Is That a Gun in Your Pocket? Page #6

- It's probably all

the jerking off.

- Boys I can't be

a part of this.

- Yeah I can't either.

Hell hath no fury

like a latina scorned.

- Fellas I'm not

suggesting you do anything

you don't want to.

Okay god knows I'm

not the one to judge,

but I do know that what

your women are doing

is wrong.

And in like you have

to pay the consequences

for your actions.

This here's about freedom.

And our forefathers really

fought hard for that freedom.

And now the battle's

come to rockford.

So for those of you who

wanna stand up and fight

for your freedom,

there will be dozens of

beautiful ladies here

tomorrow night at eight.

God speed gentleman.

Oh, oh and boys please remember

it's our little secret.

- Meeting ajourned.

- Getting a bit

out of hand, huh.

- A bit.

But there's always

a silver lining.

- What's the silver

lining with a sex rink?

- Keeps you from sleeping

with my daughter.

- Okay so I'm here.

- I got you something.

- Thank you.

It's a striking resemblance.

What's it for?

- I wanted to apologize.

I'm sorry ant what I said.

You know about your mom

and about not wanting to wait.

I love you Sandy.

I wanna be with you.

No matter what that is.

- I am so gonna make

it worth the wait.

- Oh can I get one

of them red things?

- A rose?

- Yeah roses are good.

- Hot date?

- I hope so.

- Well she must be real special.

- Oh I'm sure she is.

- It's nice to see people

still courting each other

even though there's no,

well you know.

- Yeah.

What's courting?

- You know good

old fashion dating.

- Oh yeah.

Courting.

- So what's her name?

- Who?

- The girl you're

buying the flowers for.

- Oh, I have no idea.

- Ah blind date.

- In a sense yeah.

But I'm not at Liberty

to discuss it though.

- Discuss what?

- Oh the two truck loads of

hookers coming in tonight.

Did I say hookers?

- Yeah.

- Because I meant

something else.

Thank you very much.

You keep the change.

- Right here.

Drivers license and

registration please.

Can you remove it from

the plastic holder please?

Why so nervous, Gus?

- No reason.

- Officer Archer?

- Sheriff.

- Can you check out

the other truck?

- Copy that.

- Would you mind stepping

out of the vehicle sir?

- Is something wrong?

- That's what we're

here to find out?

What brings you to rockford Gus?

- Just delivering some goods.

- That wouldn't be

contraband would it Gus?

- No ma'am just ordinary goods.

- At 8 pm on a Sunday Gus.

You been drinking Gus?

- No ma'am.

- Put your arms out to

your side like this.

Now touch the tip of

your nose with each hand.

Put your right foot in.

Put your right foot out.

Put your left foot in.

Now shake it all about.

- Excuse me?

- You know the hokey pokey Gus?

- I'm afraid I don't.

- Let's look in the truck.

Open her up.

Cherries huh.

- What time you got?

- About five minutes after

the last time you asked me.

- Must have got lost.

- Yeah rockford's

really hard to find.

- Where'd you tell

Barb you were going?

- I don't think she's much

interested in my where abouts.

- Well I'm only

waiting one more hour.

And that's it.

- Mrs Parsons.

- Oh hi Owen.

- What in blazes are you doing?

- Making a citizens arrest.

- What you're not even cops.

You better let us go right now.

- I'll handle this sir.

Ladies I'm gonna need

all those uniforms back.

It wasn't very nice

of you to take 'em,

what if there was some emergency

and I had to show

up on the scene

in nothing but my skivvies?

- I'm sorry about that Owen

but desperate times call

for desperate measures.

- That's true.

- We'll return them

to you straight away.

In the meantime they're

gonna spend the night here.

Courtesy of the fine

citizens of rockford.

- You can't keep us here.

We have rights.

- Tell it to the judge pimp.

- Does your husband

know about this?

- We're not communicating

to great these days.

But I'll be sure

and leave him a note

when I get home.

- Where are the ladies?

- What ladies?

- Day 39 of the

rockford sex strike

was marked by

controversy as two men

allegedly hired by the

national gun organization

were arrested last night

for transporting prostitutes

into this sleepy little town.

- Son of a.

- Sheriff William Parsons

has remained tight lipped

about the incident, refusing

to comment on the veracity

of the allegations.

As we get set to enter

day 40 of the sex strike

both sides are digging

in their respective heels

and no one appears

to be yielding.

- Why is this happening?

- I don't know what all

the ruckus is about,

I mean household

cleaning products

can be just as dangerous

to a child as a gun.

- Look terrorists

from around the world

can buy a 50 caliber

rifle at any gun show

across the country.

That's crazy.

- Well it's better they

by them guns from us

than out sourcing

them jobs to China.

Right?

Usa.

Usa.

- Shut up Dex.

- Usa.

- Dick head.

- Usa.

- Like I need my gun

for self defense.

- Is there a lot of

crime in rockford?

- Oh hardly any,

but that's because

everybody has a gun.

The only way to stop

a bad guy with a gun,

is a good guy with a gun.

- My son is 12 years old,

he's hardly a bad guy.

- Look guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

- This is crazy,

now guns shoot

people by themselves?

Where did you get your top?

I really like it.

- Well at the end of the day,

it's all about our Liberty.

- Liberty?

They said the same crap

with the seatbelt laws,

and the smoking in public thing,

and now it's the guns.

I gotta breath your secondhand

cancer for your freedom.

A kid's gotta die in

school for your Liberty.

F*** them and their Liberty.

Punk ass mother f***ers.

- All I know is this

strike is reeking havoc

on this community.

You know this used to

be a nice place to live.

- No everyone in town

shares Glenn keely's

pessimistic view.

Especially his wife Jenna keely

who is now running for mayor.

- 40% of all guns

purchased in the us

are bought without

a background check

and gunshots are the

leading cause of death

among young people today.

It's unforgivable.

- You look really good mom.

- Thanks honey.

- This is

Patricia valdez goodbye.

- Is it true about the guns?

You know about it being the

main cause of death for kids?

- Afraid so Lance.

- Glenn

keely please report

to mr rockford's office.

Glenn keely report to

mr rockford's office.

- Hi Gladys.

- Glenn mr rockford

will see you now.

- Have a seat.

I find incense very calming.

Don't you?

- Yes sir.

It's very nice.

- Got

this batch in India.

Ever been?

- No sir, can't say I have.

- Too bad.

Although you probably saved

yourself from some vicious

fudgy squirks.

I'm there right now

with an ash shrine,

meaning of life's journey

and all that good crap.

Anyway enough small talk,

I hear your wife's

stirred up quite a

hornets nest down there.

- Yeah I guess that's true.

- I'll get

right to the point.

Productivity is down

significantly this month,

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