Jackass 2.5 Page #6
Season #1 Episode #2It's really wet back there.
Okay, this is completely between bros.
This is for the bit.
-I'm just going to spread them a little.
-Wee, turn your head.
-Okay.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait! Let it die down.
Not yet. Let it die down.
-Okay.
-Ready?
I might sh*t.
-I might sh*t. Hold on.
-Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, I'm supposed to get
enough in there to, like...
Okay, here goes, here it goes.
I'm afraid I might sh*t, seriously.
God damn!
No, that's not the goal!
What? Did baby make a boom-boom?
Did the baby... You little rascal!
God!
I told you.
Baby doesn't need
to make a boom-boom!
Now who wants to change
baby's diaper?
You see that?
I told you I had to poop.
So we really couldn't get anyone to fart
on command. We kept trying,
until finally
Knoxville came up with the idea
to force some air
up one of the cast members' asses.
Poor Mike Judge.
I call him and ask him will he be
in the movie, and he's like, "Sure!"
"So, well, come by my house tomorrow.
We're shooting a few things."
And boy, did he walk in
at the wrong time.
He makes...
Like, King of the Hill,
he made Beavis and Butt-Head, and...
He got pulled into it.
I don't know what his role in it was.
Just being there,
you're guilty by association.
You know, once you're there,
a party-pooper.
So I ended up pumping a fireplace
bellows up a man's butt.
I was thinking, this is usually
the kind of thing you have to do
to get into show business,
or at the beginning of your career,
and I mean,
I've accomplished all this stuff,
and there I am...
I just got to be more careful, I guess.
We're with Mike Judge
and it's time for The Butt Bellows.
No one wants to do this at all,
so we're going to draw reeds of grass
to see who has to get it up their bum.
-All right.
-Okay?
-I'm after Knox.
-Okay. I'm after Pontius, then.
-That's it. He gets the camera.
-Yes!
Let's see who's got the smallest.
-Preston!
-Preston!
Ready, everyone? Okay, let's do it.
Excuse me.
You got to be... Do it slow. Do it...
I just...
He hasn't put it in yet, Preston.
I'm just gonna spread your butt cheeks,
okay? Wee Man's gotta find the hole.
Hey, Mike.
Is that it?
Oh, yeah, it's in my butt hole.
I guess I have to look, dude.
-Do you feel wind?
-Slow, Mike!
Yeah, I know, but there is a hole.
-Do you feel like you have to fart?
-Yeah.
-I'll try to fart.
-Okay, wait, wait, wait.
-Do you have to, Preston?
-No.
-No? Okay, keep on pumping.
-I'm trying.
Let's go back in.
What about a straw?
Who's gonna blow a straw
up one of their bros' butts?
Well, Steve-O's probably
done that before.
Easy does it!
To the left, to the left, to the left!
Not... The other left!
-To the f***ing left!
-Camera left, you dipshit!
-That is the left!
-That's right!
-That's... Right, then!
-That's his left.
Yeah, but the straw's bending
to the right.
Oh, I'm sorry.
-Does it have to go in a little bit more?
-A little bit more.
-All right, I'm gonna stick it straight in.
-Jesus!
-You got to relax.
-I can't.
I've never had this much trouble
forcing something into someone's ass.
You're gonna get blood.
-I'm gonna blow in the straw.
-Blow! Blow!
Fill him up.
I can't really blow, dude.
We are trying to seal...
Oh, my God.
He farted on him! He farted on him!
Oh, my God.
Preston, way to go!
-Preston! Preston!
-Preston! Preston!
I've wanted to work with Mike Judge
my whole life.
Ever since I've been in this business.
But I never thought it would be in the
capacity of him running air up my ass.
Now, there's one thing
most of you men will be able to say
when you get back home.
And you may thank God for it.
Thirty years from now,
when you're sitting around your fireside,
with your grandson on your knee,
and he says, "Grandpa, what did you do
in the great Jackass Number Two?"
Well, you won't have to say,
"l ate sh*t down in Louisiana."
'Cause that was Dave England.
All right, you sons of b*tches.
Now you know how I feel.
What do you say we hit the showers?
That was horrible!
Film the poo, Rick.
-Rick, film the poo.
-I'm filming the f***ing poo!
-You're the f***ing...
-I'm not getting any closer!
-Oh, gross!
-Rick, film the poo, dude.
Rick, film the poo!
Rick, film the...
And the spaghetti sauce.
I mean, the whole deal.
I'm Wee Man, and this is The Leapfrog.
Damn!
-Sh*t!
-Oh, God!
Oh, God.
You didn't see that coming!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Safe!
Yeah, bro!
That feels awful.
I'm alive! I'm alive!
I have to give an apology to
Jeff Tremaine, the director of the movie,
because I'm a total piece of work
once again,
and I still have a half a bottle...
-You have to say sorry now, buddy!
-F***ing motherf***er.
At this point, I don't even care.
When the day is done
When the sun goes down
When the children fry
When the mothers frown
When the blood is spilled
And when the knives are drawn
When the blood is spilled
And your body shakes
And your bones will chill
You see a ghost
My God, I've seen a ghost
Y eah.
It's for the kids.
What song do you have down?
No sweat
It's just a ghost
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"Jackass 2.5" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jackass_2.5_11122>.
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