It Happened on 5th Avenue Page #8

---

like Hank and Whitey down.

They and others have put their time.

faith and dough into an idea.

I'd be a heel to walk out.

I don't wanna be inquisitive...

...but what is this big idea

you think is so important?

I know it has something to do

with barracks-

An Army camp.

Government's selling.

we're trying to buy it.

Army camp. Oh.

- Where?

HANK:
Just outside the city.

You mean. Camp Kilson?

You're a bright boy.

Go to the head of class.

Yeah. we thought

we could get it cheap...

...but some drip

has bid us up to 190.000.

[ORNAMENT CLATTERING]

JIM:

Oh. excuse me. Mike.

You mean to say you fellas

have been bidding on that property?

Well. sure.

Say. Mike. why are you so interested?

Oh. I'm not interested.

Doesn't mean anything to me. Only I- Heh.

I was just wondering.

what are you using for money. clam shells?

No. we got a hundred thousand

that we collected from our partners...

...fellows just like us.

Yeah. but you bid up to 190.000.

That's way over your capital.

We know it. But we'll get the dough.

Tomorrow's another day.

We're not licked yet.

Hello.

Have you ever seen Santa Claus?

Sonny...

...there are some people

who think I'm Santa Claus.

Why?

A little more to the right. Mary.

Down a little further.

That's it. That's it.

Ahh.

Heh. I feel better already.

- Mary?

- Yes. Mike.

Do you remember

that old railroad flat we had?

Twelve dollars a month

and we thought it was expensive.

- Well. it was the nicest flat on the block.

- Hmm.

Remember how we used to sit out

on the front steps on hot summer nights?

Me with my can of beer

and you with your bag of cherries...

...spitting the stones at Finnigan's goat.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Yes. only it wasn't Finnigan's.

it was Murphy's goat.

No. no. no. It was Finnigan's.

Well. I guess I ought to know

which goat I spit at.

[CHUCKLING]

That was fun. wasn't it?

We had lots of friends in those days.

Real friends.

Yes. and you had lots of muscle.

Real muscle.

Now you're flabby as an old seal.

Yeah. who's flabby? Ow. ow! Oh.

[BOTH LAUGH]

- Mary.

- Ha-ha.

Mike.

I must ask you. Mike.

to return to your room at once.

- Now. just a minute you-

- Go to your room.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Mary. I'll talk to you in the morning.

[LAUGHING]

What's the matter?

- Jim.

- Yeah?

If my name weren't Trudy Smith.

if it were something else...

...would it matter?

Oh-ho-ho. Cookie.

I don't know and I don't care

what your name is.

But whatever it is.

the minute I land a job...

...I'll give you a chance to change it.

Good morning. Mary.

Good morning. Mike. How's your back?

Well. fair on one side. bad on the other.

Oh. Mike.

I didn't sleep very well last night.

I think this mattress

ought to be turned over.

Will you give me a hand. please?

I hope you and Mary don't think

I was being a bit stuffy about last night.

Only you must remember

there are young people in the house...

...and we older folks

mustn't set a bad example.

I assure you. Mr. McKeever.

it was all perfectly innocent.

McKEEVER:

Well. let's forget it.

Except that I hope

I didn't give you the impression...

...that I was opposed

to a man and a woman falling in love.

Now. you take this bed.

It was made for a man and his wife...

...only the wife is in Florida

and the husband is in Virginia.

You know. when you think of all the people

who fall out of love...

...even though they have everything...

...it's kind of nice to think of people

like you falling in love.

Look. Mac.

There are some things

that you just don't quite understand.

Oh. yes. I do. Mike.

It's very plain.

Mary is in love with you.

[MUSIC BO X PLAYING]

[KNOCKING]

McKEEVER:

May I come in?

Sure.

McKEEVER:

Mike. I've been thinking.

- Why don't you and Mary get married?

- Married?

It might be the best thing

in the world for both of you.

Might make something of your lives.

Maybe it's too late.

Oh. it's never too late.

Now. you take Mike here...

...he's a nice enough fellow

but what has he made of his existence?

Absolutely nothing.

Now. Mary is a fine woman

and a fine cook.

Responsibility would be the best thing

for both of you.

And marriage means responsibility.

Whatever you do. don't end up like me.

You know. if I were a younger man.

I might be asking Mary to marry me.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Think it over.

[MUSIC BO X STOPS PLAYING]

Oh. Mary.

what's the matter with both of us?

Why don't we call all this off?

Call what off. Michael?

Mary. listen to me.

I love you very much.

I've always loved you.

There's never been

another woman in my life but you.

No. I mean that.

Why do think I've been hanging around here

submitting to all this?

Because you're here. because I want you.

Because I've been hoping...

I've been hoping that we might...

Mary. I never wanted that divorce.

I never wanted it either.

Oh.

Oh. Michael.

You seem to have changed.

It's almost like old times.

I have changed

and I'm going to change even more.

I promise.

[PIANO PLAYING]

[SINGING "THAT'S WHAT CHRISTMAS

MEANS TO ME"]

[MEN SINGING]

[SINGING]

[SINGING]

[ALL SINGING]

All right. folks. that's enough of that.

[DOG BARKS]

Just as I suspected.

Well. I'll be a monkey's orphan.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh. come. sir.

Your family connections

must be better than that.

All right. Santa. saddle up your reindeer

and let's gallop down to headquarters.

Now. one moment. gentlemen.

These people are not doing any harm.

They're not thieves. nor are they vandals.

- Who are you?

- McKeever's the name.

Aloysius T. McKeever.

And I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

How long you been living here?

Well. I've been here

for the past three winters.

And speaking for my friends here.

They're very nice people...

...ex-servicemen

with their wives and children...

...who are merely. shall we say.

taking advantage of much-needed shelter.

You wouldn't want to arrest them

on Christmas Eve. now. would you?

No.

And this nice couple here...

...is Mary and Mike.

who are soon to be married.

You see. romance has flourished

within our boarded windows.

Oh. Mary. this is the nicest

Christmas present I've ever had.

Thank you. dear.

[VOICE BREAKING]

Mike.

I'm happy. Terribly happy.

Congratulations.

Been married 22 years myself.

- Well. well.

- Twenty-two years? My. that's wonderful.

Yeah. marriage is a great thing.

No family should be without it.

Now. take my wife. a great little woman.

Sits home night after night.

All alone? On Christmas Eve?

All alone and never a beef.

Well. call her up

and ask her to come on over.

- No kidding? You mean it?

- Of course I do.

- How about it. folks?

ALL:
Why sure. go ahead.

Tell her to come on over

and have some fun.

Gee. that's swell of you people.

Moitle would sure like that.

A great little woman.

Hello. Moitle. it's me. Cecil.

Your husband.

Yeah. honey. I'm at a little party.

It's that big gloomy-looking

joint on Fifth Avenue.

The O'Connor place.

Tell her not to come in

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes