It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time Page #6

just to give me maybe that much?

What?

What do you want me to say?

That I love you?

You know

I'm not like your mother.

I can't say everything out loud.

Doesn't mean I don't.

And I love you, too, Dad.

I'm not always proud of my behaviour.

Nobody is.

And, Alex, you're

a much better father than I was.

But you didn't exactly set the bar

all that high.

Come on. Let's go home.

To the side if you're gonna stop,

please.

Come on, let's go.

- Know what your problem is?

- What's that?

- You're not confused.

- No?

It's painfully obvious that you're...

That I'm what?

Paralysed by the fear of failure?

As long as you're aware of it.

I couldn't sleep at night.

- Oh, no?

- I guess we're different.

- Why do you care?

- Why do I care?

You're acting like a p*ssy. And l

don't like hanging out with pussies.

P*ssy?

What are you doing?

- Wait.

- What's wrong?

Do I have BO? That's not fair.

I didn't get a chance to shower.

- I was running all over the place.

- I just... I don't wanna ruin this.

I'm sorry?

I just think what we have going

is so good. I don't wanna rush it.

- Are you high?

- No.

I just think that we should respect

the connection.

- It's a game!

- No.

I'm serious.

I'll call you later, OK?

Can I call you later?

Are... are you OK, sir?

The usual. Thank you.

Do you wanna get a drink?

- No, I'm good.

- All right, we'll talk to you later.

What?

How come you're just standing here?

How come you look like a banker?

I don't know. My dad bought me this.

I like your bracelets.

Do you?

Or are you making a dick of yourself

being nice to the runaway?

No, I do. They're nice.

- Do you dance?

- Here? No.

But I would get the hell outta here.

So, how did Eli look

for the dance tonight?

If you'd been here to see him off,

maybe you wouldn't have to ask.

A little early for bed tonight,

isn't it?

Excuse me.

How long

are you gonna keep freezin' me out?

I don't know.

I need time. All right?

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

So am I.

I'm sorry.

And sad.

And exhausted.

Just...

Talk to Barney.

- It's my father.

- Better!

What?

If you would just sign here,

Mr Gromberg.

And that should do it.

Your late brother's remains

are now officially in your custody.

My deepest... condolences.

- Thank you.

- Have you...?

I'm assuming you've made

suitable arrangements?

Don't worry.

We will see that he gets

a fitting burial.

What's up, man?

Prolific.

Just waitin' on my muse.

She's a bit tardy this evening, no?

Or should I say, this semester?

She'll be here, man.

- She'll be here.

- Well, as we await her arrival,

how about we do a little drinky-poo?

- Pappy was right.

- What?

Nothing. What's up?

I could hear you all the way down

the lobby. It's really loud.

This is my buddy from down the hall.

Don't be fooled by his fancy

grammar. He's really a slimeball.

Malik, this is Peg.

It's a great pleasure to meet you.

See what I'm saying?

- I thought I'd surprise you.

- It's a nice surprise.

- Chablis 2002!

- Boxed wine.

I liked the...

the rectangular element.

Take a seat.

So, what have you guys been up to?

- Cramming?

- Yeah.

For what? Chemistry?

Well, perhaps you'd like...

to try an experiment or two?

You wouldn't lead me astray now,

would you?

No. No way.

Welcome to my laboratory.

I wanna get the sodas.

Give me a Pepsi.

- Hey, yeah, look!

- Check it out, over there!

Let's get 'em!

- Well, well, Abby Staley.

- With a pet!

Quick, it's Shea! Let's go.

Out the back gate.

Where the hell did you go? Come here!

Leave me alone!

What?

You don't like me any more, Abby?

- Good kid.

- Leave him alone.

- What, he can't speak for himself?

- I said leave him alone, shithead.

- You believe the language?

- Sixth grade gutter whore.

Did you think I wouldn't find you?

That's your little game?

Leave me alone. My brother

will beat the sh*t out of you.

- That's for your brother!

- Leave her alone, shithead!

Sh*t! He broke my Tony Hawk! Damn it!

He broke my goddamn board!

Get up!

Come on.

Let's go!

Are you all right, Shea?

Come on!

Please be careful.

Can you handle it?

I think so.

OK. We'll put him in the bow.

Now watch out for the ledge

right here.

Dad, where's the bow?

No, come...

- All right.

- OK, put him in here.

Sh*t! My back!

Christ, my back!

What are you doing?

You're gonna hurt yourself.

Well, someone has to do it!

This is absurd.

You know, this is totally absurd.

It is not!

He lived by the sea,

now he dies by the sea.

This is not the sea, Dad. OK?

This is Lake Winnipac.

It's not the Atlantic.

It's a sailor's sky tonight.

He was in the Navy.

He wasn't a Viking.

This is what he always wanted!

This is what he gets!

- We've got neighbours here.

- The hell with 'em!

I'm fine.

He held on for a while, didn't he?

The only way he knew how.

You could have learned

a thing or two from him.

Well, I did.

I learned how to tie

36 different ship knots.

The hell with knots!

The man had character.

You could have learned that from him.

I tried to learn that from you.

- I'm getting blisters.

- Let's go over here.

So, how come you hang out with

that a**hole, Morgan Cooper?

I don't know. How come

you ran away with that guy?

I don't know.

I thought he was cool, I guess.

- Was he?

- No.

- Where'd you go?

- Cape Cod.

Why'd you come back?

I don't know. I guess I got bored.

Were you homesick?

Hell, no.

I don't know.

Maybe. A little.

- I get homesick when I go to camp.

- That's 'cause camp sucks.

Are your parents as boring and angry,

and always screaming at each other,

like mine?

Kinda.

Do they never talk to you, like mine?

No, my parents

are always talkin' to me.

They ask me questions

whenever they can.

You're lucky.

No, I'm not. You're lucky.

Nah, it's OK.

You really do like it.

How come you haven't

kissed me?

What?

I don't know.

Do you wanna?

I don't know.

'Cause, like, you can, you know.

If you want.

No, thank you.

Police! What's goin' on here, huh?

What's all this noise,

what's all this noise, huh?

Where do you think you're going?

What are you doing?

Spread your legs!

I'm so sorry, Peg!

-..if I find something.

- That's my keys right there!

What have you gotten me into?

What's happening?

No talking.

- Jesus, man! What are you doing?

- I can't believe I trusted you!

- Closet back here?

- No, I don't know. It's not mine.

Yeah, right.

Get this stuff out.

Oh, my God!

- You got a key for this?

- No. I've never used it before.

Get something. Anything.

Open the door lock.

Oh, my God!

Holy sh*t! Jackpot!

How about this for a noise complaint?

We're lookin' at 15 years here,

what do you think?

There must be eight plants in here.

I don't want anything to do with you

ever again!

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to get you in trouble.

I'll do something, I promise.

I can see the headlines now.

"Father and Son Burn Uncle

In Makeshift Viking Funeral."

"Wife and Children Shamed."

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