to take someone's life.

Well, I thought it was a very

reasonable thing to do.

She hoped he'd get cancer!

But what the hell is hoping?

Hoping is bullshit.

You see, you have to act.

You can't believe it was moral,

what you did.

- You don't think that it was moral?

- Of course I do.

I consider myself a moral man

who's lived a moral life,

who came to the aid of a woman

suffering a great injustice.

- So, what, are you gonna go to prison?

- No, the police are not thinking of me.

You gonna go to prison

for the rest of your life?

And they never will, because I'm a total

stranger to everybody, with no motive.

This will be just another unsolved crime.

Do you know that Rita Richards

has a theory that you did it?

Yes, I know, she told me.

We had a big laugh over it.

How could you do it, Abe?

Is the world a better place

without this rotten judge?

- Oh, my God, Jesus, Abe!

- No, I ask you.

- Is the world a better place...

- No, this is...

- Without Judge Spangler?

- I am so crushed, Abe!

I'm completely lost.

What do I do?

What do you mean?

Meaning what?

Meaning that I care about you

so much and I can't...

I can't go on seeing you anymore.

Oh...

Are you thinking of turning me in?

Yes, I'm thinking of turning you in.

Of course I am.

- Jill...

- But I can't do that.

I can't bring myself to do it.

You, you... This is...

This is crazy, Abe!

I'm asking you to put

our everyday assumptions aside,

and trust your experience of life.

In order to really see the world,

we must break with

our familiar acceptance of it.

The second I decided to take this action,

my world changed.

You saw it.

I suddenly found a reason to live.

I could make love,

I could experience feelings for you,

because to do this deed for this woman

gave my life meaning.

You have to leave, Abe.

You gotta go.

I can't see you ever again.

I won't say anything.

I won't say anything.

But I...

I believe that you think you did

something morally worthwhile.

- I did!

- I do believe that. No, but I...

- But you can't, you can't justify it!

- Shh!

You can't justify it

with all this bullshit.

With all this bullshit,

French postwar rationalizing.

This doesn't...

This is murder.

This is murder.

It opens the door to more murder, Abe.

Okay, okay, okay, okay...

I don't have the intellect

to refute these arguments.

I can't argue with you.

But you taught me to go with my instinct,

and I don't have to think about this.

I feel that this is no good.

This is murder.

Good job today.

The next few weeks

were the hardest of my life.

I loved Abe and truly believed

his misguided intention

was to do a heroic thing.

I argued his position

in my head over and over.

And at times I weakened

and felt he was an original thinker,

who couldn't be judged

by middle-class rules.

You seem so down lately.

Did something happen with Abe?

He's leaving the school.

I guess it's just as well.

How are you taking it?

Not great.

I'm sure Roy will be thrilled to hear that.

You know, it's so funny.

I used to think of Roy as wonderful,

but just very uninspired, compared to Abe.

And now I'm starting to think that

I've really been more

suited for Roy all along.

I guess I'm not as cutting edge

as I imagined myself.

Is it true?

I heard that Abe is moving on.

Yes.

- Yeah, that's true.

- I'm going to miss him.

I guess he found Braylin a little tame

for his restless temperament.

He's thinking of moving to Europe.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I wish he'd go to Spain

and take me with him.

Hmm.

You know, he said that

you two had a pretty big laugh

over your theory that

he was the Lippitt Park killer.

We did have a good laugh over it.

And yet,

if it turned out to be that he did it,

you know, I'd be surprised,

but not stunned.

Not flabbergasted.

I'd still let him take me to Spain.

I played out

my last few weeks at Braylin

and made plans to go off

to Europe to teach.

I still felt justified in what I'd done.

I felt that I'd experienced

something unique and deeper,

from all my social

protests or charity work.

I'd helped a family and hurt no one,

but he who deserved it.

A man who took advantage

of his power to hurt others.

I knew Jill would never betray me.

But then things took on a new twist.

Well, there goes my theory.

I guess I'll never work for the FBI.

What does it say?

"Police are certain

they have the person"

"who poisoned Judge Thomas Spangler,"

"the family court judge

who was murdered in Lippitt Park."

"The alleged killer, Albert Podesta,

a medical laboratory worker,"

"had access to the same kind of cyanide

that was used in the murder."

"Podesta, who denies

he had anything to do with it,"

"had testified before

Spangler two years ago,"

"and had been enraged with the judge for

his ruling in a case against his brother."

"If convicted,

Podesta faces life imprisonment."

What do you plan to do about this?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Oh, surely, you're not gonna let an

innocent man take the rap for you, Abe.

I've been up and back over this

since I heard the news.

"Up and back"?

What does that mean?

It means that I tried to bring off

the perfect crime,

and apparently, I succeeded all too well.

Okay, well, what about all your talk

about moral high ground?

Look, I need to think this out, all right?

What is there to think about?

An innocent man

is about to have his life ruined.

Okay, I'll give myself up.

Is that what you want?

Isn't that what you want?

I mean, all this talk, talk, talk,

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