Jack and Jill Page #10

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Jill, come on.

There's a knight?

Oh, my God, there's a knight?

Yeah, yeah. There's a knight!

There's a knight!

Ah! It's a foul monster! Ah!

Al, that's a ceiling fan.

No, it's a whirling,

five-arm beast.

What is this?

What? Oh.

- She's going to show up.

- Wha... What the...

Felipe, what is this?

I don't understand.

What is going on here'?

What is happening? What...

Felipe, how did you do this?

What? This is... Jill.

Hi, guys, hi.

What are you doing here?

Jill, before you left,

what I was trying to tell you,

while you were dropping

chimichanga bombs...

That was awful, I'm sorry.

Is that you make me feel like,

like I just climbed out of

the trunk of my cousin's car

after driving 1,100 miles

across the border.

Huh?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I was going to say, "He's

ruining the mood," but... Yeah.

But not about you.

What?

I love you, Jill.

I... I love you.

You love me? Yeah, I love you.

Somebody loves me.

I love you, Jill.

Will you convert

to Judaism for me?

What?

I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

Oh, Felipe!

I love you, Jill.

All right, all right,

he said he loved you.

Don't kill him! Come on!

I love you.

What are you doing?

Jack, jump in here

and lay with me.

- Lay with me.

- Oh, just lay with Felipe.

Can't you do that'?

Something's

brewing at D'in' D.

WOW!

Al Pacino!

It's not Al any more,

it's Dunk.

Dunk Accino?

Don't mind if I do.

What's my name?

Dunkaccino

It's a whole new game

Dunkaccino

You want creamy goodness,

I'm your friend

Say hello

to my chocolate blend

Attica, hoo-wah, latte lite

This whole trial

is out of sight

They pulled me back in

with hazelnut, too

Caramel swirl...

l know it was you

Everyone wants my Dunkaccino

Can't get enough

of my Dunkaccino

Kids from seven

to seventeen-0

Lining up for my Dunkaccino

What's my name?

Dunkaccino

A-Dunka-Dunka

Dunka-Dunka-Dunkaccino

And, boom, there you have it.

It's actually 32 seconds,

so I got to lose two seconds.

Maybe you can tell me what,

what part you would lose,

but I think we are

getting there.

Burn this.

I'm sorry?

This must never

be seen by anyone.

If you didn't like all those

close-ups, we can, we can...

This is not the final cut.

There's no doubt,

we can, we can...

All copies.

Destroy them.

You want me to play it again?

Has anybody seen this?

Nobody has seen this.

They have to be found

and talked to.

All right, to be honest,

I showed my wife.

She couldn't believe...

No good, no good.

So I used to be fatter,

and so what he would do...

Picture him way bigger, like...

So what would happen is we'd

get together on Thanksgiving.

He'd kind of gather

the family around,

and, and so I would have to go,

"This is me before

Ultra Slim Fast."

"And this is me now!"

And everybody

would laugh at him

and he'd go cry

in the other room.

I'm Larry, this is

my brother Dave.

We used to be triplets,

but he ate the other one.

Let me tell you, I don't,

I don't really like getting

into fights with him

because I really...

I don't like closing

my fist on him,

so when we get into fights,

we look like sissies

when we fight each other.

You know, 'cause I don't,

I don't really like...

It's kind of that...

The schoolyard fight

when you see two girls.

She's my baby girl,

she knows that.

We're like a husband-and-wife

relationship.

We fight and then we come together.

That's sick, okay?

I mean, not in a sick way.

You shouldn't say that

like that, that's sick.

Not in a sick way.

I don't like my brother.

I have a deep, intense

dislike for my brother.

He's a bad guy.

I know what the problem is.

He didn't say anything

about it, did he?

He don't like the mustache

'cause he can't grow one.

Well, usually, when we

celebrate a birthday,

usually it's more

than one cake.

It's four cakes.

It's usually four.

Yeah. It's usually four cakes.

There's right hand, left

hand, right hand, left hand.

Or one for me and one for him

and two for his girlfriend.

Yeah, yeah.

She was actually living in L.A.

And I was in Kentucky doing

the race at that moment.

I was tired. Yeah.

'Cause I did not

train properly.

And I started feeling,

like, these pains

or something like that, and

it was, like, weird, so...

So, yeah. I mean, that's my

part of, like, ESPN or ESP.

Whatever it's called. It's ESP.

Okay, whatever.

ESPN is the network for sports.

You figure it out.

Well, you know,

I'm married, so...

Yeah, we don't

have girl issues.

Yeah, well, I...

Sometimes, though,

I do try to hook him up

with someone.

I mean, if they come up to me

and they're like, they like

me, I'm like, "Oh, sorry,"

and then I'm like, "Hey,

look at this guy, though."

And so, I mean, he's kind

of like the backup twin.

I don't care, I take it.

I said, "Look, dude,

I don't think I can..."

"I don't think

I can go on this date,"

"but I can't,

can't break the date."

"'Cause, you know,

it's got to happen,"

"it's got to happen tonight."

I said, "Well,

Rog, you know..."

You said... What'd you...

What'd you tell me?

"How does the girl look?

How does she look?"

I said, "Dude, she's

a 10, she's hot."

"She's hot?" "She's hot."

I said, "Well,

you know, send me."

"I'll put, I'll put her on

ice for the night, you know."

"Send me out, I'll make sure

everything's good for you,"

"you know, and you'll be

good to go next week."

So I did.

He went out with the girl.

It was smooth, right?

She... I think she fell in love

with him on the first date.

What's funny is, my brother

ended up dating this girl

for, like, four...

What, like three and a half years?

Yeah, it was like

three and a half years.

She never knew we switched

on the very first date.

She said, "The best time of

my life was the first date."

There you go.

I was like, "Oh, come on."

Growing up with long

hair, full Afros.

Oh, yeah, fine,

with some platform shoes,

something you'd remember.

You stole my good pair.

All right, let's move,

let's move.

It's tricky, it's tricky

Tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme

that's right on time

It's tricky

T-T-T- Tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme

To rock a rhyme

that's right on time

It's tricky, tricky, huh! I

Ah!

The best thing about being

twins is, when I fall,

when I feel sad, Elijah

just picks me right back up

and that's just helpful to me.

Love my twin. Love my twin.

Love you, sis. Love you.

I love us.

You smell.

I love this guy.

I can't imagine life without my brother.

But we love each other.

Yeah, but we love each other, right, okay.

You're my only friend.

That's so sad.

It was cool, man.

I love my brother

I love you, man.

No matter how bad he is, no

matter what he does wrong,

he's still my brother

and he's still number one.

Without a twin

you're useless.

We're good to go. Triplets? No.

No, nah. Nasty, ugly.

Uh-uh, finite. Uh-uh.

No, done. No, we're done.

Twins. Yes.

Keep 'em. Let's go.

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